To ask OH not to get wasted tonight

[Aappleaday]

Sorry in advance but I’m a aggy 6 month pregnant women on minimal sleep at the moment!

Our 22 month year old is going through an awful regression, the last two days her nap have been 20 minutes then she is having max 6/7 broken sleep at night (she is up screaming for our bed), I can’t go back to sleep very easily at the moment so I am SHATTERED, I feel like I have a newborn again (maybe she’s preparing me for January!!). I also work 4 days a week, so it’s not like I am just chilling during the day.

So whilst I’m shattered struggle with our toddler and 6 months pregnant my OH thinks it’s completely acceptable to go off on his jollies tonight, this nights been planned since the weekend as he’s old friend is visiting home so I understand he has to go. AIBU asking him to stay sober and get back at a decent time so he can help during the night if we have another night like the past 2?!

I will be honest, I’m not great at pregnancy I’m extremely moody 😫, and yes semi jealous I can’t let my hair down and have a drink! Which I do voice to him, I just could really do with a hand tonight and have a nice solid sleep!!!

My DH wouldn’t go out in this situation.

Could you toddler have an ear infection?

I would let him go and have a drink if the old friend only visits once in a blue moon? However if he's a frequent visitor I would ask DH to stay sober.

This. Context is all. If its a rare event my response would be different from if it were every couple of weeks.

@Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas I didn’t think of any infection as she seems okay besides the over-tiredness 😖, she wakes up the same times at night lately like clockwork!!

@raffle he does live aboard.

OH has agreed to stay sober and take over when he gets in, and now he’s agreed I’m really second guessing myself thinking I’m just taking my frustration and tiredness out on him 🙃

@Aappleaday do you have anywhere you could go for a few proper hours sleep over the weekend? Like your mothers? Or a friend or sibling?

I'd let him go. He can take over tomorrow and you take yourself off somewhere for a rest/swim/sleep

Actually if this is a rare occasion to see his friend he should be able to relax and enjoy himself.

But over the weekend you need a rest. Wether he takes dd out or you go visit a friend or family and stay over.

He should go. Just make sure you get some time 'off' over the weekend.

It’s Friday night he should go and enjoy himself

I would give him a free pass for tonight but schedule him to do a full day on Sunday so you can laze and have serious 'me' time.

Sounds like a recipe for disaster, he’ll get drunker than you want him to, you’ll be clockwatching and wondering how pissed he is and it may well end in a massive row for everyone.

I think I’d accept I was on duty tonight/ tomorrow morning and have a takeaway and an early night while your DH enjoys himself, but strictly on the condition that from 10am Sat until 10am Sun (including overnight and including cooking and putting a wash on) he is on duty and you can do whatever you want, whether it’s sleeping (at home or somewhere else), going for a walk whatever. And he’s got to take DD out of the house for a few hours. And make him stick to it.

I really feel for you OP. I remember how bone achingly exhausted this time can be. However, it's a one off for your OH, and if his friend lives abroad, it's unlikely to happen again any time soon. I think in your shoes I would have a chat with him, explain how worn out you are, but that you really want him to be able to have a good night. Then talk damage control. He go and get bladdered tonight if that's what he wants, but firstly, please can he sleep on the sofa so he doesn't disturb you and DC any more than necessary. Second, Saturday night he is doing ALL wakeups and letting you sleep through, NO disturbances, otherwise it's pointless. Would that work for you OP?