I hate surprises

[Daisyinadesert]

DP has a surprise booked for my birthday in December, he’s really milked it at how much I’ll love it and he’s finding new ideas to add to it so it’s so amazing, etc.
I am very grateful, don’t get me wrong I know he’s being really thoughtful and trying to make it a special day for me, but I loathe that it’s a 2 month wait to find out what this huge surprise is.
If he hadn’t told me and kept the surprise, well a surprise, then I wouldn’t be any the wiser. I’m not generally an impatient person but I don’t ‘get’ the fun in a surprise and looking forward to what it will be. For many the surprise turns out to be underwhelming, for others it’s the best thing they could imagine. The surprise factor makes me bored of it before it arrives.
I have always been like this even as a child, I’d be sick of hearing about ‘what Santa will bring’ that when Christmas arrived I wasn’t interested, as an example.
Does anyone else feel like this about surprises or is it just me being a moaning Minnie?

I don't much care for them, either!
Some of us just like to have life planned.. it's not for everyone, but we're all different.

No I love surprises but have had very few, it's one reason I never found out the sex of any of my kids

I absolutely hate surprises. They make me feel anxious and overwhelmed.

But I'm Autistic, and anything spontaneous overwhelms me.

No no.

Part of the joy of things is in the planning.

You sound a misery

I agree, I’d be dreading it being a ,et down but having to pretend you like it.

I feel the same. My husband will always make an ordeal out of saying he has a surprise. Don't tell me at all then it would be an actual suprise!

I also hate surprises - had one once, absolutely hated it (it was the complete opposite of what I hoped it would be)

Everyone in my life knows I hate them though

I’m actually a very happy, friendly person Kiktikat 😁

I’m glad it’s not just me, I assumed everyone loved the thought of being surprised! They make me feel anxious too Rainbow, DP knows this but thinks I’ll love the surprise in the end so he does it anyway. For me it’s more about being bored of the waiting that I wouldn’t enjoy it when the time comes, as opposed to the worry I’ll hate the surprise itself.

I wouldn't count what your dh is doing a surprise. He's almost teasing you and dragging it out.

It would only serve for me to imagine a million possibility's and perhaps inevitably, whatever the surprise is wouldn't match my perfect imaginings? It couldn't - I'd have had months to build a perfect thing for me- and I know me better than anyone else in the world, every detail I can imagine is just right just for me- and then it would be such an anti climax.

What's more Id find it the teasing aspect tedious- almost lording something over me.
I'd become resentful and potentially stop giving a shit as I closed myself off from it because of that.

But that's just me, some would love this I'm sure. I'd enjoy a traditional style surprise- on the day, or even a week before hint dropping and build up. But months? Definitely not.

I hate it when people harp on about so he thing amazing they have planned for you, you have to be all gleeful and grateful when you don’t when know what it bloody is, how good it’ll actually be and you have to wait ages to find out. Just be quiet and let me have no expectations and then I’ll enjoy it in the moment.

I'm with you, OP. I don't know why in this day and age people are still obsessed with keeping things a surprise. I would much rather know what I'm getting to avoid disappointment and avoid having to put an act on pretending how much I love it.

It's exhausting.

Me too!!

Says the other misery.

I find them benignly controlling.

I agree that I hate surprises and always have. I get very anxious about unplanned things and not knowing what's happening. I need everything planned to a T. I purposely go rooting for Christmas presents because I can't stand it.

My DC is autistic and he is the same. We still do Santa but always ask him what he wants from Santa!

This
I absolutely detest surprises

I don’t hate surprises, but I do think they’re largely for the benefit of the person doing the surprising, and they add a weird pressure that’s not conducive to fun. People who go on about surprises, like your DH, are the worst!

Nooo I hate them too.
I just can't fake pleased surprise to save my life (and it's not for lack of trying/practice!) and it's gutting to see peoples faces if a surprise gift doesn't get the reaction they were hoping for.
I get you OP!

Not a fan of surprises either due to a history of broken promises and proof of not knowing or caring about my likes and interests during my childhood and teen years.

It’s ridiculous to tell someone you have a surprise for them that they won’t be told for weeks or months. What is even the point of doing so?

I can't stand surprises. They make me feel anxious and overwhelmed and I dread them.

I'm with you OP.
I HATE surprises.
So much so that in your shoes, he'd be on v thin ice now anyway and I'll already be in a "this is a shit day/gift" mood/mindset to the point that even if it was something I loved, I'd hate it and sulk.

Hate them. I like to be prepared. Might want to organise an outfit if it’s an outing etc Plus, anticipation of something is a large part of my enjoyment of it- that’s lost for me when something is a surprise.

Samesies. My husband knows never to surprise me with anything. The anxiety is just horrible.

I loathe surprises with a passion. One year some work colleagues arranged a surprise birthday party for me in a local pub - my husband at the time ended up telling me in the car on the way there, since he knew if it was sprung on me I'd most likely turn around and walk straight back out 😂😂