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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To try to move house in current situation?

5 replies

Rosequartz7 · 29/09/2022 10:42

I'll try and be brief!
Moved to small flat 1st time buyers before covid. I had a good job in MH services but was struggling with my own MH (shout out to anyone working in NHS), DH min wage, mortgage on my salary mainly. It's not the best flat as its minute, and (now teen) DC's room has the door to the garden in it which while we try to minimise using it isnt ideal for privacy as they get older, also they can't open a window in there.

I burnt out eventually at work, my teen got ill with long covid and I had to give up work to care for them and currently trying to set up own business WFH so I can meet caring responsibilities (coming up to a year of them being unwell with huge fluctuations in function).
DH (who is a star) in this time got a better job and more than doubled his wage. So we are managing.
The thing is, our neighbours upstairs are fucking awful. Abusive, awful to each other and children, cheating, screaming. Got worse over the time we have lived here, I've phoned NSPCC who've done safeguarding referral, police when I've been scared for female partners safety. Nothing seems to have changed.
It just gets minimised and due to logistics we feel we are the only people who know what it's really like as they put on a great act to the outside world. It's constant banging and nastiness and raised voices and crying kids :(
Nothing has changed and doubt it will.
I just hate living here. I have complex trauma in my past and whenever he kicks off upstairs I feel it rise up in my chest and I'm dragged back there. The sound of this guys voice even slightly raised just triggers it now.
I spend all my time at home now and I'm pretty isolated. I know we are really lucky to even have our own home tiny as it is, so I feel really selfish just moaning about this.
We could port our mortgage to somewhere cheaper if we found somewhere and ideally DC would have a decent room as we both spend most of our time here. Would just about manage a mortgage on DH salary and freelance and my child maintenance (not much!)
Is it madness to even consider moving? I hear a lot about financial instability and house prices dropping...what would you do? AIBU? I feel so alone in this.

OP posts:
DashboardConfessional · 29/09/2022 10:46

I would look to move but speak to a broker first. They'd be able to tell you what repayments would look like at current interest rates.

Rosequartz7 · 29/09/2022 10:56

Thank you, I am all over the place with this tbh! We could probably sell our place as its a desirable location and move a bit further out from the city, DC won't be walking to school anymore anyway 😞I was so ready to love this place and I do, I'm so sad that some aggressive knobhead has ruined what was supposed to be our sanctuary and happy place.

OP posts:
Puddywoodycat · 29/11/2022 23:12

Op your in a very good position you owned your own house..
Please please don't sell it.
Unless it's to buy somewhere new

4yearsandwaiting · 29/11/2022 23:20

Would you be able to port your mortgage if your circumstances are different to when you took out the mortgage? Have you got enough accounts for the bank to consider using your income? I'd speak to your bank or a financial advisor in the first instance.
If it it were me I'd stay where you are, but I'm risk averse.

orangegato · 16/12/2022 10:49

Do it, port the mortgage as you keep the interest rates you have. I’ll be doing this in a year or so, it can be done and life’s to short.

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