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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is it a bad idea to meet him?

33 replies

MarianneOnAMotorcycle · 05/10/2022 11:37

I've arranged (via SM) to meet up with a childhood "sweetheart". We last saw one another when we were 8 years old (40 yrs ago!) and both have very fond memories of those times and each other.

He seems slightly full-on and will be driving approx. 5 hours each way to meet up in my town. I'm getting cold feet but don't want to spoil the opportunity. I'm not looking for romance but it would be nice to reminisce and with an old friend. He asked if I was married and I said no (I am single). I get the impression from SM that he might have had some trouble in his life, possibly MH issues, but that's just guessing.

WWYD?
Has anyone reading ever met up with someone after this length of time with good results?

OP posts:

Original poster

MarianneOnAMotorcycle · 05/10/2022 13:39

Thanks all! I will message him now to clarify our intentions and explain I'm not up for anything romantic. Will also suggest we meet half way. Any suggestions for how to word this communication would be great…

OP posts:

EmmaH2022 · 05/10/2022 13:54

MarianneOnAMotorcycle · 05/10/2022 13:39

I would be blunt, say it seems wrong for one person to travel so far and state you are not looking for anything other than friendship

but I am also puzzled that you are meeting. I am not convinced you can have such fond memories from then. It sounds more like an internet date.

ChrisTrepidation · 05/10/2022 14:16

Listen to what your gut is telling you.

You were 8 when you knew that man. Too young for him to even be a childhood sweetheart. He is a complete stranger to you and I can guarantee his intentions are not platonic. No man drives 5 hours for a woman unless he's hoping for some action/a romantic encounter.

Original poster

MarianneOnAMotorcycle · 05/10/2022 16:09

Ok perhaps I have been a bit naive. I haven't even dated since I was 20!

We have a lot in common, having grown up in a small community. I'm sure we could fill an evening just with reminiscences.

OP posts:

EmmaH2022 · 05/10/2022 16:30

MarianneOnAMotorcycle · 05/10/2022 16:09

Ok perhaps I have been a bit naive. I haven't even dated since I was 20!

We have a lot in common, having grown up in a small community. I'm sure we could fill an evening just with reminiscences.

I understand the pull of the familiar.

I just think you should be careful, I guess.

Original poster

MarianneOnAMotorcycle · 05/10/2022 21:11

EmmaH2022 · 05/10/2022 16:30

I understand the pull of the familiar.

I just think you should be careful, I guess.

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Thank you — I will.x x

OP posts:

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 05/10/2022 21:14

8 years old and childhood sweethearts? Behave yourself.

Phatgurlslym · 11/02/2023 20:20

I don't think I would meet up with a man I'd last seen when I was 8. I would have no idea who this person is, what they've become.

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