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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AMIBU For Expecting Help with These Things?

6 replies

Mumma201 · 03/10/2022 06:41

Am I being unreasonable for asking my fiance to be more present with the children. We currently have two children DD1 (2.5Yrs) and DD2 (10mths), when DD1 was born he was very present and invested, had a great connection to her. Since my pregnancy with DD2 that has wavered massively and I find myself doing 80% of everything for the children and housework. I am a SAHM so don't mind doing the majority of housework but even when he is home he doesn't attempt to interact with the children so I can actually complete a job and as soon as I do start a job he is saying to DD2 'where's mummy' in an attempt to get me back as when she cries she wants boob. I have expressed how I feel and what I would like from him but it seems to have fallen of deaf ears. We're meant to be getting marries soon and I never have an opportunity longer than 10 minutes maybe three times a week to be alone which I use to shower (before everyone piles into the bathroom with me) so I have no time to plan the wedding either.

OP posts:
hellosunshineagainxxx · 03/10/2022 06:44

Don't get married to this lazy waste of space. Your children deserve better how sad that their Dad doesn't want to spend time with them

Everydaywheniwakeup · 03/10/2022 06:45

Yanbu. And you say "We currently have two children" - you appear to have 3 and I certainly wouldn't have another with him.

Workinghardeveryday · 03/10/2022 06:47

You need to put your foot down today.

sit him down, explain how unbalanced this all is. Tell him he is disrespecting you, that you aren’t a cleaner/nanny/cook/laundrette.

make a list of his and your jobs, times he has kids etc.

don’t end up like me !!

lannistunut · 03/10/2022 06:48

Yanbu, he sounds pretty useless.

KangarooKenny · 03/10/2022 06:49

Knowing what he is like, do you actually want to be married to him, or do you ever think that life would be easier without him ?

Wfhandbored · 03/10/2022 06:51

He's a dick. Sorry to say. The whole 'where's mummy' thing is such manipulation as well. He's making you feel guilty for not being attached to the kids. He may work but he can separate from work 2 days a week. You can't and it's emotionally exhausting to not even get ten mins to shower alone. He needs to sort this before resentment builds.

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