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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to the theatre by myself

126 replies

Squirrelsquirrel · 03/10/2022 22:27

I'm happy to do most things by myself. I KNOW that nobody notices, let alone cares.

However, I'm scared to go to the theatre by myself which is stupid because people won't even see me in the dark! I think the interval reminds me school lunchtimes where I'd hide in the toilets bored, because I had no friends. I'd be tempted to do it again. 🤣

There is a musical I really want to see but I have no one to go with.

Tell me how much you enjoy going to the theatre by yourself, especially for exciting, cheerful musicals! Reassure me that if people find out I went by myself they won't pity me as a Billy no mates. Talk me into booking a single ticket and reassure me that lots of people do it but I've just never noticed (because I don't care).

OP posts:
WimpoleHat · 04/10/2022 08:16

Go. Lots of people go alone. I’ve done it many times if I’ve fancied seeing something that nobody else does - and I often see other people who’ve gone solo. No one will bat an eyelid.

gogohmm · 04/10/2022 08:18

I do it all the time, it's fine - I get standby tickets on the night and can get stalls for the price of the upper circle after 6pn

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 04/10/2022 08:20

Clarinet1 · 03/10/2022 22:42

Off course you should go! Just “Whistle a Happy Tune”, Do
some “Getting to Know You” and maybe even “Kiss in a Shadow”.

And OP will have done 'Something Wonderful' to conquer her fear and go by herself.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 04/10/2022 08:21

WeneedSamVimesonthecase · 03/10/2022 22:54

Actually my retirement plan, should I outlive DH, is to move to London and go to All The Matinees. Alone.

Having had a decent lunch beforehand.

MajorCarolDanvers · 04/10/2022 08:34

I go to the theatre all the time by myself.

No one pays me the slightest bit if attention.

Take your phone up browse during the interval.

You have the added advantage of being able to get brilliant seats when by yourself - eg end of aisle etc. great bargains to be had.

CornishTiger · 04/10/2022 08:41

I can’t even imagine others would notice that you were on your own. If they did then so what?

Soozikinzii · 04/10/2022 08:43

There are often people on their own at musicals when we go in fact the last musical we went to we were chatting with the bloke next to us on the front row and he'd got his ticket for less then half we'd paid because it was an odd seat .It's a great way to see lots of shows really cheaply.

Choconut · 04/10/2022 08:44

Yes definitely go on your own! Definitely don't try striking up conversation with people around you.

M0rT · 04/10/2022 08:45

I think I look like I'm on my own when with my DH at the theatre as he takes his seat and looks at his phone until curtain rise!
All I ever have time for at interval is the loo with the queues.
This could be the beginning of a lovely new hobby!

Ponoka7 · 04/10/2022 08:45

I go on my own a lot. The theatre is the easiest place to do that because very often only one person will go to the bar, so no-one will notice. If you're in a couple then you don't go to the toilet together etc. The interval isn't long enough to have to hide anywhere. I go from Liverpool to London by myself to just go to the theatre.

BaronessBomburst · 04/10/2022 08:51

I used to get season tickets for Poole Arts Centre and sometimes booked plays at random. It was great fun as I never knew what to expect.

BiddyPop · 04/10/2022 08:53

Pre covid, as I am the only 1 who enjoys straight plays or musicals in my house, went once a year to something on my own. I really enjoyed it, far more on my own than in company of someone who didn't want to be there.

Dh doesn't want to come to a concert I've been given tickets for this week, no one else I know is particularly into the performer (someone else can't use their tickets but I'm quite happy to go) so it's quite likely I will go alone.

For more quiet straight plays, I bring a book in my bag and decide between reading over my interval coffee/G&T or scrolling by the phone. Often I end up striking up conversation with someone else alone or someone chats while waiting for their partner coming back from the loo and sometimes they both continue while sometimes I am only boredom relief.

But I've never felt lonely or like others are laughing.

Chooksnroses · 04/10/2022 08:55

When I was single I often went to the theatre alone. Just take a book to read in the interval, it passes the time!

butterfliedtwo · 04/10/2022 08:57

cathyandclare · 03/10/2022 22:30

I genuinely think the theatre is one of the very best things to do alone, I've seen many shows and plays on my own while waiting for the kids. I just read through the programme/ have an ice-cream or a glass of wine at the interval. Enjoy !

Agree with this. I used to go on my own. It was absolutely fine.

Blowthemandown · 04/10/2022 09:02

@Squirrelsquirrel I saw that with Yul Brynner at the Palladium. Swoon. GO! And come back and tell us all about it 😍😍

HaveringWavering · 04/10/2022 09:04

I did it the other night, went to catch Dear Evan Hansen before it closed.

Reasons:
I live in London, there's so much on I could never see everything I wanted to and find a suitable companion for every one
If DH came we'd need a babysitter
I HATE analysing the show in the interval. I just like to internalise my thoughts
Tickets are pricy if you're not sure your companion would love the show, and that's stressful if you were the one who picked it
It's faffy and stressful meeting up with someone beforehand, esp if you need to eat.
Not to mention finding a mutually convenient date in the first place.
For this one, I had been listening to the soundtrack for months and knew all the words, DH wasn't fussed about it.

