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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this sad?

26 replies

NurseryNurse10 · 03/10/2022 21:58

That so many nurseries I have worked in do not want you cuddling the babies? I find it so sad that parents are not aware of this.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 03/10/2022 22:00

What age of babies and do you mean if they are upset?

FayeGovan · 03/10/2022 22:01

Aww they all need a wee cuddle now and then. Why dont they promote this?

Youdoyoutoday · 03/10/2022 22:02

Eh? That sounds mean.

How do comfort a crying baby or rock them to sleep?

Oysterbabe · 03/10/2022 22:02

How horrible. Definitely not the case at the nursery my kids went to.

youlooklikeapenis · 03/10/2022 22:03

I wouldn't have put my son in anywhere I knew wouldn't cuddle him. Often when I turn up he's being cuddled or carried around.

Looneytune253 · 03/10/2022 22:03

That's not even true. Some schools might not let you cuddle the nursery children but never ever babies. Even when a nursery worker isn't allowed in a school environment it's usually accepted when a child is in distress for some reason

Original poster
NurseryNurse10 · 03/10/2022 22:04

I mean at all. Crying or not.
Babies aged between 3 months to 2 years.
Babies are just tapped on the back to sleep. Told off if you try and cuddle them. It's so depressing.

OP posts:
Iliveonahill · 03/10/2022 22:05

NurseryNurse10 · 03/10/2022 22:04

I mean at all. Crying or not.
Babies aged between 3 months to 2 years.
Babies are just tapped on the back to sleep. Told off if you try and cuddle them. It's so depressing.

Why are you not allowed to cuddle them?

Original poster
NurseryNurse10 · 03/10/2022 22:06

@Looneytune253 Why are you accusing me of lying? I have been in over 10 nurseries and only 2 allowed it.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 03/10/2022 22:06

Is it a self sooth strategy?

JudgeRindersMinder · 03/10/2022 22:06

These bonkers policies are why my ds went to a childminder not a nursery

Hugasauras · 03/10/2022 22:07

Not our nursery thankfully! There's always babies being cuddled when I drop off DD. And she's 3 and gets a cuddle if she needs one!

Original poster
NurseryNurse10 · 03/10/2022 22:07

Been told that they get to used to being cuddled, that they will have their physical development ruined and that they will become spoilt.
All absolutely ridiculous reasons.

OP posts:
Looneytune253 · 03/10/2022 22:07

I stand by my comments. There's no way that's allowed in a nursery with young children.

Original poster
NurseryNurse10 · 03/10/2022 22:08

Not a self soothe method. Just a stupid way of thinking.

OP posts:
CuriousCatfish · 03/10/2022 22:08
Hmm
SquigglePigs · 03/10/2022 22:09

They definitely cuddle them at DD's nursery. There is a window from the car park and when she was in the baby room I could see and they were often cuddling her when I picked her up. I dropped her off the other day and one little girl was snuggled in her keyworkers lap having a cuddle and a little cry and this is the age 3-4 pre-school room.

I agree with you that it's really sad if they don't allow it, and I would have thought it goes against EYFS guidance for little ones. It's by no means all nurseries though.

Original poster
NurseryNurse10 · 03/10/2022 22:10

Cool @Looneytune253 I guess it's all in my imagination then?

OP posts:
ThisShitsBananas · 03/10/2022 22:11

My baby gets cuddled loads at nursery. And he goes to a chain nursery that doesn’t have the greatest reputation!

iekanda · 03/10/2022 22:11

What a scary, anti-natural way to look after babies.

CuriousCatfish · 03/10/2022 22:12

NurseryNurse10 · 03/10/2022 22:10

Cool @Looneytune253 I guess it's all in my imagination then?

I think it probably is.

SkirridHill · 03/10/2022 22:12

This was not the case at my DD's nursery. Children were regularly held and cuddled, particularly when they were upset. At nap time they were put into cots/prams and whilst encouraged to self-soothe, they would not have been left to cry.

Original poster
NurseryNurse10 · 03/10/2022 22:13

@CuriousCatfish I must have dreamt the last few months then.

OP posts:
Thehop · 03/10/2022 22:14

I’ve done 20 years in nurseries. Just choose loving ones. I visited one with a very strict affection policy and knew I wouldn’t let two minutes. I’m a cuddler and I’d want my babies loved, so that’s how I look after babies in my care.

just remember you can choose where to work lovely, and choose somewhere that fits your approach x

ThorsMistress · 03/10/2022 22:17

My DS is always cuddling the nursery manager. He quite often sits on her lap for a cuddle. They eat lunch together and she quite often has to bring him out to the car because he won’t leave! 😂