To complain to the school?

[estak]

DS is in year 10, he's very into drama and has always been interested in the school productions etc. This year, he auditioned for the main role in a musical, he got it and was happy. Another boy in his year also auditioned, but was offered another part, the boy wasn't happy with this and refused to be involved in the production if he wasn't getting the main role, this boy is known to mess around and DS has told me a few times how they've missed drama due to the teacher being distracted with his behaviour. The teacher then gave the part to the other boy and has told DS it's unusual for other boy to want to participate and DS has involved every year there's been a production so it's only fair to give someone else a chance.

WIBU to complain?

no

If it had been given to the other boy first even for the same reasons, then there is no issue.

But to take it off your son for those reasons, I would not be happy.

As a teacher I would absolutely complain. The other boy basically threw a temper tantrum and has now been rewarded with the main part!

The teacher has handled this situation very poorly. Its great he wants to participate but that should not be at the expense of others. I would pre warn your son that even if nothing changed immediately after talking to the teacher I wouldn't be surprised if the other boy changed his mind or decided it was all to much like hard work and then the teacher came crawling back to your son to take the part.

It's definitely worth a complaint in my opinion.

You can discuss without complaining, of course you can start a conversation to establish the facts. There may be things your son doesn't know that have influenced the decision.

If you are 100% clear that it happened like this, I think
you would be right to ask
for a meeting to discuss the issue .

Agree with PP. They'd have been valid reasons to give the part to the other boy first, but they can't give it to him because he had a tantrum.

What would you want to achieve from the complaint though? Does DH want the part back as a result of parental interference? I think that's unlikely to happen. They might apologise, but they're unlikely to change it.

No, YANBU, that's awful, they can't give it to one person then give it to someone else and just ditch the first person! That smacks of favouritism.

No! YWNBU to complain. I feel very sorry for your son. It should be given on merit and your son won the part. This other boy, if it's rare to get him to be involved in this sort of thing, as has been communicated, should be given a lesser part. I'd speak to the teacher involved and then escalate if necessary. How is your Ds handling this? Would he want you to do something about this, is the most important question I guess.

I would absolutely complain about that.

I works present the facts as you understand them and ask for a meeting to discuss and ensure this isn’t true. Sounds bloody awful.

I suspect you need to be prepared to hear that there's another reason DS had the part removed and you may not have heard the whole story, but on the face of it school have behaved badly. If you do "complain" I'd start on the basis that you want clarification of what DS has told you.

If they'd given the part to the other boy from the beginning then no problem. But as it would had changed because the other boy decided to kick off and just got what he wanted I would say something.

Just to clarify , your son was offered the part , the other boy had a strop so they offered the main role to him instead ?
If that's right I'd go mad
You dont reward sulking , what a message to send out to students

I'd imagine the school know lots you don't about the other boy's story if they're prepared to risk giving the lead to someone generally disruptive. It's still been badly handled but if you knew all the details (which you never will) you might find you support the decision.

Assuming you've been told everything by DS

DS is upset as he was looking forward to it and I know he wouldve worked hard on the role. Me or DS wouldn't have minded if the boy was offered the part at first and DS the other role, but that didn't happen and I'm annoyed as the role was taken off of DS so it seems like his feelings aren't as important as other boy. This boy has was bullying DS last year for being gay (he isn't but if he was it wouldn't be a problem) as his opinion was if you're into drama you're gay (obviously not true) and he was the only other boy to audition (it was a male role) so it seems like he mightve auditioned to spite DS

Well whatever has happened, I guarantee they haven't just taken the part off DS to give it to someone unsuitable because a badly behaved child complained.

You should definitely ask for clarification .

I do believe DS and I don't think he is lying

I'm not saying he's lying, but I'm certain there's another version of events.

I'm not sure what complaining would achieve TBH although it does sound like they've handled this badly. Are there any musical theatre classes or productions your DS could get involved with outside of school? The standard might well be higher and he might enjoy it more in any case.

I'll phone the school later, I know DS probably won't get the part again but I'm not happy about this

Not unreasonable to complain at all (if your son wants you to). That’s just fundamentally unfair.

This. Definitely approach the school. Definitely don't phrase it as a 'complaint'. Ask for a chat with the teacher just to clarify the situation as your DS appears upset but you just want to be sure of the real facts etc etc.

As a rule of thumb I would never go in all guns blazing on the assumption that my DC's version of events is the only one that could possibly be true. Always work on the basis that there are three sides to every story!

Maybe the other boy is yr 11vand it's his last chance？
。。

(Ex-teacher here).
These sort of situations in schools always p* me off (excuse my language, but I'm annoyed) - X who is naughty every day, and disruptive gets merit points just for being on time, and getting his journal out at the start of the lesson, whereas Y who is polite and always tries their best has to achieve 10/10 on his maths homework, in order to get the same merit point. It goes on more than people think (and I worked in multiple schools, not just one) - we are encouraged to be positive to X and praise him for the smallest things, in the hope that it would encourage him to be better behaved. X would usually be placed back in the internal exclusion room the following week.

With my more rational and calm head on - I would speak to the school, but don't approach it from an upset/angry perspective - I agree to ask for clarification. If the teacher says (as they did with your son above) that it was to give the other child a try at the spotlight, as your DS has had main roles before. Reply that you completely understand that reasoning, but why was that decision not made after both boys auditioned? Why was it given to your son first, if that is the reasoning?

Yanbu, it should not have been taken from him because of a tantrum.