AIBU to unfriend lots of mumsnetters on Facebook?
FlamingoAtBingo · 27/09/2022 22:52
I've been here on and off a long time. 15 years or so. And, back in the day, I was somewhat more social than I am now and met with some mumsnetters and added others that I was on long running threads with
Now, nobody on here knows me which is just how I like it (although I enjoy name spotting myself on the 'who's your favourite past mumsnetter' threads )
Anyway, I have quite a few mumsnetters as Facebook friends. Maybe 20 or so, they've been there over 10 years. And they'll pop up in my messenger or newsfeed with all sorts of news - usually doom and gloom stuff and so and so being really unwell or such and such having a terrible time
I feel awful but I don't want to know. I've had various things going on in recent times that have caused me anxiety and being told that a mutual
Mumsnet friend is dying or having a horrible time is just more than I can mentally take right now
I suppose I'm saying I want to shrink my world to those people I actually properly know in real life -
Not those I've met once or twice if at all.
But they've been 'there' for years. And I feel all flustered and mean about it. And then I get a message telling me more bad news and I resolve to quietly delete these people but feel mean - and the cycle continues
Thoughts? Am I an awful person? WWYD?
yourestandingonmyneck · 28/09/2022 01:09
I agree with @CheezePleeze.
This is in poor taste. Why did you have to mention, on mumsnet, that they are mumsnetters?
I do, however, understand where you are coming from in not having the mental as l energy to deal with the issues of people you do not know in real life. So either just delete or unfollow.
NoSpice · 28/09/2022 04:34
Just delete them without drama.
Im only an occasional Facebook use but go by the rule, if I bumped into this person on the street would we stop and chat? Would I be comfortable showing them photos of my children if they asked how they were? Would I invite them into my house? Would I be happy to grab a coffee with them and catch up? Do I want to find out what’s going on in their life?
If no, they get deleted. Nothing personal I just keep my Facebook circle fairly limited and friendships change over time.
I never make a big thing or drama over it. I doubt anyone notices!
sponsabillaries · 28/09/2022 04:35
Apartofnotapart · 27/09/2022 23:29
I don’t understand how you’ve added them as friends on Fb from here? Do you mean you private messaged and exchanged details 🤷🏻♀️
Are you not worried some may see this post 🙈
Back when all this were fields and MN was a much smaller community there used to be regular meet-ups in real life and it was quite normal for MNers to strike up friendships, add each other on FB, join private FB groups etc.
CornishTiger · 28/09/2022 06:10
CheezePleeze · 27/09/2022 23:04
This thread is in really poor taste in case whoever is dying/ill/having a hard time recognises themselves, and even if they don't, it may well cause paranoia.
It's your Facebook account, just delete who you want without making this public song and dance about it.
U didn’t need to be so specific.
Saucery · 28/09/2022 06:43
Genuinely do see the problem. I delete people who don’t interact, whose views are constantly posted over and over about single issues, who argue rather than discuss etc.
Some of them have been MNers in the last, some work colleagues, some from hobbies. It’s really not a big deal!
WomanStanleyWoman2 · 28/09/2022 08:39
FlamingoAtBingo · 27/09/2022 23:02
I could hide them, it's true. And some I have done.
But this leads me to just think 'what's the point?'
Maybe I am overthinking this
Only when it comes to social media do I see this whole “But what’s the point?” handwringing. Either you don’t want to be in contact anymore, so you delete them, or you can’t face seeing their posts at the moment but don’t want to offend them, so you unfollow them. You don’t need to search for some mythical point to it all. It’s not as if you have a finite FB friend list and everyone has to justify their importance in order to secure a precious place.
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