Page 2 | Is this a weird age difference?!

RelationshipAdvice93 · 2022-10-03T21:25:21+00:00

So a friend of mine (female) has recently gone from dating men to dating women, however her latest relationship is slightly weirding me out because of the ages… I don’t mind an age difference (there is 10 years between my other friend and her partner) but my friend is late 20’s and this new woman she is talking to is 20… there is roughly around 8 years difference between the 2 of them, but the woman has only just turned 20 so has only just stopped being a teenager whereas my friend is nearly 30 years old… I just can’t get my head around it because it feels slightly pervy… AIBU?!

knittingaddict · 04/10/2022 04:57

Of course it's not weird. Quite weird to think it's though.

knittingaddict · 04/10/2022 04:59

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 03/10/2022 22:36

I don’t like it. Those ages are in totally different times of life. What could they possibly have in common?

Mumsnet in general seems to be very defensive of age gap relationships.

Defensive or living in the real world where an age gap of 8 years is nothing?

mountainsunsets · 04/10/2022 07:16

I don't think an eight year age gap is weird but I can't imagine wanting to date a 20 year old at almost 30 😬

cooolio · 04/10/2022 08:47

Old? 😅 you're 28!

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 04/10/2022 08:57

I don’t think there an issue with the age gap you described.

what i do find weird is someone I knows ex husband who is 48 and now has a 21 year old girl friend (who he has impregnated moved in with). She’s younger than some of his kids. A 20 year old and a 28 year old is nothing to get excited about.

StarlightLady · 04/10/2022 09:39

Back in my early 20s I dated a 30 year old. In my early 30s I dated someone in their early 20s. Their gender is irrelevant. But I can't help wondering if people would be asking the same question if it wasn't an all female couple.

x2boys · 04/10/2022 09:51

Outside of the world of mumsnet where all teenagers do Alevels and the go to university no its not weird .

Newuser82 · 04/10/2022 09:53

I think it's totally fine. There is a similar age gap between me and my husband and not one person has ever commented on it.

AuntSalli · 04/10/2022 09:55

My ex-husband‘s new wife’s son is 30 and dating an 18-year-old and they’re all absolutely fine with it, personally it feels like bordering on paedophilia because she looks 12.

I totally agree OP its not about the 8 years, its which 8 years.

zingally · 04/10/2022 10:29

No, it's fine.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 04/10/2022 12:26

AuntSalli · 04/10/2022 09:55

My ex-husband‘s new wife’s son is 30 and dating an 18-year-old and they’re all absolutely fine with it, personally it feels like bordering on paedophilia because she looks 12.

I totally agree OP its not about the 8 years, its which 8 years.

Ewwww, what a nasty comment. Says more about you than him!

garlictwist · 04/10/2022 14:16

I was 30 when I got together with DH who was 21 at the time. Been together 11 years now and I never notice the age gap.

Oysterbabe · 04/10/2022 14:27

I think you have some suppressed homophobia, which is the real reason you feel uncomfortable about this relationship.

Cas112 · 04/10/2022 16:40

Your the only one making it weird

Novum · 04/10/2022 16:42

My father is 9 years older than my mother. There is nothing at all pervy about their relationship.

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 04/10/2022 16:50

AuntSalli · 04/10/2022 09:55

My ex-husband‘s new wife’s son is 30 and dating an 18-year-old and they’re all absolutely fine with it, personally it feels like bordering on paedophilia because she looks 12.

I totally agree OP its not about the 8 years, its which 8 years.

The fact that she looks 12 (in your opinion) is neither here nor there. She's not 12 and not a child.
If she'd been the same age ,18, but looked 24 would that have been OK by you?

Ridiculous.

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 04/10/2022 16:53

I think the rule of thumb is half your age plus 7 years.

Whose rule of thumb? What a ridiculously random idea.

AuntSalli · 04/10/2022 17:01

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 04/10/2022 16:50

The fact that she looks 12 (in your opinion) is neither here nor there. She's not 12 and not a child.
If she'd been the same age ,18, but looked 24 would that have been OK by you?

Ridiculous.

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It looks weird. And it is weird. She’s about 3 foot tall, speaks like Alice out of the Vicar of Dibley. Literally left school in April, he was there with her when she collected are A-level results I mean I’m not being funny but it’s not what you want for your daughter ? I’d be bloody disgusted if it was my son.

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 04/10/2022 17:11

3 foot tall ? Really?

Aren't short women or women with high voices allowed to have adult boyfriends? Should she be dating a 10 year old?
As far as I'm aware, Alice in VoD was a grown woman.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 04/10/2022 17:14

AuntSalli · 04/10/2022 17:01

It looks weird. And it is weird. She’s about 3 foot tall, speaks like Alice out of the Vicar of Dibley. Literally left school in April, he was there with her when she collected are A-level results I mean I’m not being funny but it’s not what you want for your daughter ? I’d be bloody disgusted if it was my son.

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DO grow up! You sound a bit jealous of her actually. DO you fancy him or something? Or are you just being extra nasty because you're bitter about your husband being with a new woman? (You said it's your ex husband's new wife's adult son!') I also don't understand what the F it has to do with you.

mountainsunsets · 04/10/2022 17:26

AuntSalli · 04/10/2022 17:01

It looks weird. And it is weird. She’s about 3 foot tall, speaks like Alice out of the Vicar of Dibley. Literally left school in April, he was there with her when she collected are A-level results I mean I’m not being funny but it’s not what you want for your daughter ? I’d be bloody disgusted if it was my son.

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Alice was an adult who got married and had a child, though.

What she looks/sounds like is irrelevant, really. She wasn't a child.

AutumnScream · 04/10/2022 17:29

This thread comes across as massively homophobic. There is nothing weird about two people in their 20s dating at all.

Oh and fyi a year ago she was an adult. And guess what? The year before that she was also an adult.

lborgia · 04/10/2022 17:36

I think it makes a difference that it's 20 and nearly 30.

When they get to 30 and 40, they will both have had a decent amount of life experience, but I can understand you getting a bit of shock from her now dating women, and this particular woman being so young.

You're allowed to feel startled, if that's all it is. If it's the fact that she is a she, then that's different.

I know I'd actually feel far more squeamish if it was a man, because I have a son nearly that age, so to me that seems really strange.

Just love her, be her friend, and let her be! Keep your judgement for mn!

RandomMusings7 · 04/10/2022 17:39

mountainsunsets · 04/10/2022 07:16

I don't think an eight year age gap is weird but I can't imagine wanting to date a 20 year old at almost 30 😬

This is my stance too.

20 to me is still a child pretty much. 28-29 is a functional adult who's at a whole different stage in life.

It's on the verge of (but not quite) weird.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 04/10/2022 17:43

AutumnScream · 04/10/2022 17:29

This thread comes across as massively homophobic. There is nothing weird about two people in their 20s dating at all.

Oh and fyi a year ago she was an adult. And guess what? The year before that she was also an adult.

Nice reach there, don't strain yourself.

@knittingaddict What point do you think you're making here? I also live in the same world as you, I know it happens all the time. I don't like it, and I, and the OP, are entitled to our opinions.