Reasons to leave

[prinad]

Currently on the brink of splitting. Have 2 DC, 3 & 8yrs.

Married 8 years. He's been a big drinker the entire time and ruined many events and moments for me.

He does all the cooking and laundry whilst I do all childcare, we both work. He can can be caring and kind deep down but has another mean and spiteful side.

Partner has not spoken to me for 5 weeks. I have been totally stonewalled after a minor argument and I just don't think I can come back from this.

Earlier this year, due to stitches after birth I do sometimes stain my underwear. Partner told friends that came over he found skid marks in my pants

There are many many more stories that make me sad and upset. But would these two incidents make you want to leave?

Yes.

Yes. But you don’t need strangers to validate your choice. If you want to leave, whatever the reasons, you leave.

Well yes

Anyone with a fraction of self esteem would be gone once he made the skid mark comment

@Pinksalty not looking for validation. I want a sense check to see if my level of what I tolerate has just been way too low.

The incident that happened earlier in the year would be a line drawn. Unforgivable. Evil sod imo.

Lovely. I would have gone even before the skidmark comment. The big drinking thing would have been the thing for me.

But the silent treatment and deliberate humiliation would have done it, even without the drinking. Make a plan and put it in place.

You'll be happier and relieved once you've done it and he's gone.

Get your finances in order and get yourself down to a solicitor. Make sure you have your and dc passports, birth certificates, your wedding certificate and you will be in control when you go.

The relief you will feel will be unbelievable. You deserve so much better.

Good luck. You've got this.

Yes, underwear comment is unforgivable. The drinking etc, no, leave OP - you won’t regret it

Yes I would leave.
No question.
I'd be gone.

He's not standing proud by your side or has your back. He is not your acting like your partner...

P.s. Contributing to the household tasks is not a bonus point for him.

I'd have been done after he told his friends that.

And now, with 5 weeks of no talking? You need to get yourself and your DCs out of there; this is not a healthy man emotionally.

Has a drink problem, enjoys deliberately humiliatiating you (re pants comment), and refuses to speak to you for FIVE weeks! Five weeks! Leaving is surely the better option, what a horrible man.

The silent treatment is a known form of abuse. Heavy drinking is not conducive to a happy, respectful relationship. Neither is the pants thing. There’s your answer.

Go and get your life back girl.

So he cooks and cleans.
Big f deal.

He's an absolute cunt. YANBU.

5 weeks? Fuck that you deserve so much better.
He sounds like an absolute waste of space and l would rather do my own cooking and cleaning than tolerate an abusive prick.