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AIBU?

Describing child as confident

13 replies

Countrylifemama · 02/10/2022 01:24

we have had a play date with school mum and her boy and when talking with a few others mums she described my child as ‘confident, knows what they want etc’ as they had asked for a particular thing

are they describing him in a negative way to say he’s confident (gobby, bad mannered) as rhe context was she was asking for a particular drink from the parent?

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SunshineAndFizz · 02/10/2022 01:59

I wouldn't take it as meaning bad mannered (confidence doesn't mean he wasn't polite).

Depends on the way they said it, could be saying they're a bit cocky, but likely just that they're head strong. Their DC might be quiet and shy in comparison?

As long as you're happy with their manners (do they say please and thank you) I wouldn't give the comment a second thought.

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Jaguarana · 02/10/2022 02:23

I woud find a child asking for a particular drink quite rude, actually. I would have listed the available options in advance. I can't tell from your post if this was the case.

In all honesty, I think the other mother's comment was very probably negative. She was suggesting your child was rude.

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AsAnyFuleKno · 02/10/2022 02:27

I wouldn't pay much too much attention to what some random mum says about your DC.

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Stichintime · 02/10/2022 02:28

Depends how your child said it. With manners, confident in a good way ie; I wish my child was confident enough to ask an adult for what they need. Without manners; your child is overly familiar and should wait until offered!

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funzeny · 02/10/2022 02:38

Do you think your child is a bad confident? You will destroy yourself with peoples comments . Ignore them. There's no place for unwanted opinions from people you don't even know in your life. I think it's actually a big part of motherhood is trying to do your best and happy about what you do, whilst ignoring the constant negativity that you are failing. There's only a couple of people in life that will ever be able to diss your kid but only because you know they love them and you are in agreement (best friend)

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takeme0uttonight · 02/10/2022 03:08

There is nothing more irritating than an overly confident, bossy, overly familiar child. Similarly, a child who can confidently express their needs is great. Work out which one your child is.

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hellosunshineagainxxx · 02/10/2022 03:13

Tbh being confident is what will get your child through life. Whether they meant it negatively or not it's sometimes sadly more important than most other attributes

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takeme0uttonight · 02/10/2022 03:25

funzeny · 02/10/2022 02:38

Do you think your child is a bad confident? You will destroy yourself with peoples comments . Ignore them. There's no place for unwanted opinions from people you don't even know in your life. I think it's actually a big part of motherhood is trying to do your best and happy about what you do, whilst ignoring the constant negativity that you are failing. There's only a couple of people in life that will ever be able to diss your kid but only because you know they love them and you are in agreement (best friend)

I also think a huge part of motherhood is knowing when your child is being a little twat. It's so easy to think "oh they're just confident/outspoken/spirited" but ultimately, surviving in life is not being annoying.

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takeme0uttonight · 02/10/2022 03:26

hellosunshineagainxxx · 02/10/2022 03:13

Tbh being confident is what will get your child through life. Whether they meant it negatively or not it's sometimes sadly more important than most other attributes

There's good confident and bad confident. Bad confident is being annoyingly bossy and overly familiar, good confident is being able to articulately being able to express a need/want/opinion

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funzeny · 02/10/2022 04:47

@takeme0uttonight I agree. Kids are twats. And you need that friend that will be on board that your kids are the worst. But they're also the friend that will argue with anyone who says your kid is anything but perfect. That's the mum friend you need in your life!

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takeme0uttonight · 02/10/2022 04:52

funzeny · 02/10/2022 04:47

@takeme0uttonight I agree. Kids are twats. And you need that friend that will be on board that your kids are the worst. But they're also the friend that will argue with anyone who says your kid is anything but perfect. That's the mum friend you need in your life!

Oh I 100% agree that you need that friend who will stand your back whenever you need it. But you also need the friends who tell you that you're overly indulging the little brats, otherwise we'd have a nation of (even more) insufferable humans. My best friends are the ones who absolutely call me out on my nonsense, and who I call them out on theirs!

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funzeny · 02/10/2022 05:19

@takeme0uttonight
That's a good friend . Someone who can say it like it is. Love your kid to bits but also slags them of with you. But will have your back but makes you a better parent by saying what needs to be said 😊

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funzeny · 02/10/2022 05:24

@takeme0uttonight I have 3 kids and 1 friend who I love to bits who I can moan about anything to, but who will also defend my kids so harsh if anyone, even if I went too far to upset them. She is an amazing friend! X

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