No to self catering ! You’d need another holiday to get over it 🤣

I absolutely agree that a self catering holiday as a mum is no way a holiday.

I came back exhausted over the summer. All the planning, prepping, cooking etc wiped me out.

My advice is to go all inclusive, till the children are a little older.

Dubai is a nice place for families to visit.

Sounds like a lovely holiday for your 'D'H.

Does no-one else matter to him?

Honestly, this would have been perfect for me. Everyone is different though.

Canaries maybe? How long are you all willing to travel/fly for ?

And if your in-laws dont want to do all inclusive but you do, many hotels give the option to choose so you could all be happy. Or stay in separate hotels but near.

4 and 2 months … personally I wouldn’t see it as a holiday either, very difficult with travelling. We did some lovely staycations where you were only about 2 hours drive from home

Agree with others, self catering isn't a holiday !

All inclusive is the way, it will be simpler and even cheaper probably.
I would rather send my DH away and stay at home then go on self catering holiday with PIL, at least at home everything is organized already.

I have to disagree. If we are going away for a shorter break we might choose hotels, but if we are having a longer holiday, say a week or more, I much prefer self catering.

It just feels more relaxed because you can please yourself when you get up, what you do, when you eat. Plus you usually have more privacy and space.

We often holidayed with PILs when DD was young and it worked well. We took it in turns to cook (we all like cooking) and PILs always pleased to have the chance to spend time with DD. Also DH did his share of childcare. If your DH doesn't then your issues extend beyond the holiday.

Same here!

Get a nice villa, own pool. You'll get a bargain last minute.
Kids can splash & scream and you're not all stuck in one room.
Go out for dinner or get somewhere with a BBQ and make DH & FIL do it.
See if you can persuade ILs to let you escape for dinner as a couple one night.

Ideal.

Caveat: we've rebranded 'holidays' as 'time as a family' because let's face it, there's no relaxing going on with kids present.

I'd certainly give up on any idea that a holiday is relaxing with small children, in fact I'm not sure holidays ever are, it's about difference.
The real issue is your DH. Mine did all the cooking (all the time), so self-catering was not an issue. He needs to step up on the childcare front.

We've always holidayed SC since DC's were 5 weeks (twins) I don't find it stressful. I think the people saying about 'all the planning and cooking' are being slightly dramatic. We just ate as we wished. Did a food shop when we arrived in the town we were staying in. Got lots of picky bits. Salads. Meats, cheese, Some fresh bread. Frozen croissants. Some bits for one fried brekkie, some pizzas and snacks, juice and drinks.
Mainly had grazing breakfasts, if s large one then no lunch but if smaller then we'd have some bread with bits for lunch unless we were out somewhere for day in which case we'd find a cafe or buy a sandwich. Dinner was stuff with salad - pizza, chicken, jacket potato etc I'd made the big bowl of salad up at the beginning of the week and it did a few days.
We made sure we had a caravan that had a wrap around decking with a gate. Kids could run around outside but be safe.

It’s never bothered me but we’re the camping and caravanning type rather than the go abroad and lounge type. If your in laws are planning on doing the cooking and looking after eldest than that would give you a bit more peace no? If you were at home you’d have both kids and the cooking?

Err not in the summer it's not if the OP burns!

I found SC easier with small children, easier to get food as and when. plenty of room in the evening to chat and spread out, a washing without having to wake the children. A washing machine.
We always booked a sitter for a couple of nights and went out to eat.

I find eating out with a 2 year old anywhere an utter pain.

If you do get a pool, make sure it's fenced.

I love self-catering, especially when DD was young. Hotels were just stress with her being an early riser and not happy to go to sleep late.

But - I would never go on a holiday with my in-laws or my mum. That's my idea of a disaster one. We did short weekend trips but that's the extend of it. And I do get along with them very well.

Speaking from my experience …

Don’t holiday with the inlaws , they never help as much as you hope they will , they just interfere

A holiday with a 2 month old is not a good idea .
we went to a timeshare in Spain with my parents when we had a 3 year old and 8 month old who was breast fed , that was a good holiday
partly because it was in March , when the weather wasn’t too hot ,
my parents took their car which we all fitted in and picked us up from the airport
they’d been there loads of times and knew the area well

in about 2 years time got to a nice all inclusive resort with a kids club , somewhere not too far away eg Spain , Balearics ..until then it’s easier to stay at home

I wouldn’t go away with a baby that young. Did it once with a 10m old self catering with in laws like you and it was no holiday at all. From 2 mine have enjoyed going away and each year it has got easier but I think unless you have a kids/club you’ll always be ‘on’ until children are old enough to be in the pool
on their own or happy reading a book to themselves. I’ve said my max is 7 days self catering before I start to find it a chore.

Self catering accomodation doesn't mean you need to cater for yourself. For me it's the flexibility to try all the local restaurants and the facilities to make a simple breakfast or lunch if you want to.

Eating real local food is the best part of a holiday for me (from markets, supermarkets, food stands and restaurants) so I avoid AI and its mass catering.

That said holidaying with any "others" is hard going. I'd do a long weekend at most.

This time last year we were in the Algarve for two weeks and it was a steady 25 degrees everyday..perfect. But there is no way l would cook on holidays. I go away to get away from cooking/ cleaning/ tidying so l love my holidays as there is none of that.
When our dc were the ages yours are we went to Lanzorote and it was so lovely sitting under an umbrella breastfeeding in October rather than looking out at the rain at home. 4 year old ..with dh ..spent the time in the pool or the sea and had a ball. We had a ground floor apartment right by the pool so could pop back in for baby 's nap and sit at the patio doors reading while she slept. But no inlaws and no cooking!! Just eat out..outdoors in a warm atmosphere. Its just a lovely family time.

I would only go all inclusive and take ready made baby milk if you are bottle feeding. Tenerife is quite warm still in October and I'd pick a family complex with kids entertainment and play parks etc If your husband and parents are on board to all share the load you should have some resting time

When my 3 kids were that age, we always went self-catering. I found it much easier than staying in a hotel - easier for getting things in for the kids that they'll eat, preparing bottles etc. Everyone in their own rooms (except the baby) , kids can nap in the day, we could sit around the pool in the evening after the children were in bed. We went twice with the in-laws, and they were a big help. We mostly ate out in the evening, with days at the villa.

Everyone pulled their weight - that's the important bit. Even FIL (who usually did very little at home) helped by entertaining the kids.

So really, it depends on how helpful you think your DH and in-laws will actually be. Why are you saying that your DH will be able to relax? Surely he should be helping by taking turns so you can all have time to relax? If you don't think he will, then I wouldn't be prepared to go on holiday, whether it be self-catering or hotel.