Being left

[cali2000]

Hi there - just posting got some traffic. One week ago my husband of 22 years (26 in relationship) has told me that he is going to leave as soon as possible. I am 58 and he is 55.
i really didn’t expect it. Apparently he has been thinking of it for some time.
Feel devastated

Hey there OP, it must be a terrible shock to have just heard this from him, was there anything that made you expect him to say that? Does he have a plan for what he wants to go off and do?
You’re absolutely right to feel devastated with this. Anyone would.
This actually happened to someone I know this year. At the time it was an unfathomable shock and huge loss. Already though, she’s found the bright side and is living her life. It may not feel it now but you will be fine.

Thank you so much Glitterspy . I can’t tell you what your response means to me.. I’m. tearing up.

I had no idea that this was coming and am gutted that he has been thinking of it for sometime.

I think that this is absolutely it. Unfortunately I am now in a position of seeking legal advise.

Wow - who knew that it would go so fast.

I'll be the first of many to suggest he's got another woman or at the very least the idea of living a single, bachelor pad lifestyle in which he'll get one. I'm sorry, this will be a process with lots of ups and downs. The absolute number one rule is to remember he is no longer on your team and to not believe anything he tells you about the legal or financial side. Get good, independent advice.

So sorry to hear this, you will be understandably devastated - BUT things WILL get so much better.

As humans we don’t like change. You have been forced to change hugely and feel powerless.

Remember though, in time you will feel so much better. So sorry he has done this to you xxx

Thank you so much, Forfucksake and working hardevery day. Great advice. It’s all happened so quickly. I believe that he wants to date again. It makes me feel physically sick and it leaves me feeling that I’m not worthy.

Great point about looking after my interests at this point. So hard to do when you’ve been living as a couple

I am so sorry op. This happened to me too - my ex left out of the blue after 24 years of marriage. Of course there was an OW, as I would bet money there is in this case too. Get legal advice and protect your assets and interests. Things will get better

Thank you so much Purplecatshopaholid
Could I ask whether you got your confidence back?

I’m feeling so unattractive

Hey guys
You have all helped me to do what I need do. I’ve told him to give me our papers and then told him to go. I’ll be following up to make sure they are complete. Had to be done but very scary!

Good luck @cali2000. I am sure you will look back on this as a stronger, happier person.

Thank you!