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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pregnant and I can’t afford to be

36 replies

Autumnsea · 04/10/2022 14:41

Been trying for a 3rd child for a while and it’s finally happened!

But with the cost of living crisis it all feels so unaffordable now. We have a household income of 52K. But our mortgage has just gone up from £750 a month to over £900.

I’m really scared about the way the economy is going, the predicted recession and I assume job losses that will come with it.

I can’t do it. Is that really unfair of me?

We have saved 15K to get us through Mat Leave but that just doesn’t feel like a big enough buffer anymore.

OP posts:
BirdinaHedge · 04/10/2022 15:11

You don’t have to go through with this pregnancy. No woman should feel they have to

Saturdaydreamingway2355555 · 04/10/2022 15:12

I think you are over thinking it, the baby is very much wanted and will be very much loved by all.
Materntiy leave might have to be shorter, but that’s okay. We couldn’t afford much mat leave after our 2nd so I only took 5 months off and then one month annual leave.
Id potentially try and keep your savings to cover the shortfall between nursey and your wage.
Its all doom and gloom in the news so I’d see this as a light at the end of the tunnel, something happy to focus on rather than the rubbish of cost of living malarkey.
yes nursery is expensive, it’s not forever and we all just make do!

RandomMusings7 · 04/10/2022 15:15

BirdinaHedge · 04/10/2022 15:11

You don’t have to go through with this pregnancy. No woman should feel they have to

Aborting a pregnancy you struggled 3 years to achieve and was obsessed about in a moment of panic over what amounts to normal money worries could very well leave her devastated and desperate to try again ASAP.

She knows she has choices. It's much more nuanced than that. Being pro choice doesn't mean advising abortion as a universal magical fix regardless of the particulars...

Mysteryallergy · 04/10/2022 15:19

There's probably a million and one things you can do to cut back, look at your phone bills, TV, where are you shopping? Stop buying what you don't need. If you've saved 15k then I am willing to bet you as a family spend more than you need to on stuff you don't need to.

tuttifruit · 04/10/2022 15:24

As you've been trying for such a long time it seems like this baby is very wanted which is the main thing. Now it's a reality you're just having a wobble. You've got enough money to be able to cope but you may just have to cut back on more than you were expecting but you'll find a way to manage. Don't worry about losing jobs as you can't predict that, and if it happens, you will find a way through. Good luck and congrats

PumpkinDart · 04/10/2022 15:41

Do you think sharing these worries with your husband would help? You could consider a practical plan, draw up all of your outgoings and sit together to go through places to tighten up. Yes it'll be tougher but your in a good position with savings going in to this. Plus you have another 8/9 months pre maternity leave to add to those savings.

Ultimately it's your choice but given the absolute wild ride my hormones set me on during early pregnancy I'd try to set things down as logically as I could before making a life changing decision either way. This baby is obviously very much wanted after 3 years of TTC so sharing this with your husband would be helpful.

Nonamesneeded · 15/05/2025 07:48

Hope it all goes well

PinkyFlamingo · 15/05/2025 07:51

£15k? What a pittance. My heart bleeds. 🙄

Agix · 15/05/2025 07:52

Take a look at universal credit with 3 kids.

Universal Credit is designed to bring you up to the minimum income amount for your situation. You can take a look to see if you meet it - if you don't, make a claim.

The mortgage puts a bit of a spanner on the works, as does having more than 2 kids, as UC doesn't take mortgage costs into account nor more than 2 children. You can check where you stand on the minimum income you need for your situation by pretending your mortgage is a rental cost (Housing Association rent specifically) on the online calculator, and pretending all kids were born before 2027, but you wouldn't be able to claim those amounts. Pretending for the calculator is more just so you could see how much less than minimum income needed as stated by government you have with a third kid. But you'd still might be able to claim something even without housing costs & 3rd kid included so have a look. Or call 08001448444 if you want someone to do it for you.

Katemax82 · 15/05/2025 07:54

Heyahun · 04/10/2022 14:52

How is the mortgage gone up so much?? Did you move to a new house or has the interest actually gone up by 20% ??

I knew a woman who's mortgage went up but £400 a month

AstonUniversityPotholeDepartment · 15/05/2025 08:11

This thread was bumped from 2022.

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