To think if you are a family of 4 and struggling on £100k…

[LetMeSpeak]

That it is purely down to mismanagement.

I saw a debate on social media and I also know a few people on 6 figure salaries, have extremely nice houses and cars. Yet complain that they are stuggling the same way others with less money. Aibu to think if you are really struggling even in this economy, a lot of it is due to mismanagement with your money?

Ours is just shy of £100k, but DH has a work pension which takes a bloody great whack of his money, plus the tax man gets his big chunk.

Between us, money in our hand is more akin to a £50k income. We're in the london commuter belt so he can work in london so mortgage is £££. We don't have a massive house, no spare bedrooms..we could downsize and make the 3 kids share a room, but due to price increases it would cost us the same as we bought this house for so absolutely no point.

Our cars are older, the family car is almost 5 years old and DHs car (which he needs as he works shifts in emergency services and we have to drive to kids schools) is almost 13 years old.

We cant afford to go out, we dont spend on clothes and havent had a holiday since 2007. We so have areas we can tighten our cloth, tv subscriptions for example. But already shop is Aldi and watch money like a hawk.

Life is getting expensive for everyone, clearly it's a sliding scale but those who lived to their £100l salary cant just suddenly spend less. Selling a house and buying a new one for example costs thousands! Cars on HP cant be sold and giving the car back might not be an option as they might need that car. Not many bus services run at 4am when DH has to leave for work for example.

When we were on a £25k income we thought people on £100k would be off to Aruba every weekend and living on smoked salmon and caviar. Now we know that isnt the case.

I do know we are lucky with DHs pension, but fuck me not paying so much out each month would be nice.

Well you’re maybe not struggling in the same sense that people who really can’t afford to heat or eat are.

But you are still entitled to complain about the government asset stripping the nation, doing nothing concrete about the cost of living crisis, in particular energy prices which it could help with a lot, and giving tax cuts to the very wealthy. Plus fucking the environment and insider dealing with their mates.

So no, you’re clearly not poor if your household earns that but you are entitled to complain about the government’s financial mismanagement and expect better from our so called leaders.

You live in an area where a small house costs over a million pounds and are trying to persuade us you have no choice. You sound completely ridiculous.

I think the point is OP that someone with a family income of £100k is likely to have greater outgoings than a family on a lower joint income not because they are mos managing their money but because they may have a larger mortgage, more expensive holidays, schools fees etc.

So can I ask, who is still going to vote Conservative?
Genuine question.

Sympathy and compassion are not finite resources.

amen

Would be fine if you can just move and sell your assets in a couple of days. But that's not possible. You can't just sell your house if you are going to incur a £30k early repayment charge for example. And if you have school fees you have committed to the payment etc. Seems harsh to say these people have brought it on themselves simply because they like many others failed to predict the crisis.

I don't think you've thought it through because they may have very high outgoings which are difficult to control (e.g. mortgage, childcare, commute costs) so could find it difficult to cut back without drastic changes.

Plus, I and most other people never discuss salaries, how do you know what they are on, or is it a guess? And honestly if I was asked if I'm struggling by someone I'd say something like "yes it is difficult isn't it" because I don't want to seem a senseless twat so will be empathetic. In reality, at the moment, luckily it's not a struggle for us.

Why is it rude to discuss on an anonymous internet site? I’d agree if you’re lecturing your friends about the cost of living and how they’re mismanaging but it’s reasonable to suggest there isn’t a lot of sympathy around compared to some who have it far worse. All sorts of issues are discussed on Mumsnet in a way that we’d never do IRL.

Having more money almost always gives you more choices.
However I always think it seems really naive when people say "just move to a cheaper area/downsize" as a means of saving (or gaining) money.
Of course it makes sense to live in an affordable (to the individual ) area. But for a start, moving house is in no way instant and often there are upfront costs before you begin to see any savings/gains.
Secondly there is often a reason why an area might be cheaper - no train station/poorer transport options, fewer amenities, no secondary school etc.
So you could move to a cheaper area and have lower housing costs....only to spend the difference on driving to a station and parking, higher rail fares, spending more on fuel or bus fares to take kids to school etc.

Downsizing in the same area is dependent on having buyer for a large house (and I imagine fewer people are uprising at the current time)

People with expensive cars might be tied into lease deals with a financial penalty for ending the contract early, similarly (and I admit I do not know how private schools are set up) you might have to give a term notice if you took children out of school.

There will be some people on all incomes who can't manage their money properly, and people with higher incomes are likely to have wiggle room to turn things around (pp who listed their outgoings had several "optional" things but they may have been tied into contracts) but it's not as black and white to say 100k is definitely enough for any family of 4.

I think that is refreshingly honest. More so than a lot of the posters here.

I’ll say this, having being skint skint eight years ago and now having had a bit of money for a few years, but in this economy having to tighten my belt, I’d much rather be tightening my belt rather then worrying if I’ll be able to buy a tub of Aptimil.

YABU. Plenty of people earn a lot but pay very high rents and get no help. Plenty of people who don't earn a lot live in very big, low rent, social housing and are heavily subsidised by lots of benefits. Often they end up with similar incomes after essential costs. It's not as simple as high income = well off these days.

The problem is credit. The more you earn, the more credit you are offered and at the best rates, but buying things on credit is just as irresponsible when you're wealthy as when you are poor. I think other than a house, you should never buy something you do not have the money for. I'm poor and I paid cash for my car.

I actually couldn't - I earn enough to live where I live.

