I think DP might have a thing for someone at work

[Ladgrags]

This has been playing on my mind for a few weeks now.
she’s worked there a few months, she’s young, attractive, so is he.there’s a bigish age gap between me and DP(I’m older). We have a 5 month old baby.
he has a bit of mentionitis about her I think. Although this could be me just being more sensitive to her name being mentioned. He talks about work a fair bit and the people he works with.
i spotted her name in his TikTok inbox before. She’d ‘reacted to a message’. Now I know he’s good friends with a lot of people he works with but this one is irritating me a bit.
im not the jealous type, and we have a good relationship. But it’s niggling at me…
do I ask him if I should be worried about this?

No. I wouldn't ask.
You don't seem to have any evidence at all - are you maybe just feeling a bit bluesy since having the baby?

There’s no evidence for it though is there? So no, I wouldn’t ask, because you will sound a bit mad. You probably aren’t feeling your hottest right now - cut yourself some slack, assume the best of your partner unless you have a solid reason not to, and make sure you make time to look after yourself as well as the baby.

I feel better than I have in a very long time, tbh.
I just can’t shake the feeling I should be worried…

He’s still loving, attentive, thoughtful etc so I’m not worried about that side

Sounding like a crazy woman is a big concern for me!!

I wouldn't.

I am married and from time to time have had a crush on someone at work. I've never done anything about it. But it does sometimes happen, and I think I would feel kind of embarrassed if I thought my dh had noticed or said anything.

I just don't think it would make you feel better to ask, obviously if he's being dishonest, he'd fib anyway. And you don't have any reason to think he is being dishonest.

Mentionitis is dangerous ground

if you then mention it, they’ll stop 🛑

I’d love to know what the message was that was sent…

And wonder why they’re messaging at the weekend

Start being suspicious if he starts taking his phone with him everywhere, smiles while texting, becomes distant etc. Don’t ask now, it might be nothing.

He’s admitted to me that he had a crush on someone from work a while ago(before we met) and now they’re good friends. He’s an honest man. I really think he’d be truthful if I asked. Which is what’s stopping me asking I think!

Personally my response would be to gently tease him** about it/her… you’re letting him know he’s set off your spidey sense with his mentionitis without any unnecessary accusations of wrongdoing

**if you feel you can manage a jokey tone and not veer into shrill/snarky territory

@NoseyNellie thats actually not a bad idea. Along the lines of ‘if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you had a thing for her!’ Harharhar