Don't get me wrong, I love a theatre trip to the right show with the right person. And after a long many years as a single person I feel completely different doing this with a husband and child to go home to than I did when I had an empty flat to go back to (still did it though!).

Original poster
Squirrelsquirrel · 04/10/2022 14:59

I really wish we could get cheap tickets. As I say though, both theatres by me would rather be half empty than offer a discount.

I went to a comedy show (with someone else) and there were 12 other people in this big theatre. They made us all sit at the front so he didn't have to use the mic. He was awful and it was so awkward becsuse you felt you had to laugh and be really encouraging. 2 people didn't come back after the interval and obviously he noticed but he thought they were just late coming back so waited for them before finally realising (seemingly hours after everyone else) that they weren't coming back. You could almost see his already damaged confidence drop further. The person I was with is convinced she saw him on a TV quiz show a few months later. I hope she did because he was awful but maybe he was just having a really, really bad night.

OP posts:
NewbietoSE3 · 04/10/2022 15:14

I used to go every Saturday to a matinee by myself, before I had a partner. I found the matinee (as opposed to Friday or Saturday night) a very suitable time to go alone. No-one batted an eyelid and in the interval you've barely time for loo and bar before you're called back to your seat.

Enjoy it!

BirdinaHedge · 04/10/2022 15:36

I always go to the theatre by myself because I go a LOT and it means I don’t have to have an instant opinion or if it’s baaad feel like I need to apologise to my companion.

so go!!!

I think it’s really sad the way that many people (me included) have a tendency not to do things on our own. It’s easy to miss out on some wonderful experiences

balalake · 04/10/2022 15:58

Go, loads go by themselves, and much better than taking someone who does not enjoy musicals.

IglesiasPiggl · 04/10/2022 16:02

I used to go on my own as a student. I didn't want to miss the best bargains by having to factor in other people's availability. Definitely go!

Cantthinkofanewnameatm · 04/10/2022 16:06

It’s weird isn’t it? I can’t go to the cinema alone, yet the theatre, ballet, museums, workshops I’m happy as Larry. I think when you’ve done it once you’ll be fine.
And when I can face the 40 mile round trip to a cinema I’ll go see a film! ( alone)

PanPacificBallroomChampion · 04/10/2022 16:17

eyeteevee · 04/10/2022 07:57

@PanPacificBallroomChampion

But not everyone feels like this and are very personable and polite to others.

Did you actually just suggest I am neither perosn ale nor polite because I would not enjoy talking to a stranger at the theatre?

Im actually autistic (I did mention this already) so my ability to communicate dips in highly stressful situations such as going to the theatre alone. I love the theatre, but it takes so much out of me - I'm anxious, hyper aware of my surroundings, trying not to get in peoples way (also clumsy) and generally on high alert. It's very hard but worth it for the experience.

Please don't assume that makes me any less polite than anyone else, I'm just not able to add small talk into that situation.

@eyeteevee I’m sorry that my comment has upset you so much but having not read everything you have ever posted I did not know you were autistic but that said, if we ended up sat next to each other in a theatre can you tell me how exactly I would know not to speak to you? Do you wear a badge with ‘I am autistic, don’t speak to me’ on it. Obviously I’m not going to turn to the person beside me and grill them with questions or start telling them my life story but I might possibly comment on how good the show is or just ask if they’re enjoying the show neither are intrusive and it’s fair to say from the response I’ll gauge whether the conversation would develop or not. If they were engrossed in the programme or their phone during interval I’d leave them be. Some people are going to the theatre on their own because they literally have no one to go with and welcome the interaction. I’m not going to ignore the lone person sat beside me because they might be autistic, I’d rather hear back ‘I’m happy not to chat’ or something like that than blank someone potentially likeminded.

eyeteevee · 04/10/2022 17:39

I’m sorry that my comment has upset you so much

Don't be so patronising Hmm

PanPacificBallroomChampion · 04/10/2022 18:04

eyeteevee · 04/10/2022 17:39

I’m sorry that my comment has upset you so much

Don't be so patronising Hmm

@eyeteevee You responded to my comment, it appeared to upset you, part of that was because I didn’t realise that you were autistic. I reply that I’m sorry that my comment has upset you and ask how would I know that the person beside me was autistic and explain the circumstances that I would and wouldn’t chat to someone in the theatre. Confirming that if they were engaged in something, their response was negative I would leave them alone. And your take is that I’m patronising you! I wouldn’t have included the word sorry if I wasn’t but based on your reply, So I take it back. I’m not sorry that my comment appeared to upset you. I was pointing out a different opinion to yours, no more, no less. You should sort out that chip on your shoulder and get yourself that ‘ don’t talk to me badge’.

@Squirrelsquirrel I apologise to you for this difference of opinion on your post, I just (originally) wanted to point out that some people are happy to chat but I see that subsequently you posted that this isn’t something you would necessarily do.