DSS had his birthday more than a month ago.
He and his brother live with us full time and visit mum sporadically- we take and then collect them.
He admitted to me in confidence tonight that he was a bit angry at his mum as during the last visit to see her, his birthday wasn’t mentioned at all. Not even a card.
I know she recently had to stop working for a bit due to illness and was really strapped for cash.
She’s starting work again soon but I have a feeling his birthday won’t be mentioned again.
He was quite badly ‘done to’ last year as well and his younger sibling seemed to get all the expensive presents earlier in the year and he got some new joggers and a hoodie.
Anyway.. I don’t want to discuss this with anyone I know as I don’t want DSS to ever find out ..
Would it be a good idea if I (I’ll call and check she agrees to it first) send her a note with a bday card and some money in it- for her to give him on their next visit?
Or is this asking for trouble in the long run?
My DP would definitely not agree to me doing this (mum doesn't pay anything towards the kids) - but I love my DSS and I hate him feeling hurt.
He’s faced enough hurt and rejection from his mum to last a life time - but I know she loves him and he loves her.
But will me trying to protect him hurt him more in the long term or should I just be thinking in the now?