To not go to a friend’s birthday dinner?

[fedup7]

My friends birthday in a couple of weeks and a surprise dinner has been arranged by a friend of hers at a restaurant and drinks after.

It’s in another town so have to travel. I’ve said I will go but some things have come up which means I really cannot afford to go now. Paying for a gift, travel, food and drinks will mean I have to put it on my credit card and I can’t do that as I have enough to pay off and can’t afford it.

I don’t know anyone apart from my friend so feel awkward saying it’s about money. What should I do?

Your friend will understand.. everyone is feeling the pinch right now. Don't get yourself in debt just to go to a party you won't know anyone at. I'd explain to your friend why you can't go and arrange to meet up sometime just the two of you at one of your houses.

Tell the person arranging it that, sorry, something's come up.

Send your friend a card. After the party has happened, apologise for your absence as due to unexpected bills it meant you couldn't afford to go. She should understand.

Maybe you can share a takeaway next month or something to catch up?

Just say you can’t make it. You don’t need. To explain. Just arrange something else with her.

Exactly this.
your friend will still be your friend and understand.
we need to normalise conversations about finances at the moment. It’s absolutely ok to say that it’s just not within your means right now.
mid they are any kind of friend they’ll understand.

If it’s a surprise your mate won’t know if you were coming or not. Don’t put yourself into financial pressure. Just text the organiser to say change of plans at your end and you are now not free. Get it done you will feel loads better. You don’t owe anyone an explanation why.

I would be honest and say that some things have come up which means that you can no longer afford to do it. What if many others are feeling the same and not saying anything? Then maybe something else could be organised and do a joint present instead of lots of little ones.

I'd say something has come up but send flowers to the restaurant.