To tell this boys mum what her son is like?

[pitersanset]

DS dated a boy let's call him C for about 3 months, C then cheated on DS so DS broke up with him. C has asked DS if they can be friends, DS said no but that they can be on good terms and talk occasionally.

C seemed fine with this but last week he asked DS if he wanted to get back together, DS said no as he doesn't want a relationship right now, this seemed to have annoyed C and he told a few people at the college that DS was in a relationship with him, and outed him. DS had said he doesn't want anyone at the college knowing apart from his friends as he wasn't ready to come out to everyone.

DS suffers with poor mental health (depression and anxiety) and is now saying he wants to kill himself and he doesn't want to go to college again etc.

I want to C’s mum what her son has done as I can't do anything else

WIBU?

OP there has to be a reason this kid thinks outing your DS will hurt him, I’d be very concerned that his own parents might be homophobic and proceed with extreme caution. I know your son is hurting but you could endanger another boy in a similar position.

I think he's outed DS as he knew he didn't want anyone at the college knowing apart from his friends. C’s parents aren't homophobic and he has been out for years.

What C did was appalling and I'm sorry your son's going through this, but these are college-age teenagers and I don't think you should be contacting C's mum. It would only make things worse for your son and in any case, contacting someone to tell them their son is horrible is really not going to achieve anything. Chances are she'll just feel more protective of him in exactly the same way you feel protective of your son.

Furthermore, can we please stop blaming women for nasty shit that men do?

I can totally understand how protective you feel about your son and how angry you are at how he has been treated, but if they are old enough to date then they are too old to have parents getting involved. The other parent will no double have heard a very different perspective/story (if any) so you risk making your son an object of ridicule of ridicule for “getting mum to fight his battles”. I hope your son is ok.

Why do you want to tell his mum? What do you think it will achieve?

If that secret could get you bullied, ostracised or attach sometimes even by members of your own family people are bloody well entitled to keep that hidden.

I do think you would unreasonable to "tell" his mum "what he is like". I can't imagine a positive reason for doing this and it won't have the impact I imagine you want it to. She is his mum and may well know what he is like, or might not believe you and ultimately might not care. She is his mother and if she's like the majority mum's she will love her child unconditionally.

Remember too that her son will have a completely different narrative to yours. When you are in a relationship with someone you can not control who they discuss their private life with. Another perspective on this is that he was struggling with his mental health after a breakup that he didn't want and spoke to some friends about it. Expecting him to redact his life could be regarded as controlling. It isn't necessarily fair to start a relationship with someone and ban them from talking about it.