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AIBU?

To just wonder why.

1 reply

Shamedandconfused · 02/10/2022 00:47

I left dv almost 2 weeks ago. Since I fled my head feels like it’s gonna explode with questions that I can’t seem to find an answer to.
This being the main one. Sorry if long winded.

Where I lived with the ex we were in a block of flats, several young people, our across the hall neighbours had 2 children. One similar age to DD. Communal garden etc. Everyone got on well and Ex would often have drinks and a bbq or chat outside with next door, which was a man and a young girl. Then other single neighbours. All early to mid 20s. I was never allowed outside during these garden parties, in fact I was only outside when no one was out there. Just me, him and DD. He would go and drink or eat with them and I had to stay inside. Even if DD was at my mums for the night. He would never watch DD so I could go out. I haven’t seen my friends in years and I’m almost too scared to reconnect. I’m ashamed. In our whole relationship he never took me on a date etc and I found myself at the time hurt that he could do things with anyone except me. I’m not hurt now but I just don’t know why.

My self confidence is in the toilet and I feel like every single man will be the same and I just want to hideaway forever from men. I’m so scared of being abused.

Has anyone else experienced this weird action of them hating you socialising? I dunno how to give myself closure cos it doesn’t make sense in my head. I struggle so bad to even conversate with people in real life as I just feel like a burden. Sorry for the rambling

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

4 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
50%
You are NOT being unreasonable
50%
nokidshere · 02/10/2022 18:38

My self confidence is in the toilet and I feel like every single man will be the same and I just want to hideaway forever from men. I’m so scared of being abused. Well done for leaving x 2 weeks is no time at all and it will take you a while to process what you have been through and are going through. Just take everything slowly and give yourself t8me to heal.

Has anyone else experienced this weird action of them hating you socialising? I dunno how to give myself closure cos it doesn’t make sense in my head. I struggle so bad to even conversate with people in real life as I just feel like a burden. Sorry for the rambling

It's not a ' weird action' sadly. It's normal behaviour by abusers who want to control their partners. Cutting you off from family and friends, even acquaintances, is a way of making you more dependent on them. They get to exert control and you lose confidence.

Again, it's early days. You can find your confident self again but it will take time. Remember above all else that you are now in control of your own life and feelings.

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