Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have my kids share a room even though we have enough rooms for them to have their own?

34 replies

giantwaterbottle · 05/10/2022 10:53

Kids are 4 and 2. Both the same gender.
At the moment they are in different rooms, each room is decorated for each with a few bits in them.
I would like to put them in the same room and make the other room into a playroom.

I shared with siblings until about 11 and I think it has made us all closer.

DH never shared with his and isn't close to either.

DH is not massively against them sharing but is not sure whether it's a good idea or why we would choose it when they have the option of their own rooms.

*side note is that 2 year old wakes earlier than 4 year old which could be a problem..

OP posts:
PuttingDownRoots · 05/10/2022 10:57

We did at that age. The eldest wanted her own space at 7/8yo. They still choose to share some weekends (11 and 9 now)

Makes even more sense if the rooms are different sizes.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 05/10/2022 10:58

Not unreasonable. But I would personally give them separate rooms.

IntegrityisDead · 05/10/2022 10:58

Would they like to? You could trial it?
I tried to be as flexible as I could with my 3. At one point they all chose to sleep in the same bed for months!
When you look back on it it is such a minor issue in terms of raising your children - I would recommend you go with the flow ( as much as you can bear to) and enjoy the ride!!

PeekAtYou · 05/10/2022 10:58

We did this because the kids asked. They had separate rooms by 9ish

AryaStarkWolf · 05/10/2022 10:58

How much earlier does 2 year old wake? A part from that I think it's a great idea for younger siblings to share

properdoughnut · 05/10/2022 10:58

What are you going to do with the extra room?

AryaStarkWolf · 05/10/2022 10:59

properdoughnut · 05/10/2022 10:58

What are you going to do with the extra room?

Use it as a Play room, say that in the OP

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 05/10/2022 11:00

My ds's shared from 1-6 (and 6-12) their choice...
Sharing is a great skill to have op!

Procrastination4 · 05/10/2022 11:01

I shared with my siblings, and, while we’re close, sharing a bedroom had nothing to do with it, I think, as I absolutely hated it growing up! (However, there were three of us sharing, albeit the biggest bedroom in the house.) My own two boys had their own rooms from the start, probably as a result of this. They are very close, regardless. However, we had another bedroom that we turned into a playroom for them and it was a great asset, so I get your wanting to have a playroom for the children. The different sleeping times would make me further adverse to sharing and, in my own case, I used to make up stories for my sisters every night (I’m the eldest) and I’d say I kept them awake quite bit beyond their “bedtimes” as a result. 😁

girlmom21 · 05/10/2022 11:01

I wouldn't make them share if they didn't have to but there were 3 of us in one room so I'm probably biased.

Procrastination4 · 05/10/2022 11:03

girlmom21 · 05/10/2022 11:01

I wouldn't make them share if they didn't have to but there were 3 of us in one room so I'm probably biased.

A kindred spirit!😂

Dixiechickonhols · 05/10/2022 11:03

Early waking could be an issue it’s not fair on 4 yr old if little one disturbs him. How will you manage later bedtime for eldest? Reading and chatting is trickier if you can’t do it in bed as 2 yr old is trying to fall asleep.

AriettyHomily · 05/10/2022 11:03

We did exactly this, and the playroom was never bloody used. IME when they are still young enough to play with things they mostly want to be on the same level as you. Mine still share now at 11 through choice, and the playroom is my office.

bravelittletiger · 05/10/2022 11:04

My two share the same room and we have enough rooms for them to not need to. I like the idea of them sharing and it is super cute- the bigger one often asks to see her sister (sleeping) before she gets into her bed and I'm excited for the phase where they will chat to each other whilst they are falling asleep and get into bed with each other to read stories.

Hankunamatata · 05/10/2022 11:04

I'd keep them separate. They will be forever waking each other. Bedtimes are much easier in separate rooms.

ladygindiva · 05/10/2022 11:06

I have twins who share a room and I have no idea why anyone would choose to put two siblings in a room when they don't have to. Yes, the earlier waker will cause a problem and they piss about at bedtime. My advice is just don't.

Untitledsquatboulder · 05/10/2022 11:06

That's what we did OP and it worked well. Then when ds1 was 9 he wanted his own room so we split them.

ladygindiva · 05/10/2022 11:07

bravelittletiger · 05/10/2022 11:04

My two share the same room and we have enough rooms for them to not need to. I like the idea of them sharing and it is super cute- the bigger one often asks to see her sister (sleeping) before she gets into her bed and I'm excited for the phase where they will chat to each other whilst they are falling asleep and get into bed with each other to read stories.

Yeah, the chatting at bedtime is actually not that cute when it turns into bickering. It's a pita tbh.

silverpinecones · 05/10/2022 11:07

Ours are almost 2 and almost 5 and have shared since the beginning (except the little one was in with us for first 6 months and still spends most of the night in with us!!)

They seem to enjoy sharing and it means we can easily have people to stay in the spare room. I also like that they are used to sharing with each other - even when the youngest wakes and cries it doesn't even wake the eldest.

I know that one day they will want their own rooms but for now they love it so why not! You could always try it and change again if it's not working out?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/10/2022 11:08

I'm excited for the phase where they will chat to each other whilst they are falling asleep and get into bed with each other to read stories.

Do you live in Disneyland? My sister and I had bunk beds, fought for years and she leaned over and puked on me once.

But each to their own... if they are happy in their own rooms, don't force your ideals on them.

silverpinecones · 05/10/2022 11:09

Plus I actually find bedtimes a lot easier with them together. Again they are used to it, and it's easier when I'm putting them down alone. They listen to each other's story, we talk about the day, and then I cuddle the little one to sleep. The eldest still likes to have around when she's falling asleep so this means I'm not torn between the two rooms!

AryaStarkWolf · 05/10/2022 11:11

Seems like the answer is "depends on the kids/how they get along" from reading the replies here 😂

IncompleteSenten · 05/10/2022 11:13

I would keep them in separate rooms. They can play together in either room but it's good to have their own space as well. My two shared a room when we moved to this house (out of necessity. We had only 2 bedrooms at the time) and it was bloody awful. They kept each other up late, got overexcited, argued, one would complain that the other was making too much noise and they couldnt sleep. In the morning it would be arguing about getting woken up too early. One was hot, the other cold. The ten year long Battle Of The Window saw many casualties . RIP red teddy. You deserved more than to end like that. 💔

As they got older the room was a shit tip with each of them claiming the other was messy.

In the end we were able to get an extension built so they could each have a room.

Btw, it turns out it's my eldest who liked to live like a pig.

My youngest bought himself a vacuum cleaner and a mini handheld one and his room is like something out of good housekeeping magazine.

My eldest's is like an episode of hoarders.

BigFatLiar · 05/10/2022 11:15

Our twins shared. It was easy and convenient when they were little and often one would get out her bad and in with her sister during ghe night. As they got older we had extra room but they chose to share. There was bickering at times but despite that they liked being together. They're still close.

I'd let them share now if it works, you can always move one into the other room if it doesn't work out.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 05/10/2022 11:17

I never shared with my siblings and I'm really close to them, I wouldn't read too much into sharing rooms and being close personally. A friend of mine had a sister who she was forced to share with and they still hate each other.

However, I think it's fine for them to share at that age.