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AIBU?

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Original poster

Jobs for quieter people with a 'gentle' nature

107 replies

Weareunlovedd · 03/10/2022 22:42

This is what I've been told I have, and I am accepting it as a part of me.
I'm currently looking at teaching roles as I have a PGCE, or Civil Service.
I've applied for an ECT role with a deadline of tomorrow, and I'm applying for border force and probation, also ACAS helpline advisor.
I have considered being an officer in a male prison as there's a good starting salary, but first of all I'm worried about the danger element. I don't want boiling water mixed with sugar thrown over me. Secondly, I don't know if I'm 'tough' enough for it.
Not long ago there was a thread on it here, and a female prison officer was complaining there were too many 'young girls' starting and often you needed a 'big bloke' to sort things out, so that put me off.
I know I passed the pgce but I'm worried I'm not strict and firm enough to be a teacher, though I'm willing to try.
I'm in my early 30s but get told I look younger, I'm just worried about not being taken seriously and being seen as inexperienced

OP posts:
SirBlobby · 03/10/2022 23:04

None of the roles you've mentioned immediately strike me as 'gentler' roles. Although I'm not sure it's as simple as that as people behave differently at work/home

LuciaPopp · 03/10/2022 23:14

I can’t think of a less gentle job than prison officer.

Yiu have a OGCE which you presumably worked hard for. I’d stick with that rather than write it off too quickly. There are lots of types of school and lots of ways to be a good teacher- it’s not all about being tough.

RaraRachael · 03/10/2022 23:17

I wouldn't say teaching is s great choice for somebody with a gentle nature. I've seen young students whom I knew would be eaten alive by some classes.

AuntSalli · 03/10/2022 23:20

My eldest daughter is similar and going to have a life of academia. If she hasn’t gone down that route I think she would’ve ended up in an artistic career of some description.

MultiTulip · 03/10/2022 23:23

There’s such a huge gap between the sort of job you want and then the jobs you’re actually considering. It sounds like work with very young children, gardening, some types of public or voluntary sector office work would be better for you. Why are you considering prison officer roles?!

Heartofglass12345 · 03/10/2022 23:24

What about teaching adults?
My friend is an adult tutor who is going to be teaching a healthy lifestyle course to a group of people with learning disabilities, that sounds lovely

surreygirl1987 · 03/10/2022 23:24

I'm quiet and introverted but I love teaching and I'm good at it. There are lots of different types of people who teach.

Hedgesfullofbirds · 03/10/2022 23:27

Gosh OP, I have to agree with @SirBlobby, that none of the occupations that you have mentioned seem a good fit for someone who identifies as being 'quiet with a gentle nature'.

I am biased, of course, since it is my profession - and may totally disinterest you - but have you considered horticulture and gardening, the opportunity to grow and nurture living things in a non confrontational, quiet environment, combined with a healthy and physically active workplace?

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 03/10/2022 23:28

Telesales? Lion tamer? Charity chugger? Probably better suited to quiet people than what you suggested. 🙄

dontblameme · 03/10/2022 23:29

I'd class myself as gentle and didn't do well in teaching. How about nannying? Or like PP said, teaching adults?

DoIDareSayAnything · 03/10/2022 23:30

I always think I could have been a groundskeeper in another life.

I enjoy the physical aspect of gardening and dislike interacting with people much. Which ironically I have to do a lot of in my actual job.

Groundskeeping looks like bliss. Outdoors everyday. Physical labour, so would be fit and strong, maybe an audio book with headphones and most of the groundskeepers I encounter have a dog with them.

I still think about packing my office life in sometimes...but I think my soft squidgy 46 year old body would maybe have something say about it at this point!

SabiRiver · 03/10/2022 23:31

What about care work, working with people with dementia?

DoodlePug · 03/10/2022 23:31

I trained as a counsellor, the training isn't particularly quiet and gentle but the final role can be.

The jobs you've listed sound loud and busy, would you rather work alone? Possibly private tutor or session tutor if teaching is your thing.

