AIBU?
Reasons to leave
prinad · 28/09/2022 20:02
Currently on the brink of splitting. Have 2 DC, 3 & 8yrs.
Married 8 years. He's been a big drinker the entire time and ruined many events and moments for me.
He does all the cooking and laundry whilst I do all childcare, we both work. He can can be caring and kind deep down but has another mean and spiteful side.
Partner has not spoken to me for 5 weeks. I have been totally stonewalled after a minor argument and I just don't think I can come back from this.
Earlier this year, due to stitches after birth I do sometimes stain my underwear. Partner told friends that came over he found skid marks in my pants
There are many many more stories that make me sad and upset. But would these two incidents make you want to leave?
Pinksalty · 28/09/2022 20:06
Yes. But you don’t need strangers to validate your choice. If you want to leave, whatever the reasons, you leave.
candycaneframe · 28/09/2022 20:08
Well yes
Anyone with a fraction of self esteem would be gone once he made the skid mark comment
prinad · 28/09/2022 20:08
@Pinksalty not looking for validation. I want a sense check to see if my level of what I tolerate has just been way too low.
nancydroo · 28/09/2022 20:09
The incident that happened earlier in the year would be a line drawn. Unforgivable. Evil sod imo.
Chicheguevara · 28/09/2022 20:18
Lovely. I would have gone even before the skidmark comment. The big drinking thing would have been the thing for me.
But the silent treatment and deliberate humiliation would have done it, even without the drinking. Make a plan and put it in place.
Annabananna1 · 28/09/2022 20:19
You'll be happier and relieved once you've done it and he's gone.
jocktamsonsbairn · 28/09/2022 20:26
Get your finances in order and get yourself down to a solicitor. Make sure you have your and dc passports, birth certificates, your wedding certificate and you will be in control when you go.
The relief you will feel will be unbelievable. You deserve so much better.
Darbs76 · 28/09/2022 20:29
Yes, underwear comment is unforgivable. The drinking etc, no, leave OP - you won’t regret it
thefartingfish · 28/09/2022 20:35
He's not standing proud by your side or has your back. He is not your acting like your partner...
P.s. Contributing to the household tasks is not a bonus point for him.
bringbackveronicamars · 28/09/2022 20:45
I'd have been done after he told his friends that.
And now, with 5 weeks of no talking? You need to get yourself and your DCs out of there; this is not a healthy man emotionally.
Shortname · 28/09/2022 21:20
Has a drink problem, enjoys deliberately humiliatiating you (re pants comment), and refuses to speak to you for FIVE weeks! Five weeks! Leaving is surely the better option, what a horrible man.
Clarinet1 · 28/09/2022 21:33
The silent treatment is a known form of abuse. Heavy drinking is not conducive to a happy, respectful relationship. Neither is the pants thing. There’s your answer.
Cosmos123 · 28/09/2022 21:37
Go and get your life back girl.
So he cooks and cleans.
Big f deal.
Soproudoflionesses · 28/09/2022 21:45
5 weeks? Fuck that you deserve so much better.
He sounds like an absolute waste of space and l would rather do my own cooking and cleaning than tolerate an abusive prick.
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