If you're working with small children you should atleast try to appear approachable

[NotAMorningPersonThen]

NC for this as I frequently do if anything I post could be recognised.

DS started reception at his special needs school this September. Due to his needs he's eligible for travel assistance and the special needs bus picks up him, and his classmates, every morning and drops them off after school.

The chaperone appears to be in a permanently bad mood and so inpatient with the children. There is never a smile or so much as a "good morning mum/dad/DS" just a permanently fixed grumpy expression like she doesn't want to be there. No response whatsoever when I smile and thank her for bringing him home.

DH commented that DS looks so unhappy on the bus which made me feel so sad for him. He used to love going on his nursery bus as the driver was always kind and welcoming towards him and the others.

AIBU to think If you're working with small children you should atleast try to appear a bit approachable?

That's terrible. I would raise it with the school or the company they use.

Posted too soon.

She was literally rushing him out of the door this morning when I was struggling to get his coat on. Totally impatient and intolerant of the fact a child with disabilities (who was ready on time but for the coat) may need a minute or two.

Complain

I’d raise it. Perhaps that particular assistant would be better placed on a bus with older passengers.

Say something, it's important that you are capable of being patient when working with kids in general, let alone kids with additional needs.

I think that's unacceptable actually. I can imagine it's a rather dull, stressful job but I've done plenty of dull, stressful jobs and always managed to put on a smile and say a cheery hello.

But how many does the bus pick up? Where is your DS on the route? If she has to wait a few minutes for every child to put their coat on, or their shoes, or find their bag etc, how late will they arrive at school?

I'm finding it's increasingly like this in jobs where people qork with the public. So often their mood is sour but if working with children or the elderly it is particularly concerning. I would complain. If she's not suited for the role she can find another job or motivate herself.

*work even

DS is the last to be collected on the way to school. There is 5 or 6 other children on the bus when he gets on.

I understand what you're saying and can see your point. If it was just the impatience over the coat on one occasion I wouldn't read too much into it, as you said they have a schedule to adhere to, but coupled with the continued moody expression and lack of communication feels like a bit of a red flag.

WTF is WRONG with her?
Totally in the wrong job.

I mean, I'm pretty sure it will be covered in basic training that working with children with disabilities won't always be plain sailing...

Perhaps she annoyed with all the parents who think only their child is important and all the other children have to have their needs squashed. Maybe one of the other children can only cope being on the bus for a limited time before having a meltdown?

Well if that's the case she should reserve her prejudice in the company of small vulnerable children who have to sit with her, in that, atmosphere for the duration of their journey.

If you were implying that DS is routinely late or not ready on time then you're completely wrong. We are always out the door with him the minute we see the bus arrive. One morning he needed a moment to get his coat on.

Where is there even a single suggestion of anyone disregarding a child's needs? Except the miserable chaperone, obviously.

Definitely complain.

I complained about a TA recently who was doing the morning “meet and greet” for my daughter who has a diagnosis of ASD and struggles with school based anxiety (mainstream school)

This woman had such an impatient air about her, I wouldn’t have wanted to go anywhere with her at my age, never mind as an anxious 9 year old !

She may as well have had a t-shirt on reading “I’ve got a job to do and I haven’t got time for this”.

My DD really picks up on tone of voice and all the small details that show someone’s mood, and is really affected by it.

After I complained they swapped her with a nice TA with a smile on her face, who doesn’t look furious that she is expected to speak to children and parents. Basic really.

YANBU. I used to work closely with drivers and chaperones and they were always very cheery with the children no matter what sort of day they were having.

It's an important part of the job and if she can't manage that, she shouldn't be doing it.

Does it even matter if she's annoyed? I've been inwardly annoyed on many occasions dealing with the public t work...but you still put on a pleasant voice and remain well mannered.

Even if she was annoyed that doesn't give her the right to spread her misery.

The more I read your post the angrier I feel OP! You have a reception child. The morning transition can be really hard, even for children with SN.

How dare she. Also, when I see at an adult who has an attitude in front of parents, I wonder how they might behave if there is a problem with the adults are not around.

She is the first point of contact for the day young children with extra needs getting to school.
She should absolutely be welcoming kind and patient.
So many kids with additional needs are reluctant to go to school and this could really trigger some to not any to go.
Reception age is very young to be putting on a bus away from parents so the adult driving the bus should be extremely friendly and accommodating.
The amount of children getting on the bus or the bus running to schedule is of secondary importance to those children getting on feeling safe, secure happy and relaxed starting their school day.

I would definitely mention it to someone higher up.
Imagine what she is like when there's no other adults present if she's like that when you're there!

The busses are ran by the council so I could definitely have a word with somebody higher up the travel assistance department. I'm glad people can see my POV and don't think I'm being too precious.

As PP said the chaperone is the first point of contact the children have in the morning and given that some will understandably have some anxieties about going in, the first point of contact needs to be less intimidating.

This^ esp last sentence.

Agree with PPs. A job like this requires someone with cheery personality. Definitely put in a complaint. Wouldn't be surprised If other parents have complained