To not like being called darling....

[PinkRiceKrispies]

By a 23 year old girl? I am 37....

She probably can't remember your name is all, it's a good tool of mine, although I use 'you' more than darling.

"Hello You, how are the littleuns', mind running me that report?"

I don't mind, so long as it's friendly and neither leering nor sarcastic. I knew someone who used such words when telling you off ('look, darling, you're wasting my time') and I really disliked that. Otherwise, I don't usually use the word myself, except with close family; but I don't have a problem with people using it in a friendly way.

My husband has referred to my Nan as a 'girl' several times

I've tried to explain is isn't really appropriate to refer to a 89 year old as a girl but he doesn't get it.

I think if you really dislike it, it's perfectly fine to say so. But I don't see how age comes into it unless you think she is being patronising in other ways.

I agree with PP that you need to take into account what's normal for the person addressing you, and what's normal where you are in the country. Where I am, I'm regularly called love or darling, and it's not intended as patronising. I have colleagues who call me 'lass' or ask how my 'missus' is doing. If they were trying to be fake-cute, I'd be cross, but they're just talking the way they talk. One of these people is all of 17, and he is really polite and nice. It wouldn't occur to me to think he shouldn't talk to me in his normal way, just because I am older.

Surprised it’s only 50:50, but perhaps not everyone read this is in a professional context by a younger colleague. I absolutely hate this too

Calling her a ‘girl’ is worse. Yabu

Why should the age of the colleague signify? Surely it's unprofessional to discriminate by age?

Agree with you it’s patronising, but as PP said so is calling her a girl. Though presumably you are not repeatedly calling her girl at work, so it’s not worse.

@SarahAndQuack based on lack of respect I suppose, it feels very patronising

But this is a professional context, right? Why would someone be expected to respect you based on age? That's surely very wrong.

I couldn't get worked up about it unless it was obviously meant in a patronising way, but I'm from the north so have a tendency to call everyone and anyone 'love' or 'sweet'art' anyway.

I dread to think how many people I’ve called ‘sweetpea’ this week alone

23 year is a woman not a girl.
It's a term of endearment not anything sinister or patronising

Does she do it to everyone including male colleagues?

Clearly the OP felt disrespected on the basis of age or wouldn’t have mentioned it. Others might feel disrespected on the basis of gender if a man called them darling. It’s actually worse in a professional environment @SarahAndQuack as it’s also unprofessional to call someone darling.

Don’t go to Liverpool then, you’ll get called Queen and be offended.

And at work we are all ‘girls’, no matter how old we are.

It is a bit weird.

A man in my local coffee shop calls me darling and I hate it.

Wouldn’t bother me, but you feel how you feel. Being called darling, love, flower, or anything like that is fine by me. My sister loathes it though, and like people to call her Mrs X.

Honestly who gives a shit. I am in my 40s and it wouldn't occur to me to be offended. People really do need to get over themselves. The poor woman is just being friendly 🙄

She needs to stop being ridiculous.
it seriously is ridiculous, with so much else in the world to worry about 🙄

You lost all my sympathy when you called a 23 year old a "girl".

Is she supposed to respect you but you don't need to respect her because she's younger? I'm afraid that's not how it works nowadays.

It’s a strange one. Some people can call me whatever they like and I like it. Another person can call me the same thing and it gets my back up. Depends on who they are and my own mood and their intention, to patronise or not.

I’ll put it as number 2 million and 1 on my list of first world problems. As long as it is not done in a condescending way l couldn’t care less.

It also has has regional and international aspects. For example, in some parts of the UK it is in common usage. Italians use it a lot as well.

l’d worry more about someone calling me “shitface”.