to charge DS the cost of the music lesson he forgot to go to......

[clam]

..... again. Not the first time, I might add. He's 11, in Year 7, and not stupid so I can't see many excuses. What do people think?

yeah I would. Might remember next time then.

How come he didn't go, he just forgot? It will make him think twice about missing it again if you do i suppose, and its not fair for him to assume your made of money. Try it once maybe

I actually caught myself uttering the phrase "money doesn't grow on trees, you know!" Oh God. I've morphed into my mother.

Have you asked him why he missed it?

I only ask because when I first started having music lessons I was given an instrument that I hated - I knew what I wanted to play, but was asked to learn something else. I would do anything to get out of the lessons, and always said that I just forgot to go.

I think I'd ask whether he wanted to carry on first. If the answer is yes, then give him fair warning that if he misses lessons again, you will take the charge from his pocket money.

Do you want him to hate his music lessons?

If he doesn't want to go, maybe it's time to stop. Don't see how making him pay is going to help in any way.

oh clam I feel your pain. i have been so tempted to do this to ds in the past. he was always forgetting.

No, he genuinely does enjoy this instrument (evidence: practises all the time without prompting). I think he actually did just forget, as each week it's at a different time, so they don't always miss the same subject. But he has also forgotten to make us any appointments for parents' evening next week, so chances are all the teachers we want to see will be full up by Monday, so I was already cross with him. But then he is usually well-organised. And he was up late last night performing in the school play. Oh God, maybe IABU...... but it's 10 quid (at least) up the spout. If I let it pass (and I have threatened this 'fine' previously) what message am I giving him?

I just thinmk it makes more sense to say, look you either go every week or you don;t go. So it's about him making the effort if he enjoys it.

We have had that conversation before, though. And this is the 2nd time (although the other time was with the other instrument). Do you think he deserves another chance, then? I'm thinking maybe. Is there a gullible mother emoticon?

I'm fairly soft that way, as I like to skip things somethimes myself. So I'd let him carry on if he wants to.

I'd let him off, and I am Mondo Stricto Mother

are you really stricto, colditz? Never thought of you as whip-cracker

that's because I am UberStricto with a heart of room temperature butter, Pointydog. I'm crap at it. The slightest of lip wobbles and StrictoMum is rapidly replaced by WhimperingHippyMum.

I'd give him another chance accompanied by a bit of a rollocking for forgetting. Then if he did it again, I'd make him pay but as I'm up there with colditz on the whimperinghippymum bit I'd put the money in his bank account without him knowing so at least he still has it but thinks he hasn't iyswim.

I like Celia2's idea. Just got to run it past DH...... He's been so sweet this evening that I feel a complete heel, but that might be the wine talking.

get a cheap digital watch with an alarm. Get him to set the alarm for 5 mins before his music lesson (make sure he does this at home) and wear the watch to school on musicdays. Then hopefully he won't miss any more. I don't think making him pay up will be helpful really, he's probably not forgetting on purpose - year 7's have a lot to remember I think.