People constantly saying they can't imagine me doing things

[Weareunlovedd]

I've heard people say a couple of times that they can't imagine me listening to X genre of music, one bloke said he'd have thought I liked pop, based on what I don't know 🙄
I was invited to a gig and a woman I don't know said about me, "Oh I can't imagine her liking that sort of music."
I've been told I "don't look like a clubber." This was during coffee on a date in the middle of the afternoon. Do they walk round wearing hotpants and stilettos or something?
Work in teaching and people 'can't imagine me being a teacher/can't Imagine me telling off children.'
It's just a weird thing to say, I can't accurately Imagine them doing their jobs either because I've never seen them doing it in person, doesn't mean I don't think they're suited to it.
A friend told me she "Can't imagine me being a Mum" I've never told her that I dislike children or anything like that so I really don't know what it was based on.
Anyway I get this a lot. According to them, I should be some sort of dowdy librarian who doesn't go out and only listens to classical music!
It's just weird and I don't really know how to react. A lot of it is quite narrow-minded and just lacking in imagination. I'm quiet and introverted which is why they're saying these things.
Would this get on anyone else's nerves? How could I react?

Yes
I think that goes on a lot.

I definitely think this gets said to quiet people more often.

I've had it quite a few times as I am quiet in nature - I've moved abroad alone twice, and love adrenaline activities such as bungy jumping and I always get the 'I didn't expect that/you don't look the type/I can't imagine that' type comments!! It's like you can't have a personality if you are not loud

For me it was a mix of put downs when I was younger, I survived them by believing in myself and knowing in my perspectives, I was at least attempting to achieve my aims and objectives.

I think they really believe we sit in every night with a book and hot cocoa (not that there's anything wrong with that!)

I really don't think it's a judgement. Quieter people are, by their very nature, more difficult to talk to than the more chatty folk. So when taking to a quiet person you're left with the choice of standing in silence (which some people might be comfortable with, but most aren't) or doing most of the talking. When you're doing most of the talking, it's not always easy to keep coming up with things to say, so sometimes you just end up saying things that you don't really mean, just to fill the silence. I'm not saying it's an ideal way to act, but it's a situation I find myself in sometimes when taking to quieter people. They just don't give enough back for the conversation to follow easily, so sometimes I might say something like that, not at all in judgement, but just to find something to say in a stilted conversation.

Possible retorts:

"Thanks for the label....... shall we talk about your faults now?"

"Have you always been this rude?" or "Do you realise you are being rude?"

"Yes, the quiet ones are the worst, ha ha" (while looking evil)

I get it too OP. I best not tell them I'm into swingers activities too or that might make their head expload 🤯😆

I get it…I’m quite quiet and fairly calm but have still had a good time in life 🤣years ago when I smoked, people used to be so shocked and say they couldn’t imagine me being a smoker. Also to the being a mum thing (before I had my Dd) two friends/acquaintances were shocked I was a Sagittarius as they’re usually *So crazy etc (their words)
I’m probably just a dark horse as I’ve done years of things when younger that would make their heads swivel 😂
It is really annoying though..,like if you’re more reserved, you don’t have a personality or life…whereas some of the loudest people are frankly, some of the dullest I’ve met in life

This has happened to me since having DC. It's pathetic. I work in an industry where people have kids later, and so none of my colleges have any. People who meet me since DC are amazed that I used to smoke or that I like doing certain sports. I don't get it, it's like they have pigeon holed me without bothering to know me.

My best one so far was paying for petrol and the young lad behind the counter asked if I was driving my son’s car… as if someone in their late 30s couldn’t have an imported & modified sports car 🏎

years ago when I smoked, people used to be so shocked and say they couldn’t imagine me being a smoker.

I used to get the opposite - I remember more than one person being surprised I didn’t smoke as apparently I ‘look like a smoker’!

"Ah yes, not only do I like Linkin Park-but I also engage in fancy dress dogging on wednesday nights and a little wild owl stretching of a weekend...

Theyre idiots!

I am pretty bookish /nerdy...

Some people are surprised at my early punk /indie music collection and my concert going history...

They always seem to assume I am home listening to chamber music while eating caviar... 😂.

Many colleagues have assumed I have a private education. I went to one of the worst comprehensives at the time...

I used to get this a lot from one friend.

Apparently, even though (or perhaps because) we had grown up together, she could not imagine me - decorating my house, travelling the world, doing my job, and various other things that I HAD ALREADY DONE. So it's not as if it was a discussion as to whether I was capable. We are no longer friends, party because I found her attitude to me so patronising.

I've decided if it arises again with anyone else I'll be advising them to work on their imaginative skills.

I get this a lot about one aspect of my life (“Gosh, you don’t seem like a lesbian”).
If they say “

Weird, half the message didn’t post.

If they say “I can’t imagine…” say “Gosh, can’t you? I think that’s more about you than it is about me.”
And believe it — it doesn’t mean anything about you at all.

I used to teach with a very gentle, quiet woman who was, I was amazed to discover, a Trekkie who attended conventions and also a great fan of Ramstein and other very heavy metal bands.

People say a lot of stupid stuff. I have heard a fair share of comments like that.
They can't imagine me being a mother (I have a few kids), or driving (I passed my test first time many years ago and haven't had a single incident since) or people can't imagine me running. I run marathons for fun ffs!

Or get annoyed at the person for not matching their stereotype?

I've had the same sort of things - people shocked when I swear etc. Because I'm quiet, you didn't think I could swear?🤔 one person once said to me 'you're not very quiet for a quiet person'. Well duh, when I'm relaxed and come out of my shell, I do talk and have a personality. They think it's a 24/7 thing. Nope, I'm just introverted and will relax when I feel comfortable around someone!