AIBU?
I look and feel so old, at hairdressers in an hour - please help
EbbyEbs · 05/10/2022 09:36
I’m 41 but look about 50. I’m not very good at taking care of my hair and skin, spend my life in jeans and wellies covered in dog hair. I really want to improve my appearance! But I have no idea how. I don’t have friends as such (autistic, I’m a loner) so nobody to bounce ideas off.
im at hairdressers in an hour. I currently have the same hairstyle I did when I was 12 (just past shoulders, tied up in a pony tail, frizzy and dull) although now it’s partly grey too.
Can anyone recommend any good hairstyles and colours for someone my age. I’m not going to post a pic of myself but I’m white (and pale) about 5ft 10, size 12 - currently dull light brown mousy hair
Am I being unreasonable?
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Clarinet1 · 05/10/2022 09:42
You could just ask your hairdresser for a suggestion or two - maybe not to do today but to go back for in a week or two. They are trained to advise and will have had people who feel in a rut before. Of course, it partly depends on budget - if you went for some sort of colour you will have to spend more obviously.
M0rT · 05/10/2022 09:42
Hold a light and dark coloured top up to your neck and see which brightens your face more.
Then you can tell the hairdresser if you want to lighten or darken your hair.
I use Philip Kingsley elasticiser on my hair before washing and that leaves it in great condition. You can get it in Boots or cheaper online I think.
I wouldn't do anything drastic with a cut until you've settled on the colour your happy with it, too much at once and if you don't like it harder to change.
Good luck 🍀
rumred · 05/10/2022 09:43
Hiya I trust my hairdresser to give me a style that suits me. Otherwise I'm clueless really. So I'd suggest you are honest with tge hairdresser and see what they recommend. A good one will have had ongoing training and an eye for what suits different people
Good luck and enjoy
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 05/10/2022 09:48
Put a pic on here with most of your face blocked out, it's really hard for people to say what suits you without seeing you. If its frizzy, is your hair naturally wavy? I've seen a lot recently of people embracing the waves, using products specifically for waves and scrunching and air drying etc
ThatCheeseIsMine · 05/10/2022 09:51
i have short hair and love it, so I’m biased but I think a stronger colour and crop or choppy layered short hair would give you a lift. But, that’s a drastic step and it depends so much on your face shape, hair type, and what you feel ready for. It’s not about what’s suitable for your age so much, more what works for you bot looks and lifestyle wise. Pinterest is a great place to look for pics but I’d also ask the hairdresser, just say you want a change and feel you are looking older than you are and what would they suggest.
EbbyEbs · 05/10/2022 09:52
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 05/10/2022 09:48
Put a pic on here with most of your face blocked out, it's really hard for people to say what suits you without seeing you. If its frizzy, is your hair naturally wavy? I've seen a lot recently of people embracing the waves, using products specifically for waves and scrunching and air drying etc
It is curly but almost Afro curly … a dry frizzy mess. I have a friend who is black with Afro hair and we often joke about our “twin hair” … thing is, hers suits her! 😂
Snowberry3 · 05/10/2022 09:53
Hi lites - I'm greyish but mainly dull blonde but I have hi lites in 3 different shades they give it a lift and don't show roots if they are similar to your own colour but brighter.
Snowberry3 · 05/10/2022 09:54
I always put makeup on for the hair dressers - you have to stare at your face in the mirror for an hour!
newsaint · 05/10/2022 09:55
I agree with the others - simply give your hairdresser free reign (within agreed limits / budget) and get them to surprise you!
caramac04 · 05/10/2022 09:56
Some good advice here. I agree with maybe change colour before a very different cut. Do you wear your hair down or up? Your hair style needs to suit your lifestyle so if you’re dog walking you might prefer to wear your hair up unless you go short.
Ask your hairdresser, they can definitely offer good advice. Good luck
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 05/10/2022 09:59
Have you ever looked at curly girl methods for your specific hair curl type? Might help it go from frizzy to curly? I wouldnt go for highlights if its frizzy its only going to dry it out more
KalaniM · 05/10/2022 10:03
Honestly if you feel your hair is dry and frizzy and don’t know what to do with it, I don’t think a colour change or cut is going to solve your situation! Have a trim today and then focus on conditioning your hair, learn the curly girl method.
Westfacing · 05/10/2022 10:07
Snowberry3 · 05/10/2022 09:54
I always put makeup on for the hair dressers - you have to stare at your face in the mirror for an hour!
I do this! At least lipstick and define the eyebrows a bit - lessens the grimness of looking at yourself with hair in foils/colour on, all looking a bit deranged
Ponoka7 · 05/10/2022 10:07
My hair could be similar to yours. I've started using John Frieda frizz ease Brazilian range. When just out use a deep conditioning leave on mask. I went from getting it coloured in the hairdresser's to using Garnier Belle Color in natural dark ash blonde. The grey just blends in when it's coming through.
Zilla1 · 05/10/2022 10:18
If you have the money, have heard some good reviews for having your colours done then selecting hair colour, make up and clothing to suit.
Good luck.
VatofTea · 05/10/2022 10:19
Maybe just try something new, if you don't like it, don't worry hair will keep on growing!!
How about putting a few highlights in, just to see something different in the mirror. I suggest asking for highlights, with 2 dark blonds, and 1 light blond to mix it up a bit.
Keep the hairstyle for 6 weeks, just to give yourself time to get used to it,
k1233 · 05/10/2022 10:24
I google then take screenshots to show my hairdresser. I try to analyse what I like about the pucs - is it the cut, the highlights, the way the front falls etc. That really helps my hairdresser understand what I'm after.
Fir you, I'd google shoulder length very curly light brown hair.
I got the below pics. Top right is quite similar to my hair and I'll be showing it to my hairdresser tomorrow as i like the highlights in the back.

Homewardbound2022 · 05/10/2022 10:24
Snowberry3 · 05/10/2022 09:54
I always put makeup on for the hair dressers - you have to stare at your face in the mirror for an hour!
Exactly what I was going to say!
A slick of vibrant lipstick and wear a nice coat so that you'll feel and look great leaving the salon.
k1233 · 05/10/2022 10:28
I do a mix of lighter and darker panels to give contrast. I don't like my roots dark - really washes me out. So I keep my natural colour at top and the colours get hand blended through (hope that makes sense)
Ameanstreakamilewide · 05/10/2022 10:43
EbbyEbs · 05/10/2022 09:36
I’m 41 but look about 50. I’m not very good at taking care of my hair and skin, spend my life in jeans and wellies covered in dog hair. I really want to improve my appearance! But I have no idea how. I don’t have friends as such (autistic, I’m a loner) so nobody to bounce ideas off.
im at hairdressers in an hour. I currently have the same hairstyle I did when I was 12 (just past shoulders, tied up in a pony tail, frizzy and dull) although now it’s partly grey too.
Can anyone recommend any good hairstyles and colours for someone my age. I’m not going to post a pic of myself but I’m white (and pale) about 5ft 10, size 12 - currently dull light brown mousy hair
I'm 43 and often have 2 dutch plaits done by the hairdresser.
They look great and I keep them in for about a week.
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