Is it my parenting or do all 5 year olds go through this?

[llamamaa]

My DS is being stereotypically 'naughty', it's like he's had a change of personality since going back to school.

He's always been so good, but for the past few weeks, he's...

• been snappy, had a teenage attitude, shouting, saying horrible things
• saying aggressive things ('I'm going to punch you' to sister)
• having emotional tantrums and getting angry when he's emotional) *always being backchatty and repeating annoying phrases
• hyperactive, not listening to instructions, constantly 'messing' He's literally being a different child.

I'm anxious that it's my parenting and I'm failing, and I'm stressed about the influence of screen time and the influence of SC.

Hoping someone can jump on and reassure me that children can go through random difficult phases at this age and I'm thinking too much into the reasons why.
I just feel like I've done something wrong.

My 4yo has been having explosive tantrums, hitting, pulling his sisters hair, throwing things and threatening to punch us since he started school. Completely out of character for him. He has always had a tendency to scream to try and get his own way (which I've never given in to) but this aggression is a whole different level.

I am trying to deal with it calmly, ignore the minor bad behaviour and give appropriate consequences for serious bad behaviour. I know it's just a phase because he's tired from school and getting used to the changes in routine. So I'm just trying to deal with it as best as I can until it passes.

It is a normal reaction to being exhausted from being good and focusing all day.

I've got a y7 with SNs that affect his processing speeds and emotional regulation, and after understanding what it was and that he was overwhelmed, it made a big difference. On a bad day he gets sent to his room for some chill out time and provided with food/ drink and then he emerges when he's ready feeling better. He also needs to zone out and immerse himself into something that interests him.

Depending on the child's personality, cuddles/ hot chocolate/ favourite toy/ TV/ physical play etc will all help diffuse those leaky big emotions. Some children will want to feel closer to you, some may need more space. Don't probe them about their day at school until they've calmed down.

For little ones the first term is very hard. Beyond that, I eventually realised that we have a termly cycle. We have a bit of start of termitis, then he settles into the routine weeks 2-4, then the tiredness escalates weeks 5-8. The penultimate week of term is usually worst for us as he's exhausted. The last week when there's an end in sight gets a little easier. We also find it better to have a couple of days buffer between the end of term and any big holiday activities if possible.

NT children tend to gradually mature out of it with time.