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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel guilty that an ex has cancer

4 replies

Quintillas · 03/10/2022 13:50

AIBU to feel a little guilty that I am not still with my ex and able to care for them? He got cancer about two years after I ended the relationship (of five years). Clearly, it is not my fault, but I can't help but feel a little bad that he is unwell and reliant on his parents to look after him, having moved back home.

I almost feel as if I should have been there to care for him. We have been no contact since I dumped him, as it was fairly devastating for him. It was very much of a 'I fell out of love, but they still loved me' situation.

OP posts:
RoseAndRose · 03/10/2022 13:55

Cancer diagnoses bring up difficult emotions, whether it's you who is ill, one of your family, or in this case your ex.

You haven't done anything to feel guilty about. I suggest you acknowledge what you are feeling and then let it pass. As it's been 2 years, do not be tempted to get back in touch

Sunnyqueen · 03/10/2022 14:26

Don't try and make it about you, it's not.

phishy · 03/10/2022 14:55

Men don’t think like this. They don’t think ‘I should care for the ex-girlfriend I dumped 2 years go.’

I despair for women sometimes.

Whadda · 03/10/2022 14:56

Sunnyqueen · 03/10/2022 14:26

Don't try and make it about you, it's not.

I was going to say the same thing.

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