I left dv almost 2 weeks ago. Since I fled my head feels like it’s gonna explode with questions that I can’t seem to find an answer to.
This being the main one. Sorry if long winded.
Where I lived with the ex we were in a block of flats, several young people, our across the hall neighbours had 2 children. One similar age to DD. Communal garden etc. Everyone got on well and Ex would often have drinks and a bbq or chat outside with next door, which was a man and a young girl. Then other single neighbours. All early to mid 20s. I was never allowed outside during these garden parties, in fact I was only outside when no one was out there. Just me, him and DD. He would go and drink or eat with them and I had to stay inside. Even if DD was at my mums for the night. He would never watch DD so I could go out. I haven’t seen my friends in years and I’m almost too scared to reconnect. I’m ashamed. In our whole relationship he never took me on a date etc and I found myself at the time hurt that he could do things with anyone except me. I’m not hurt now but I just don’t know why.
My self confidence is in the toilet and I feel like every single man will be the same and I just want to hideaway forever from men. I’m so scared of being abused.
Has anyone else experienced this weird action of them hating you socialising? I dunno how to give myself closure cos it doesn’t make sense in my head. I struggle so bad to even conversate with people in real life as I just feel like a burden. Sorry for the rambling