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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dilemma about my birthday present WWYD?

19 replies

BigButtons · 29/09/2022 16:52

It's my birthday today. Dp got me some earrings from a local jeweller . They are lovely and obviously expensive. They are chunks of amber, so quite bulky. They are not my sort of earring at all and I do love earrings, I have lots of pairs, but don't wear big bulky earrings.
He said that I could exchange them if I didn't like them.
I told him they were beautiful,(they are, they are just not my sort of jewellery).

Do I say I would like to swap them after all?

I am so worried about upsetting him- he worries about getting things wrong in all areas of his life. I am very grateful that he has put thought into what I would like, but I simply won't wear them.
Do I say nothing or should I swap them?
19 year old DD says I should be honest and find something I would wear frequently rather than make excuses as to why I am not wearing them.
WWYD?

OP posts:
Whatsthestorytomorrow · 29/09/2022 16:54

I’d be very surprised if a jeweller agreed to take earrings back tbh.
Happy Birthday 🎂
you have my sympathy, my DH has never managed to buy jewellery to my taste in 20 years!

Original poster
BigButtons · 29/09/2022 16:57

I think if they are unworn- which they are, then they are happy. It is one of those little bijoux shops that house many different designers.( in my town, so not online)

OP posts:
Poppyseed14 · 29/09/2022 16:58

I doubt they will exchange them. Hygiene reasons. Worth a try though.

Glorieta · 29/09/2022 17:00

I would check that they will exchange them and if they do select 3 or 4 pairs that you like....then ask him to chose from that selection.

That way he gets some choice and you get something you will wear

Glorieta · 29/09/2022 17:03

Meant to add i am a serial gift returner as DH just doesn't get it right and he's happier knowing that than seeing me not enjoying his gifts.

The above strategy works for us and avoids expensive mistakes.

Maybe tell him the amber is too heavy and pulling your earlobes or looking for something with a stone or design that has meaning for you both.
Good luck!

Lou98 · 29/09/2022 17:05

If they accept returns I would be honest and swap them.

I would swap them for another pair of earrings so he knows you were happy with the gift just not the design. If they were expensive there's no point keeping them and never wearing them

SeasonFinale · 29/09/2022 17:05

Unfortunately even if you know they are unworn it is very unlikely that the shop will take a return on earrings because you can't prove they are

Original poster
BigButtons · 29/09/2022 17:07

@Glorieta that is a really good idea. I think, despite me saying they were lovely, he has an inkling that they are not quite right. Just got to pluck up the courage to tell him now.

OP posts:
Rebelmcstreettuff · 29/09/2022 17:21

OP I was gifted some horrible earrings by my brother one year,they cost £150 and had a matching bracelet.
Shop wouldn't let me exchange because of hygiene reasons.
Totally gutted,not my taste at all,don't know what my brother was thinking.
I was annoyed that he has wasted his money.
They are still sat unworn in a drawer somewhere 😔

TiaraBoo · 29/09/2022 17:22

@BigButtons is it obvious the earrings haven’t been worn? I.e covered in plastic stuff? As it’s really common to not allow returns of earrings.

pilates · 29/09/2022 17:25

I would be very surprised if they let you take them back.

I think you are stuck with them unfortunately.

Happy Birthday 🎂

Original poster
BigButtons · 29/09/2022 17:27

@TiaraBoo he says the shop says they could be exchanged. They were simply in a jewellery box, loose, hooked onto a small bit of card, no plastic etc. I need to double check he hasn't misunderstood though.

OP posts:
BattenburgDonkey · 29/09/2022 17:36

Seen as they are bulky you could say that you love them but bulky ones hurt/pull your piercings so you’d like to exchange them for something that would fit comfortably in your ears. Double check with the shop first about the exchange.

Bebobebo · 29/09/2022 17:43

I just had the same thing happen, although with a necklace not earrings. My birthday on Monday... told my partner a shop I liked... and he managed to find the only necklace in the shop that I would never wear in a million years. I felt really sad for him, but he said he was happy for me to change it, so I did. When I showed him what I'd changed it for, he said "oh, I saw that one too, and thought you'd like it!" In a really happy way. Deffo the right thing to do to change it if it's allowed. (But this kind of thing always makes me feel a bit sad and awkward too.)

rookiemere · 29/09/2022 17:44

I would exchange them and reassure him that jewellery is hard to get right.

Funkyslippers · 29/09/2022 17:48

Definitely be honest and reassure him as much as possible that it's not his fault. I had this recently twice with DD. Both times it was stuff I just wouldn't use/wear and if I wasn't honest she'd have wondered why I hadn't used/worn the items. I did feel really bad saying it though. You could tell him how bad you feel about it too

Original poster
BigButtons · 29/09/2022 17:57

Thank you so much everyone. giving your views- it has really helped. I would also like to have a pair of earring forms him that I wore alot of the time because it would be lovely to have his gift WITH me rather than in a drawer.

OP posts:
ittakes2 · 29/09/2022 18:19

go find something you want there instead first

Bluetrews25 · 29/09/2022 18:21

Last Christmas DH and I bought our own presents to a set budget. Wrapped them up. 'This is what you got me'

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