No - people tend to live somewhere towards the limit of their means though. What was affordable last year is much less affordable now. No matter how much you earn. For example I send one DC to a school that is not accessible on public transport and have to drive. When calculating the costs at the time it was doable. Now that petrol cost is eating a much bigger chunk of our monthly income. The mortgage has gone up - all the things we committed to and could easily afford 3 years ago / 8 years ago now take up a much bigger portion of our income because our income has not risen in line with our expenditure. Not because we are being slack with money.

Would you say is was good management to have insurance policies, life cover etc? That also costs money.

Also - perhaps you think everyone should just get the smallest possible house, live the most meagre possible existence, not have a pension. Where does the motivation to even earn 100k come from if you can never actually enjoy it or invest for the future? Sorry, but fuck that for a game of soldiers.

Lots of people on higher incomes will also have savings and investments - for the future / pension & not want to liquidate them to have to heat/eat now so will be trying to cut their cloth on things that aren't "necessities" - all the fun things in other words. So yes - you can be on 100k and still be finding it difficult.

If you had nothing and now you have even less - that is obviously a much much worse position to be in. But in your eyes is that also due to mismanagement of some sort??

Yep, I have always been among the lowest earners in the country (never made over £12k per year) yet I have thousands in savings safety net (been homeless before and dont plan on ending up like that again) and feel like we want for nothing and lived like that fine for a decade.

We certainly dont live a life of luxuary, a holiday for us was ryanair and a cheap motel or a uk caravan park, I drive a 20 year old car and non of us have the latest Iphones or wear Nike airs etc... but we enjoy our life pefectly fine.

Granted when I got married and my partner moved in he brough his £18k income in too (although with 2 pregnancies in 3 years my self employed income has dropped for my previous £12k down to £6k now and added 2 more to our family).

Yet I feel much worse off now in general and like I struggle more even though our household income of £24k (double my old income) because he make decision I never would which I can see as bad finiacial choices.

Ontop of that our tax went up which takes a chunk too (as someone erning under £12k I wasnt previously taxed as I was under the minumum band).

I definately think my DH lack of money skills (such as buying a car with a loan he knew couldnt really afford and taking out an expensive phone contract and his expensive bloody hobbies) and thats the cruix of our issue.

So yes majoritively I believe its bad management (although tax sucks too) that drags people down. However trying to talk people like my DH out of throwing money away is like banging your head on a wall.

@Penguinsaregreat never have, never will 🤷‍♀️

@lannistunut I know... And I am saying that after housing (in my case rent in a pretty shit area) there are not real choice left at all. No mismanagement to be had. No private shcools or second cars, or regular take aways. talking about 80,000 pounds. So 100,0000 (discounting taxes) cannot be that great, if you pay rent in London or childcare

I agree it's all relative and no doubt everyone is feeling the effect of rising costs ... but people still make choices - ie; why have 2/3 or more children? Why live in an expensive part of the country? Why have a pet that only eats expensive food? .

We have always been very careful and risk adverse, moved away from an expensive part of the country - yes, away from family and friends but meant we could buy a nice house in a much cheaper part of the country, agreed to have just one DC, never had pets etc etc.

It is very tone deaf to 'complain' if you are on £100K even if you are feeling the pinch.

This. We have little over 100k income. We could easily spend it all on a bigger house and newer car but our 2 bed terrace and 8 year old mini are perfectly adequate. There's plenty in our budget we could cut back on if need be - mortgage overpayment, extra pension savings, holidays, home improvements. 100k should not be a struggle unless you have 2-3 kids in FT childcare.

I am in a family of 4 with a £100k+ household salary. We are struggling. Childcare for my 2 kids (nursery) costs almost £3k a month in total (we both work full time). Mortgage is around £1800. Not much left over at the end of the month and we are very much living from pay day to pay day!

I know when my oldest starts school though we'll be okay - I'm not in any way trying to compare my situation to people who are struggling with no way out. We just have to cope for one more year.

So we are on £85k joint, pay £500 pcm childcare, £1500 mortgage (350k house, before you all get excited - that's how much mortgages are these days with a 10% deposit!!) and can afford one (out of school hols!!) holiday a year. There are 3 of us. And I work p/t (4 hours away from f/t) to bring down childcare costs.

What mismanagement are we doing? We share a car, I get no beauty treatments at all, we shop at Morrisons / Tesco / Lidl, I sit in 2 pairs of socks and 2 jumpers to WFH in the winter, we buy all clothes except shoes and underwear second hand. That's before all bills and food.

We save £200 per month - £300 if we're being super frugal.

It all adds up and things are fucking expensive. I just bought ham, cheese, bread, washing up liquid, yoghurt, snack bars and veg to chop up for my kids packed lunch - one weeks worth - that was £20.

How lower income / single parent families do it, I'll never know. If we had another kid we would seriously struggle.

£100k for a household income is not a huge amount, OP. Especially with 2 kids. It's all relative and all it takes is illness / a break up / the boiler to break for that £100k household to be in serious financial trouble.

If my boiler broke tomorrow we'd be fucked. It would take all of our savings.

Oh ffs! Stop looking at others and judging them because they don’t walk in your shoes! If all this bitter energy went into thinking how to help those even less fortunate than you instead of taking cheap pot shots at those with a bit more just imagine how it would feel!

The ruination of our country is complete. Divided over brexit, further divided over covid, now emascerated over energy/cost of living.

just fucking stop bitching and look at what you can do to help those who need it. If we all did a bit, it would help everyone. This is a war we’re all in, some houses sustain more damage, but it’s shit for everyone to varying degrees

We have a household income of £150k and a £1k/month childcare bill (used to be higher), a £2.5k monthly mortgage payment, we are fine for now but only because we make some unusual choices - no car, just bikes with child seats, no pets. If we ran a car and had a puppy as virtually everyone else does around here, we could still cover the basics but wouldn't have much discretionary spend