To say I’m unwell so can’t go to a birthday

[alwayscake]

I’m on maternity leave and things are very tight now I’ve dropped to statutory pay. My good friend on my birthday came out with me for drinks and a meal so I feel I have to do the same for her.

A surprise meal has been arranged by her best friend and I’m also supposed to go out drinking with her on her actual birthday. This is a few days apart. I can’t choose one I can’t afford to do either.

I’ve had to pay out for things for my baby and it’s left me with nothing. Im struggling with my credit card and i really can’t afford to put anymore on so I’m feeling sick with guilt about not going but also if I do go I’m worried about the financial pressure I’ll be putting on myself.

I was considering saying I’m unwell. AIBU?

And that is precisely the reason that you should be honest with her. She will/ should be aware that lots of people are struggling financially right now.

YABU to lie. Just tell the truth.

Tell her the truth. It’s better than lying and can’t be “got around”.

Suggest something you can do that doesn’t cost money so she knows that you care - a walk or her coming over one day.

Don’t lie. Invite her for coffee and cake at tours or go to hers to celebrate. If she is a good friend she will understand that times are hard and won’t want you getting into debt.