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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask him to leave?

18 replies

kydlaij · 30/09/2022 19:45

About a month ago DS broke up with his boyfriend, after this he didnt treat DS very good, he told people about DS’s past that DS only told him as he trusted him to not tell people, and a lot of horrible things teenagers do/say but it did upset DS a lot.

Tonight me, DP and DS2 went out for dinner, DS1 didn't go as he's unwell. We've not long got back and I went to check on him and he's with his ex watching a film as if nothing happened!

WIBU to ask him to leave?

OP posts:
Everydaywheniwakeup · 30/09/2022 19:46

Yes.

Whadda · 30/09/2022 19:47

What age is your son?

If he’s 13, get the other boy to leave.

If he’s 19, stay out of it.

Aroloruns · 30/09/2022 19:49

Generally best to let kids get on with it as they only ending up hiding things from you, sneaking out and being upset in silence. Just let him work out this on his own. He will eventually and your relationship will still be intact.

YellowTreeHouse · 30/09/2022 19:51

YABU. It’s not your decision nor your business.

QueensEyot · 30/09/2022 19:53

Whadda · 30/09/2022 19:47

What age is your son?

If he’s 13, get the other boy to leave.

If he’s 19, stay out of it.

This!

girlmom21 · 30/09/2022 19:59

YABU. Your sons old enough to have a boyfriend so is old enough to make these decisions.

Original poster
kydlaij · 30/09/2022 20:05

Whadda · 30/09/2022 19:47

What age is your son?

If he’s 13, get the other boy to leave.

If he’s 19, stay out of it.

DS is 15

OP posts:
Original poster
kydlaij · 30/09/2022 20:11

girlmom21 · 30/09/2022 19:59

YABU. Your sons old enough to have a boyfriend so is old enough to make these decisions.

Yes, he is old enough to have a boyfriend but he's not treated him very good and has upset him.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 30/09/2022 20:13

And your son has chosen to forgive him and won't thank you for ruining that

Original poster
kydlaij · 30/09/2022 20:18

I just didn't want him here if he's going to upset DS and he already has.

OP posts:
YellowTreeHouse · 30/09/2022 20:29

kydlaij · 30/09/2022 20:18

I just didn't want him here if he's going to upset DS and he already has.

It doesn’t matter. It’s not your call.

Original poster
kydlaij · 30/09/2022 20:45

He'll probably upset DS again.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 30/09/2022 20:46

kydlaij · 30/09/2022 20:45

He'll probably upset DS again.

You asking him to leave certainly will

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 30/09/2022 20:48

Keep out of it.

HangOnToYourself · 30/09/2022 20:49

If you ask him to leave your ds will be upset with you, dont let this other boy come between you.
You need to let them.figure things out themselves and be there to pick up the pieces if it goes wrong (even if it goes against your protective instincts).

19lottie82 · 30/09/2022 20:50

What do you think will happen if you ask him to leave? That your son will really appreciate it? Doubtful.

Have a chat with your son tomorrow, perhaps discuss healthy relationships and respect.

SeasonFinale · 30/09/2022 20:51

As your DS is only 15 there is a pretty good chance its not their forever partner so one or the other may end up upsetting the other.

Stay neutral now. Be there for your son when or if it goes wrong.

YellowTreeHouse · 30/09/2022 21:10

kydlaij · 30/09/2022 20:45

He'll probably upset DS again.

So? You can’t shelter your son and you shouldn’t try to.

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