Struggling with dog and small baby

[strawberrymilk7]

AIBU to find it a struggle to balance my dog and small baby?

I feel awful I didn't think my feelings for my dog would ever possibly change he was my 'fur baby' but he has now taken a huge drop in the pecking order, baby comes first.

The poor dog I think feels very jealous and is constantly looking for attention. When I am bf my baby the dog tries to sit on me. If it's possible I let him snuggle in beside me when I can with baby but it's not always possible.

I still give him attention when possible but it is no where near the same level.

BTW - I do not neglect the dog he is still well looked after and I do love him just sometimes when he starts barking for attention which wakes the baby I want to cry! Also I don't leave baby and dog alone together but I have zero fear of him hurting baby.

AIBU that the dog doesn't get as much attention?

How did you prepare your dog for baby's arrival?

Its so important that dogs routine stays the same when you bring a baby home, same walks etc anf how you interact with the dog. You don't want any jealousy to form.

E.g. my dog always had a morning walk so even once baby was born we got up, baby in pushchair or sling and out for a walk. Dog is always allowed to lie on sofa next to me as he always was.

It is hard to find the new balance as you have an extra persons needs to fit in to your day.

How old is your baby OP?

I felt awful when my LO was born because I suddenly felt annoyed at my much loved dog for taking up my time and attention. It was very much temporary though, and the feeling eased as my hormones settled down. I have friends who have felt similarly about older children too so don’t feel bad!

The important thing is not to show your annoyance and to keep giving your pet 1:1 attention.

In the family hierarchy your dog just got demoted. That is obviously right and proper that the humans come first.
The problem might be that dog decides to challenge that situation.
Dog cannot challenge you, dog might at some point challenge baby. Consequences of that are always a disaster and can be tragic. Do not give dog a second 'go'. One strike and he leaves.
To remind the dog of his position it must feed after you and other adults and after baby. It must be made to wait its turn.

Good luck with that, you will have to stiffen your sinews. In a few years' time you will be insisting that your child obeys some rules.

I wouldn't let the dog sit / snuggle whilst breastfeeding, as them sitting on you is trying to almost declare you as theirs ( I had this issue when we brought another dog into our family, my dog Duke used to crawl over me when the new dog came up to me for a fuss ) as soon as the dog does it put them on the floor, they will soon learn they can't just sit on you and will have to occupy themselves during baby feeds, so maybe get them some new toys or a nice chew?

The dogs life has also changed, and I think it'll take a little while for everyone to get used to this. Maybe set aside some time that you can have a cuddle with the dog everyday but it's on your terms and not the dogs. If you can't, then that's okay, you are still taking care of them well so try not to get upset about that. The dog will just have to learn to be a dog at times!

I'm expecting too next month and have 3 pooches x

Its hard, I’m on mat leave with my second and my poor dog has been demoted again. I make sure he always gets a good walk, I also find that chew toys are good to distract them (mine also barks / plays up sometimes when I am breastfeeding). Something like a lamb braid that they can work on for a while. Can your partner try to give them a little more attention to take the pressure off you? Or do you have a dog walker? We had one before I was on leave, and kept our dog having one day a week with him, so he can socialise etc and it’s a break for me! Good luck, I’m sure the dog will adapt soon enough. Mine now sleeps on my 3 year olds bed sometimes so he does love her now even tho she disrupted his life!

Baby is 10 weeks now. The dog is looking at me with his big sad puppy eyes right now as I am bf and I can't give him hugs.

When DH is home dog will be on one of us. It prob will get easier in a few weeks.

It's just the guilt. Dog is 9 yr old and used to being the centre of attention. Jealous yes but I am not concerned, obv I don't leave them alone together but he is a very small dog, baby is already heavier