Feel sad when I look at pics of my lockdown baby

[downnner20]

Wondered if anyone else feels like this when they look back at pics of their lockdown babies ?

I suppose it depends on the experience you had.

My baby was a few weeks old when we went into lockdown, but only a few days old when the covid hysteria started to take off.

It was my first baby and I took the whole covid thing really badly. I thought we were going to die if we got covid during those early weeks. I was an absolute wreck for months and months and months. I couldn't eat. I thought everyone I knew was going to get covid and very possibly die. I thought my baby would die from covid. I just couldn't get a grip at all.

I sanitised like crazy, was scared to go for a walk and was just.. like I said.. an absolute wreck. For the first while I couldn't eat anything. Every tickle in my throat or every time anyone around me cleared their throat or coughed, sent me into an absolute panic. It was truly awful. I could not get a grip. All I did was read about covid and how to protect myself and my family.

When I look at photos of my baby during that time, I get really upset. I never want to go back to that time. It was so dark. Do you think that will affect my baby ? Now a toddler. I did my best to look after her of course. I never neglected her etc. would this affect her ?

I feel really really sad when I think about that time. I try not to. I hope we never have to live through something like that again.

I've heard people say they had a good time with their babies, as they had all this uninterrupted time etc. I didn't appreciate that at all. I was just in a panic. I've had another baby now, in more normal times and it's so much nicer. I'm enjoying it so much more. It makes me sad that I never experienced that with my first baby. However, it's all good. In the grand scheme of things, it could always be worse.

Can anyone relate ?

It sounds really hard for all the new mums and babies from lockdown especially the early days and you are totally allowed to feel sad and angry and worried. But I would take it as your responsibility to contain that feeling and not let its spill over to your child. They won't know any different and things will have been "normal" for most of their lives.

Totally understand, op, I try not to think about it as I get so angry and upset for what we missed. My Dd was 1,6 when it all started, we’d built up a lovely network of mum and toddler pals, did swimming lessons, play dates etc…a really happy time. It all hit and I was filled with anxiety too, I also got long covid and quite badly…there are whole months afterwards that I have no real memory of 😔I remember just trying to get through the days the best I could. We missed out on so many lovely summer experiences and happy times

@MereDintofPandiculation this is really not the same at all.

@Violettaa the people who made the rules also broke the rules and should be out of power

I was pregnant with my IVF baby. Tbh I just felt grateful because people had their IVF completely stopped and delayed so I was just in time.

Then my baby was born in June and I was grateful that he wasn't a toddler or a young child having to sit in day after day during an important time in his social development.

There were downsides - no classes, partner couldn't visit during our week in hospital, no family 😢 but I always felt there were people worse off.

Sounds like you had bad anxiety. I'm glad you had a better experience with baby 2.

I can absolutely relate. My husband was ECV so we were really stressed, and my baby had feeding difficulties which were really hard to deal with under lockdown conditions - she's so skinny in the early photos.

I've had counselling but tbh the most effective thing has been to change the settings on my Google photos so that I don't get bombarded with "memories" of that time.

You feel sad when you look at the photos because you were sad at the itme and it brings back memories. But babies are basic little creatures. So long as you fed, cuddles, cleaned and kept her warm, that;s all she needed for the first few months. I had terrible PND but managed despite this to look after DC very well and cuddle them a lot. I don't think it harmed them. I hope not.

I had my second during covid and I wasn't worried about catching covid etc after the first few months of pregnancy but I found the isolation after I had him really hard. I hated that family didn't get to meet him for a long time, I hated the isolation and generally found it hard. I remember being almost angry at a friend who had hers 5 months after me and got to have her husband at the hospital more, got to have family meet her child so soon after and generally had a much more normal maternity leave. I know none of that was her fault but at the time I was so irrationally annoyed about it all.

I had a lockdown baby and it was horrendous. I didn't lose my mind over Covid but the restrictions on seeing people and the closures of any places to visit / baby groups etc really affected my mental health. The 2nd lockdown through the winter was the worst period. The torture of every day with a 6 month old baby and being literally locked in your house with only the supermarket or B&Q to go to was absolutely soul destroying. Yet while my situation was bad I think about the elderly and the dying who were denied visits from their families and that makes me feel an absolute fury.

I'm very angry about what was done and it has made me disconnect from politics. The lockdowns were absurd political decisions with vast repercussions which we're all going to be suffering from for years to come. And judging by the behaviour of our politicians it looks like they all knew it at the time. I will never forgive it.

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this.

Please try to look forward to all the precious memories you're yet to create. Your baby/toddler won't even know they missed out on anything back in 2020, all they care is that they had their mummy when they needed them.

