Ex told our 7 year old that I "had lots of money"...

[ABrotherWhoLooksLikeHellMugYou]

WIBU to call and read him the fucking riot act?

I have no idea how or why this came up, trying to get details put of a 7 year old is like making sense of my DP's handwriting - you can only make out about a third of it but you get the overall gist.

She was obvs rather uncomfortable and wanting my reassurance, which I gave.

For the record I earn slightly less than my ex, he pays the bare minimum of child maintenance based on his salary and doesn't take account of his second job in the calculations. I am fortunate enough to be a homeowner because our original deposit was a gift from my parents and he chwated 6 months after buying so nobody felt he should benefit from it. I have now bought a new house with my new partner in a nice area and Ex is apparently feeling bitter enough to slate me to our 7 year old.

The fact he pisses money up the wall on the regular (it's amazing how much money you can waste on that age old mumsnet husband hobby and multiple foreign holidays) whilst I scrimp and save for big things like a house is not apparently something he is considering.

I'm sure his side of the story goes that my parents are rich (they aren't, just average baby boomers who took out a lifetime mortgage on their house to give us some money for a deposit when we couldn't afford it) and he was oh so generous letting me have all the furniture when he left and he's had to rent which is more expensive etc. but quite frankly whoever is the hardest done by you do NOT slate your child's other parent to your child.

So, mumsnet, I am itching to call him and have a right funking go at home. I have bitten my tongue over and over and been the bigger person since his affair and I am sick of not telling him what I think of him.

IABU - time to take it on the chin (again) and maybe quietly mention something along the lines of not discussing finances with the kids as they worry, but only when I've calmed down

YANBU - how very fucking dare he? Arsehole. Give him what for right now.

He'll probably be pleased that you're so pissed off by his comments. Don't give him the pleasure!

I would suggest a polite but firm message, but it's unlikely to change anything. Just let it lie.

I'd be wondering:

1: What exactly did he say and how sure are you that your 7 year old is telling you the conversation verbatim?
2: If your ex was telling your child that you have lots of money, what is your child worried about? (Do you mean he was saying you are rich and he is poor and struggling in comparison?)

Either way, I would mention that it is very inappropriate to discuss adult financial affairs with children, but I'd personally want to be sure of the above points, particularly number one, before "exploding".

I wouldn't give him the satisfaction, silence is your biggest weapon.

My exH would love me to show any interest in his life, any indication that I care what he does and I give him nothing, drives him nuts.

^ this. Maybe you DO have plenty of money compared to his lying cheating self … 😁

I do have lots more, but that's because a) I am better ar managing my money and b)and not also forking out for my partners kids, like he is. Because he's a mug and it makes him feel better to blame me no doubt.

7 year is accurate. Think she was mostly worried at being dragged into grown up matters, i also suspect he was whining about how little money he has. If he knew I knew what he said he would be shamefaced. I know he knows better.

I feel better for ranting on mumnset. I'll embarrass him with this in a week or two when I can be icily calm and make a pointed comment at pick up.

Honestly.. i wouldn't even mention it..

Tell Dd we are fine for money because i watch what i spend and work hard.

Anything he knows has got a response will just make him know he bothered you