To ask me to move seat.

[cococarryon]

I need to know if I'm being precious here.

I am 6 months pregnant and quite big already, this is my third child and I am a mid-size girl. I tend to carry quite a lot of water and quite big each pregnancy.

My question is..

Me and my partner went to pick up his friend the other day, me and our two children were being dropped off somewhere and my partner was going somewhere with his friend. My two kids are both in child seats as they are 3 and 6. Before my partners friend came out he asked if I wouldn't mind sitting in the back in the middle of the kids so his friend can sit in the front.

Now I'm in no way the sort of person who wants to be treated differently because I'm pregnant I've done it before and I'm more than capable of most things but I was a bit taken back by this. I thought firstly, I'm bigger than usual as it is so would be uncomfortable for me to squeeze into the middle of two car seats, and secondly, why does the friend get priority over me in my own car.

Am I being pathetic? It started a bit of a row as I said to him that I'm going to ignore what he said, his friend is probably 7 stone soaking wet so would have no problem sitting in the back, plus he's a nice guy and would just appreciate the lift.
I'm a bit hormonal these days and not sure if I've been a bit silly. Everything blew over and is fine but it's on my mind.

Thanks!

Erm, no - your partner is a dick.

I think perhaps your dp was a little thoughtless.
unless there is a bigger back story?
Or maybe his friend isn’t comfortable around dcs?

No, he was an insensitive wanker, and should not have even considered asking. Maybe if it was an aged grandparent who would struggle to manoeuvre in, it’s an ok ask…

IDK I personally wouldn’t expect any adult to sit between 2 kids they’re not related to. My suggestion would have been you drive, DP does the uncomfortable scrabble, his mate goes in the front and he swaps with you when you reach wherever it is you’re going!

WTF no YANBU.

YANBU at all, although I’m fascinated to know what a “mid-sized” girl is!

His friend has two children under 2 so is great with kids, so that wouldn't be an issue. He's also a close family friend so knows us and our children well.

I would usually drive but we were in his home town which he knows the way around and I don't so he's usually designated driver when we are there but I wouldn't have minded driving at all!

I feel like a plank for thinking it wasn't the nicest thing he could have done but glad it's not just me

I was in a side impact collision once when very pregnant. The car crumpled into my bump. In the front of the car, I walked away from it. If I’d been crammed between two car seats in the back, I doubt I’d have a toddler. So I wouldn’t consider it.

Maybe your kids would be more comfortable with you sitting with them. I think it's fair enough

@SavoirFlair haha well it's what the internet has told me I am I guess. I'm a 12-14.. I would personally consider myself plus size definitely at this point but basically I'm not very petite 😄

Size 12-14 isnt plus size, it's pretty average

I think men (and a lot of women who haven’t been pregnant) can be a bit obtuse about pregnancy and how it can physically affect people. Most pregnant women just get on with things and absorb the extra effort, the changes to your centre of gravity, the uncomfortableness and tiredness with the least fuss they can and that means that others don’t realise how much work is involved in just being pregnant.

YWN at all U to refuse to sit in the back. He was a tit to row with you about it after you’d said it would be too much given your condition. Unless he has form for being like this a lot, you should just put it behind you and forget about it. It’s just a blip that’s not worth stewing over.

(If he has a history of similar, you need to start reassessing your long term plans - this sort of thing almost never gets better).

You should sit where most practical and comfortable for you.
He sounds a prick