5 year old not wanting to go into school - please help!

[Mydogsbetterthanyours]

Sorry, not AIBU, but I really need advice.

My little girl is in Year 1 and just will not go into school without a fuss every single morning and it's really wearing me down. I will preface this by saying she is an end of August baby so is the youngest in the year and I do think she's getting very tired and finding the transition from all play in reception to hard work in Year 1 pretty tough.

This is her 3rd year at the same school and after some initial hesitation when first starting at the school she has (nearly!) always gone in skipping and laughing with her friends. Then Year 1 started and there's probably been about 2 days where she's gone in without clinging to me and that was only after bribery!

I am very business-like and calm at drop-off. I don't linger or drag it out. She knows the score; she has to go in, end of. I just don't know why this is happening. She has friends (although there is one girl who is slightly troubled, for want of a better word who I feel is more of a frenemy than a friend really; this has been discussed with the teacher and I am assured they are keeping a close eye on them). She has some lovely friends, one in particular who really has her back. The teachers tell me she's happy once she's in there and she comes out happy every day, so what can I do to sort out the morning drop off!? Help!

Thank you all.

Bribery.

My 5yr old is the same and it is a really tricky transition from EYFS to KS1 that throws a lot of kids for a loop when it first starts.

Acknowledge that it's hard for her and that you understand its an adjustment. Offer her a sticker for every morning she goes into school calmly, if she gets three or more stickers then she gets a little treat at the weekend like a magazine or whatever (I do three or more days rather than all five days because it gives some wiggle room and stops the whole week being a write off if there is upset on any one morning). Lots of praise and encouragement when she goes in with no fuss too.

It will get better, it's just a case of riding it out, the first and last half term of every school year is always the worst in terms of emotional upheaval.

My son still gets a bit like this, he's just gone into year 2. I find talking the whole way to school about something that interests him like Minecraft really helps to distract him from worrying about anything. Or we talk about what we can do after school, sometimes I use bribery like a trip to the sweet shop or some time on my phone or the iPad when we get home if I can see he's struggling. He also really isn't a morning person and I find it's best if I wake him up earlier than he'd naturally wake up so he's properly awake for the school run and he doesn't have to rush through the morning routine of breakfast, getting dressed etc.

My 2 sons were the same, I could understand the first as he was a bit of a loner, who preferred adult company rather than his own age, but my DS2 was a confident boy who would leave me at playgroups and go to anyone, loved going on playdates and parties, but although he went to school ok, once we got there the crying would start and when I’d ask him what the problem was, all I got was that he wanted to stay with me. It did get better as term went on, but the same happened after any break. I used to help out reading in his class in the hope that it would settle him, which worked on the days I went in, but not the others. Teachers were good and always said they would tell me if there was a problem and just put it down to him missing me as he used to ask me what I’d been doing whilst he was at school.