Original poster
Weareunlovedd · 03/10/2022 23:34

I do care work but it just doesn't pay enough sadly :( and I'm starting to get frequent back pain
I've also taught adults, some of them did like my style and told me they enjoy my lessons, but some moaned as they wanted someone really engaging, loud and outgoing who played constant games with them and that wasn't my teaching style.
I would like to think that there's a place in teaching for quieter/introverted people.

OP posts:
Couchpotato3 · 03/10/2022 23:34

If you don't fancy mainstream teaching, what about tutoring, or working with children who are missing education due to illness and need one to one support or specialising in special needs education? Have you thought about working in museums (they have outreach roles and might welcome someone with a PGCE?). Library work?
A lot of the jobs you have suggested seem to have quite a high degree of contact and potential confrontation. Perhaps you would be happier in a more behind the scenes role? You can't help looking young for your years (and you'll be glad of it soon enough!) so try not to let that hold you back. Just focus on your strengths and what you enjoy doing and try to find something that is a good fit for that, rather than pushing yourself into a role that isn't a good fit.

Butterflymosaic · 03/10/2022 23:54

If it was only about standing in front of a class and teaching without having to interact with pupils much (lecturing at uni perhaps?!) , you could propvably get away with being a gentle type, as long as you had good voice projection.

However, you need to be tough to be a teacher. Sorry but it’s the truth 🤷🏻‍♀️ Many pupils will sniff a quiet, gentle type teacher out straightaway and act up in response. Pupils expected to be entertained and to have learning brought to them in creative ways. If they are bored, they act up.

You can’t be a friend to pupils, you have to be firm, have boundaries, be strict in a consistent manner and deal well with confrontation Every. Single. Day. Pupils, other staff and parents.

This is whilst also juggling lots of other conflicting priorities like planning, marking, parents evenings, training, after school activities, referrals, reports, tracking & monitoring, pastoral stuff…. There is so much more to it after your PGCE which they don’t really tell you about!

In the kindest way, I don’t think teaching is for you. School librarian or careers advisor perhaps?

coffeeschmoffee · 04/10/2022 00:00

I'm a fairly gentle, introverted person and teaching didn't work out for me either

I work for the civil service now, in one of the "gentler" departments (i.e. not Home Office, Foreign Office or DWP) I love it. CS has so many different types of jobs, am sure you'll find one you like.

HeddaGarbled · 04/10/2022 00:20

Something in an office with minimal exposure to customers: data processing, admin support; IT support; programming; accounts.

Officer in a male prison sounds about as far away from suitable as you could possibly get so I’m intrigued as to why you’re considering it.

You could grow into a successful teacher but it would be good to be brave and act out of your current comfort zone sometimes.

Or you could look to progress in care work, into a management/administrative role.

whoput50penceintheeejit · 04/10/2022 00:25

Montessori teacher

HeddaGarbled · 04/10/2022 00:32

Teaching students with disabilities and learning difficulties either in a school or FE college. Or start as a learning support assistant with the aim to progress to a teaching role. With a teaching qualification and care experience, I think you’d be perfect.

Lieslies · 04/10/2022 15:56

Early years teaching
activities coordinator in a nursing home
Sheltered housing warden
Dog groomer
Gardener
Many office jobs

Hopelessacademic · 04/10/2022 16:47

Agree with others that prison officer sounds terrible!

What about something like student support in a University?
Or counselling?
Agree working with children could work for you, like in a nursery?
Or if you like being outside a forest school?
Or groundkeeper?

Nolongerteaching · 04/10/2022 17:06

Florist

Mammyloveswine · 04/10/2022 17:15

What did you specialise in for your pgse? Why didn't you go down the teacher route in the first place?

Primary teaching in early years suits a gentle nature however depending on the area you do have to be tough especially when dealing with parents.

RewildingAmbridge · 04/10/2022 17:18

Probation is not good for people with a 'gentle nature' you need to be incredibly resilient, robust, be able to deal with the most horrific aspects of society whilst managing a huge caseload and also trying to do the job of underfunded housing and mental health services, and if it all falls apart the responsibility is with the risk management agency not the housing officer.
You also have to handle highly volatile people