AIBU to be annoyed at family taking 11 days to respond to an invite for Xmas dinner?

[Burgerbite28]

I'm on a group chat with 3 family members, 2 cousins and their mother, my aunt.

I messaged the chat asking what they were planning for Christmas and if they had no plans they were welcome to come to mine. I am the only family member with DC.

They all read the message but did not respond until today, 11 days later! One of my cousins has written a cheeky reply saying they will come for free food. Other two haven't responded. The weekend after I had messaged, they were all together as son and mother were going together to visit their daughter/sister for the weekend so I can't see how it wouldn't have been discussed not why it's taken so long to reply either.

AIBU to feel annoyed at the time it's taken them to respond?

Maybe it’s too early for them to decide what they’re doing yet?

It's quite early to be making plans for a lot of people.

It's October. The 3rd.

I think it’s a bit early to be planning Christmas dinner tbh. I know if I were invited I’d need to check what plans were in place for my in-laws, I’d also need to see my own time off to see when I’d be spending time at home and think about the other holiday days. We have a big extended family on both sides, some of whom travel home and the Christmas break is the only time we see them so it’s not as simple as accepting the first invite if that means potentially not seeing others at all.

I’d probably acknowledge the invite and explain I couldn’t accept/decline until nearer the time.

The way you’ve phrased it in your post makes it sound more like an open offer than something which requires a prompt RSVP. Maybe they read it, didn’t have the answer and as it’s on read it slipped their mind. Why not just message saying that you’d like to know by X date if they’re planning on visiting at Christmas?

Thanks for your responses guys, to clarify we usually have Xmas together and take turn about between 3 houses. Its probably 4 years since I've hosted.

It’s too early for most people.

I agree with everything Jellycats said, and also ToastoftheTown

In that case I’d probably not think you needed a quick reply because you were just confirming the usual arrangements and saying it’s your turn to host.

I get that it's early but what are they waiting for - a better offer? Would they respond on Christmas Eve to say yeah that's great thanks, see you tomorrow?
Maybe clarify with them that you think it's probably your turn to host and you'll be getting on planning (seeing as you've also got children to cater for, need to order from Marks, whatever) as soon as you know from them if they're coming

Ok, maybe I am overthinking it! 🙈

We are a small family but they have become increasingly distant since the elder generation passed away, and the lack of response even to say they weren't sure what they were doing yet just threw me a bit 😕

You don’t make it sound like you are bothered about a quick reply

Also I wouldn’t issue an invitation where you need a clear response by WhatsApp, ask people individually, so they aren’t worrying about other people on the chat.

It might be a bit early for them to make a decision.
But they could have acknowledged it with a thank you, not sure yet, will let you know by x.
If by the time it gets Turkey / food ordering stage they haven't committed either way, message to explain that you need to plan and if you don't hear by x I'll assume you aren't coming. Then proceed with your plans without them. I've had this with my siblings. It's annoying but tbf beginning of October is very early .

If I’m 2 months they still haven’t responded I would say you would be reasonable to be questioning it but it’s only October! I haven’t even begun to think about Christmas yet.