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AIBU?

To say my two year old stays with me during the week.

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supertato32 · 29/09/2022 21:55

My partner and I split up when my child was 10 months. He left when I was away visiting my parents and I was left paying all bills and rent by myself, whilst still on maternity.

Fast forward and my daughter is nearly 2, I've gone back to work full time, organised and pay for full time nursery childcare, have been the one to take time off when daughter is ill (despite asking him to help with this, for some reason it's only my job that has to be flexible)! The reason for the back story is that we are in a nice routine now, I have my daughter in the week and we share weekends. Sometimes my ex will have her for a long weekend and he has also taken her away on holiday. He is also free to come over to put her to bed after nursery when he would like.

When he left, he moved half an hour away. In rush hour traffic in can take 45 mins to get to mine. He keeps insisting he wants our LG one night a week, but I won't agree with it. I don't think it's fair for her to be driven back and forth after a long day at nursery. I've offered him longer time at the weekend but he doesn't want to do this. In my mind he wants to have half of his weekend always free to unwind from work.

He picked my daughter up from nursery today and took her to the park and back to mine. The nursery teacher said to him that our little
Girl has been saying this week 'my daddy is coming to take me swimming' (as this is what they do at the weekend) and he is now using what the nursery teacher has said to guilt trip me to agreeing to have her in the week. 'She's saying at nursery she wants me to take her swimming in the week.' I also think she would be exhausted to go to nursery at 7.30am and then be taken swimming at 5/5,30pm (this is crazy right?)

The other selfish reason I haven't agreed is he will say he wants her every Wednesday. But he also sometimes works late or away from home and I will just be expected to be flexible when he needs me to be. I'm trying to keep everyone happy but as the main caregiver and financial provider, I really feel I want to put my foot down. AIBU?

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