Secret child

[Blackdog1620]

On Thursday at 8.30 my boyfriend of 5 years tells me he has a ten year old daughter. He has never mentioned her....ever. The mother died 10months ago & he has secretly been meeting up with gardians of his daughter to visit her & them!
Obviously I have questions? He lives in my house with my two kids & his 17 year old daughter. Why have u not mentioned her? Why have u had no contact?? His older daughter lives with us full time!!!
I just can't understand it.
Friday morning as I'm off to work he tells me he is taking his daughter away that weekend.
Obviously I'm angry now as I feel betraid. So I tell him to fuck off I'm going to work.
Come home after 12 hour shift nothing. No text call Nadal!
Nothing by sat evening so I text. Him saying I think it's poor he has not text me to let me know he is OK were he is etc.
He reply he is giving me space & he has taken her to Edinburgh zoo & pizzahut.
He returns home Monday evening after his work, as though nothing has happened. I'm upstairs he asked me if I want a cup of tea I say no because I can't look at him after how he has behaved.
He then says its best he leaves as we are not talking...WTF
So I ask for my key & tell him his lies & betrail means I can't trust him. Plus there are no sorry can we fix this from him.
I loved this man had no idea at all nothing. And thought we would be together forever.
When he was away I searched the obituaries to see if it was true. He was married to this women.
Totally floored x
Any advice on how to deal with this going forward?

I’m appalled at posters thinking he should have got custody immediately after her mother died. What the fuck?! This child has zero memory of him, lost her mother and then gets shunted to a bloke she doesn’t know?! This is my worst nightmare as a single parent to a child with a totally absent father - I would absolutely want my child to be with family that she knows, loves (and love her) rather than some fucking deadbeat.

I think things have got a bit mixed up my thread. I did not post this to push anyone's buttons. I myself am a single parent of 2 kids. I waited 6 months before I even introduced them to this man. One of the main reasons I let my guard down was that his daughter lived with him..right.

The S/C mum died 10 months ago. She is lives with gaudian/ Aunty's & husband. I do not know when they got in contact with him. He states a couple of months ago.

As far as I can tell they have done there due diligence by meeting months after her mum's passing. Then slowely reintroduced her to her father.

All of which I knew nothing about.

Huge deceit. I'm so sorry OP

Do you really want a relationship with someone that not only keeps secrets from you but hides a child from you!?

Hiding a marriage and a child is terrible. Staying out of his child’s life for 7.5 years is pretty unforgivable.
Getting the 17 year old to lie about her little sisters existence for years is hard to fathom.

The best way to deal with this is pack up his things and move on. He needs to find somewhere else to live, give him a date whereby all his clothes and belongings need to be away. He's deceived you on such a big way , I would not forgive this. It will take time for you to get over this but you will.

His teenage daughter must know that he was married and there is a child from this marriage. Did dp ask her to keep it a secret? Very strange both have managed to keep it quiet for 10 years. Op the deception would also be the end for me. So sorry you have this hurt to deal with.
Sending love xx

So all of this time he and his daughter have lived with you knowing he was married to someone else and had a child with them?
Teenager or not - she has been complicit in this affair. She has been manipulated by this man as you have. He has made her devalue you. He really has a lot to answer for.