To not throw a birthday party for my DD, and if not, what can we do instead?

[ACCx]

DDs birthday coming up and usually I would do a party inviting school friends, and that’s what she would like this year, but I don’t want to. The reason being is because the girls in her class are just so cliquey and can be mean. She’s always being left out as she isn’t in any ‘best friend’ groups like the others. Last year after her party some of the girls were being mean not long after. I get this is how primary school girls can be but I really don’t want to waste my money on a party for children that are this way. Anyway, I’m just after some opinions, should I do the party that she would like, or should I organise something for just her. For example a day out somewhere? And if so where could I take her? Will be winter months so I feel like the options are limited.

Dd isn’t having one this year. First time. And I don’t feel bad. We are going to go to the circus at an attraction so basically a fun day out.

They don’t need parties every single year - I didn’t and I know other mums who are giving it a miss too.

School friendships can be really hard. That’s why I always kept in close contact with non school friends so dd would always have someone to spend happy time with.

Ive just bought a book of Amazon about girls and school relationships as sometimes one of my dds can struggle

@Hugocat1 Thank you! That makes me feel a little better x

@hugocat1 what is the book?

As a few mentioned, are there a couple girls she feels comfortable with and might want to include for a small salon day? Or pottery painting? If you are the transport, your vehicle can be the reason for the smaller group. She may really enjoy an intimate time getting to know them where the usual crews may limit her ability to build a deeper relationship. Some girls may come to know her better this way?

There are lots of activities these days for either a family trip or with one or two friends. Indoor golf, ice skating, gaming centres, 4d cinema.

Escape rooms are fun.

Special day out in London and maybe see a show - how old will she be? Frozen or the Lion King are great?

We did legoland one year instead of a party. My mate has just taken her daughter to Harry Potter World thingy for the day. Another took her daughter to the massive primark in Birmingham and gave her £100 to buy anything she wanted.

What is DD into? Football? How about being a mascot for the day? Theatre? Day out to the nearest city and a matinee?

How much are you willing the spend? A party can easily cost £100+. How about a weekend away together? City somewhere. 1 night in a hotel (pemier inn or similar). Activity, shopping, show?

Defo take cousin and DD for a day out,pamper day,kitty cafe or something she hasn't experienced before and a girly sleepover.
I'm sure she would be very excited for this.

I would line up a couple of alternatives as suggested above and offer a party as one of a short list of different options. You can say that you have £xx to spend, and so she can choose how you spend it. If she knows there are really attractive alternatives available but still picks the party, then you'll know it is really important to her. If she chooses a different special treat, then you go with that. Simples!