Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think she isn't interested in meeting up

14 replies

Echobeachfarawayintime · 29/09/2022 21:33

An old friend who I've not seen in a long time as she'd moved abroad for a while , but I used to see her daily. We were meant to meet a few months back, but a couple of days before she said she had COVID symptoms and so didn't want to risk it. I never heard from her again with regard to rearranging.
Anyway then we sent occasional messages etc. But that was it.
She had a job where she did nights and seemed to be constantly at work so seemed hard to meet up.
Then went for a good few months without speaking. I got back in touch and it turned out she'd got a new job and now had much more free time.
She said she'd be up for meeting and we arranged a date a couple of weeks away (yesterday) Eventually I asked if we were ok to do a Skype or equivalent as she lives quite far and I couldn't really afford the train plus a meal etc. So we said we'd skype this time and then postpone the meeting till after payday.
I asked what time for the Skype and she said anytime was great.
I got in touch at about 7:30pm and asked if then was good. She's still not read the msg and it was yesterday, whereas normally she replies asap and is online a lot.
She told me she was free every evening.
I think she's got cold feet, I can't figure out why. I did wonder if it were the case for our last meeting given that she never suggested a new date.
I'm not going running after her, if she doesn't want to then I just won't bother.
I feel a bit hurt and rejected, it's tough when you try with friends and people just aren't that interested. Does it sound like that? Maybe there's a good reason but why keep going online and not even reading my message.

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 29/09/2022 21:37

Because you suggested meeting up and let her down at the last minute?

Echobeachfarawayintime · 29/09/2022 21:39

I had it before when I tried to befriend a female friend of my partner. I'm sure people will come and tell me how 'weird' it is to be friends with your partner's friend. However we'd hung around in a group a few times and then she kept saying 'We should go out together! We should go for a run together!' etc.
Anyway she lived very close to me so one day I messaged asking if she fancied meeting for coffee. She said yeah, I messaged suggesting a time and place and conveniently she never 'saw' that message. That was 2 years ago and she's still never seen it. Ah well.

OP posts:
Echobeachfarawayintime · 29/09/2022 21:39

Well she let me down the time before? Also we're still seeing each other on skype and I gave her plenty of notice and rearranged it for another date, not just cancelled with no other date.

OP posts:
Mythril · 29/09/2022 21:40

If you live far away from each other then the friendship may just fizzle out. If you aren't particularly close it can feel a bit like hard work maintaining a long distance friendship.

Echobeachfarawayintime · 29/09/2022 21:40

Even if it were true, why agree to a Skype then just ignore? Doesn't make any sense.

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 29/09/2022 21:40

Couldn't you just Skype her anyway without waiting to hear if it was a good time.
Seeing as she'd already said any time

SarahAndQuack · 29/09/2022 21:41

To me it sound as if you're both a bit busy/vague, which I think is perfectly normal at the moment really (post covid, a lot of people are struggling with social interactions). I wouldn't let it worry me. You've both given each other the brush off, but if you're good friends, you'll both keep at it and you'll get back into the groove.

Echobeachfarawayintime · 29/09/2022 21:41

I don't have her Skype ID, I thought I'd better check anyway just in case she was eating or something

OP posts:
Echobeachfarawayintime · 29/09/2022 21:42

I don't feel that I've given her the brush off, I rearranged our in person meeting for 2 weeks later and I also arranged the Skype. I didn't just say sorry I can't meet then nothing else

OP posts:
Catastrophejane · 10/12/2022 22:47

I wouldn’t take this personally- I was supposed to have a group Skype with some old friends this time last year. Never happened and my flakiness was part of it.

they are lovely people, would love to meet them again but they live abroad and a Skype chat doesn’t fill me with excitement. Life has got in the way, and have simply not got round to organise anything!

life can be busy and people can be lazy with friendships.

Ineedsleepandcoffee · 10/12/2022 23:02

Skype isn't really meeting up though is it. She should still respond to you but I can at least understand someone being reluctant to Skype.

Yayyayitsaholiholiday · 10/12/2022 23:15

I wouldn’t be interested in doing a Skype. I’d only do this with family living abroad.

However, it’s hard work maintaining friendships, so perhaps she does doesn’t have the interest/inclination to do so. Don’t chase her again.

simplefree · 27/12/2022 10:00

Sounds like you are more interested in keeping in touch then she is

I would let her go and make new friends

People grow apart and whereas it is nice to get together, it should be mutual effort

BTW - maybe she was just interested in having a day out rather then a reconnection and in that case skype would be extremely awkward

NoodleNuts · 27/12/2022 10:25

You arranged a date to meet up and then you changed your mind about meeting in person (eventually... how close to the proposed meet was this?) and requested to do it via Skype, and then didn't text her until 7:30pm on the actual day?

I think that's a bit late tbh, I would have assumed that you had forgotten or had changed your mind. Were you expecting her to sit around waiting all day just in case you called? I wouldn't want to do it via Skype either, couldn't you have met halfway or something?

I think you should just give up on this friendship.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page