I’m really just looking for some different (kind) opinions because I myself am so confused.
I have two children from a previous, abusive marriage who are 5 and 8. I left when my youngest was born and was single for 4 years before meeting my current partner who I am now pregnant with. I am 26 weeks pregnant and have pelvic girdle pain and all manner of other physical problems :-( I am also trying to finish renovating our house and feel like I’m drowning under pressure to get it all done.
My boyfriend is the most amazing step-dad I have to say. Kind, loving, patient. And he will be a great dad. But when it comes to socialising, it’s making me miserable. This weekend we planned to do some work to the house which of course he said he would help with. He plays football every Saturday (leaves the house 10:30am and returns home about 16:00/17:00 after a couple of pints) which I just accept as is. However on Friday he asked if I minded if he went out after in town. I said I did mind. I’m in agony and feel so low and so I said I really did mind and had a bit of a breakdown tbh.
Yesterday came, he left at 10:30 and even said to my little boy ‘I will see you this afternoon’ and then he just did not come home. He ignored my text then called at 18:00 to say he was staying out but would be home by 23:30 (very early for him on a night out). I was so angry and couldn’t stop crying so I told him to stay at a friends house and that he darent come back here. I feel so disrespected and like I’m doing this pregnancy on my own.
i love him so much but he wants this freedom to go on complete venders every 2/3 weeks at least in addition to football every single weekend for almost a whole day. His Dad is an alcoholic and whilst he doesn’t drink loads at home it terrifies me that I could be in such a physical state yesterday and he still puts his socialising before me and my kids.
He also hasn’t officially moved in and stays here 5/6 nights a week but lives in London the other 1/2. I don’t know what to do. Do I force a separation to see if it changes anything? I have spoken to him about it and he’s so lovely and says everything will change and that he will do better and yet here I am….