AIBU to ask how to get baby to sleep more than 9 hours at night?

[Needtimeandspace]

She used to be a great sleeper, sleeping through the night from about 14 weeks and not wanting a night feed. She still sleeps solidly for the full nine hours sometimes now at 8 months. But for weeks and weeks, I haven't been able to get her to sleep longer than 9 hours at night and 2.5 hours during the day. No matter what I do, I can't get her to sleep past 4.30 am. She lies wide awake in the cot for hours, either shouting or crying, and nothing makes her back to sleep.

I've tried everything: more awake time, less awake time, later bedtimes, earlier bedtimes, three naps a day then two naps and then back to three naps, tiring her out, fresh air, feeding her to sleep even though she doesn't need it or really want it..everything. It's been too long now to be a regression, surely? I don't know what to do. The 4/5 am starts are killing me. I work in a school, and I am shattered every day. It's all so exhausting.

Does anyone have any tips? I'm worried for her because nine hours doesn't seem enough for her, and also it's not enough for me. If I put her to bed later then she's still up at 4.30 so she gets even less than 9 hours and doesn't make up for it during the day.

Am I being unreasonable to think I can diagnose the problem or to search for a solution?

A quick google suggests normal sleep for an 8 month old is 12-15 hours a day. Your DD is getting 11.5 hours, so only a little under. Are you sure you don't just have a baby that needs less sleep? If that's the case then the only way you'll extend night sleep isnby cutting day time naps, when I've done that it's either by not putting them down for their last nap or by waking them early from it.

The only other thing I can think of is if she's always waking at the same time no matter what her bed time, could it be hunger driven? When is her last meal?

What time are you going to bed? Simplest solution in the short term might be to go to bed earlier and pick up chores / work you might otherwise have done in the evening in the morning instead.

I think you just need to ride it out. Go to bed eaelier! It's pretty good that she is sleeping 9 hours solid anyway, my 13 month old doesn't sleep that long yet!!

Sounds like she is still having 2 naps a day. Cut it down to 1 one hour nap. Try it for at least a week.

I would suggest you go to bed earlier for the time being, so you also get 8-9 hours.

This, if it's any consolation my non sleeper turned out to be super intelligent.

We had this with DS too; Tommee
Tippee black out blinds worked instantly and gave us another hour - couple of people recommended this and I was skeptical as he has black out curtains anyway but it did make a difference.

The only other thing that’s made a difference is, infuriatingly, time. Roll forward 2/3 months and he’s now going to 6/6.30, sometimes 7am. Nothing else has changed (he’s 15 months btw) and goes to bed at 6.30/7pm and also still has 2 naps.

when he was waking early, I’d go in with a straw water cup and teddy bear so he could have water if thirsty (i always wake up thirsty) and play with a teddy - this sometimes meant he went back to sleep for another 45 mins too.

Around 10 months my eldest had a habit of 4.30/5 am wake ups- in the end we stuck her in the bouncer watching baby tv whilst we dozed next to her on the sofa. She grew out of it.
it’s hell at the time though- you have my sympathies!

My DS went through phases of this when younger - months of half 4 wake ups, then 6am, then back to 5am... Now nearly 4 he'll sleep until about half 5/6 but I've never managed to get it later than that. He's just an earlier waker than other kids.

I used to stick DD in bed with me and I could doze for an hour or two, then she started going back to sleep, then eventually I got her to stay in her cot. She also woke up every 1-2hrs during the night so it was hell. I can't look at photos of me in that period because I look so bloody tired.

I'm pro sleep training but at 4am I'll always take the easy option.

You have to go to bed earlier, you can't force babies to sleep longer.

What time does your boiler come on? My kids were always disturbed by the boiler at the wrong point in a sleep cycle.

My baby would wake at about 5am and the only way to get her to sleep was to bring her in the bed with me.

She always fell right off to sleep that way and we both got another few hours xx

We always brought DC into out bed with us when they woke at 4:30. They’d feed for a bit and then go back to sleep. If they’d didn’t go back to sleep then atleast we’d have longer lying down!

Try an earlier bedtime for her and just one nap a day.

Though mine all went through a 5am stage I’m sorry to say.

Ds has never slept more than 9/10 hrs max overnight. He’s now 2.5 years. Now sleeps 8.30/9pm-6.30am max.

I have to say, it seems loads, at 8 months he would go at 9pm and wake every 90mins still until 6am, then still have only two 30 min naps..

Some just need less sleep

I have no idea, I’ve got a 7 year old who still wakes 5-5.30, everyday. Sometimes earlier. Always has done. I’m chronically tired!

@ChocolateSpreadOnToast does your 7yo like reading?
My 8yo has always been an early riser but now he’s not allowed up until 6:30 so he reads in bed.

Eight month sleep regression? If it’s any consolation at eight months mine woke up at that time but woke hourly through the night and 2.5 hours of day napping was like a cruel myth I read about on the internet.

Shorten the day sleep, go to bed earlier, it could all be a lot worse, this too shall pass.

I agree that unfortunately most people have to ride it out. It can seem relentless to go to bed so early, you lose your evenings, but at least you will get enough sleep.

Drop to one day time nap after lunch . Initially she will be shattered by 11am but ride it out.
Most babies are awake by 5:30 I’m afraid. Mine were 5 am starts . It’s exhausting…

Talk to a sleep consultant - but she’s probably just napping too much in the day.

Babies often don’t sleep through consistently for years up til pre school years - it’s normal and part of their development. Babies also shouldn’t be expected to just nap round the clock either.

Are you sure she isn’t waking because she is cold? With my DS at a similar age, I found that if I woke up at about 4 and made sure he was properly covered up etc he would then stay asleep until 7

Remember that a sleep regression at 8 months is normal.

Neither of my children ever reached the recommended sleep, and consistently came in a few hours under. I tried everything, some kids just don't sleep as much.

But there is an 8 month sleep regression. My son also had six months of 4:30 wake ups (it's hell, I know), but it corrected itself eventually.

Drop a nap and just wait it out. My sons did not sleep through the night until around 2. Kids are different. One son is a light sleeper and it's still torture at times.