My DS was 6 months old when lockdown started and I'd only just gained enough confidence to start taking him out by myself. It does make me feel sad that we missed out on so much, but I'm also thankful that I didn't have a toddler when lockdown started.

Yes. I feel quite irritated by any sort of child professional who attempts to explain my children's (insert anything) now because I was with them 24.7 and they literally know nothing about them.

I question why we ever needed "expert" advice because in the two years locked in, I had to solve any issues by myself. (unless you count a chat on the phone to discuss a tongue tie etc) Challenge excepted and quite frankly - excelled in.

Baffled that I was able to be seen by any professional but my baby couldn't be. That had to be a telephone chit-chat.

It was shit and yes I know what you mean. DC2 was 1 month old when lockdown started. It breaks my heart what both DC went through. But. They both seem fine now, happy at nursery and school. I honestly think they don't even really remember. I do but I don't talk about it, no good would come from dwelling on the past.

There's no law that says you have to look at baby photos if it upsets you. Keep them for future but don't torture yourself now, there's no point to that. You survived, breathe a sigh of relief and try to find joy in the present.

I feel you. The winter was particularly awful. Walking round cold rainy parks just to get out the house. A hidden army of mostly mums with prams trying to keep sane.

I'm exactly the same, I can't look at the baby pics because it makes me feel so sad, I'd like to look at them and feel joy. Sorry I don't have any advice on how to make that happen. Occasionally I look at them and just try and focus on the good points as they were there but it's hard xx

I had a lockdown baby but there was no hysteria. It was just a pain the arse not being able to have family help out. Now I look back on it and thinkg 'that was weird' rather than with sadness.

I feel angry about it all. How older children’s education was thrown on the scrapheap, how new parents had no help, how we were expected to entertain young kids and work, how many kids have lost their relationship with covid-obsessed grandparents. It has destroyed lives and seems like such a waste of time and opportunity.

I can totally relate as I had a baby born a few weeks before lockdown and really struggled . I felt really sad that we missed out on so much, seeing family, baby groups etc. i was also really worried about catching covid and being too ill to look after her.

It was a really shit time and I try not to think about it too much.

I totally get this OP. I feel the same in some ways. I look back and just cannot believe that in all of my planning to have a baby at the 'right time', I ended up giving birth a couple of months before a bloody pandemic! We had it 'easy' in so many ways but it was still incredibly difficult to become a new parent without any support. It still upsets me that my close family never were able to get to know my child during the baby stage, it felt like such a long, long time, and so many of my loved ones missed really lovely stages of his early life.

I know we were lucky to make it through but it's still okay to feel sad about it. So much of what you expect when you have a new baby was taken away. No support, groups, socialisation, family support. The main thing that makes me less sad is that I'm glad I didn't go through pregnancy and birth during the pandemic and I'm glad he was a tiny baby instead of a toddler or older child (honestly don't know how people coped in those situations), but yeah, it was horrible. A lot of people are still traumatised by that time period and struggling with the after effects.

Aw. Poor you. It was a uniquely tough time to be a new mum. At the time I hated the isolation. Like others say, I felt lonely and anxious and vividly remember trying to meet other mums for distanced walks in winter 2020 and my baby screaming because it was so cold. Once I even breastfed in the snow to calm my baby, which was so depressing! I also remember people talking to me about their own lockdown related stresses like my baby didn’t exist! I think because nobody had met the baby or seen me pregnant, they kind of forgot about them! I didn’t get many baby presents either as everyone was waiting to see me (some five months later!) so I just felt forgotten.

Now I look back it was the greatest blessing for our family in many ways. My partner has been WFH since March 2020 and is a true co-parent and partner in a way I could never have imagined. I had him every step of the way and I’ve never felt like the primary caregiver just for being at home (I’ve always worked from home) They’re so close and bonded that I can’t imagine what it would be like if dad was only home for bath and bedtimes. Appreciate we’re lucky to have this set up.

Nope. My lockdown baby experience was great, and so much better than my experience of having my eldest, pre covid! It was so much less stressful when couldn't go anywhere or do anything!

It was a terrible time to be the mother of a baby or toddler and it's okay to mourn that. In fact, I'm only just recognising that burying that grief has just made it worse.

We had a Covid toddler, she was almost 1 and just entering a lovely phase of us being able to take her out and about easily as she had previously been miserable due to reflux and colic. I entirely missed out on toddler groups with a crawling/ toddling child and am bitter about that, as I don't have any family and was relying on that sort of thing to socialize her and meet other mums.

Oh I am not suggesting that experiences shouldn’t be shared. I agree it was a totally shit time and it’s quite difficult to establish a hierarchy of who had it worst as it was just all so generally awfull.

I suppose I thought the OP was feeling guilt and my point was that every parent was in the same boat and all we can do now is our best and push forward