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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think if you are a family of 4 and struggling on £100k…

429 replies

LetMeSpeak · 26/09/2022 17:08

That it is purely down to mismanagement.

I saw a debate on social media and I also know a few people on 6 figure salaries, have extremely nice houses and cars. Yet complain that they are stuggling the same way others with less money. Aibu to think if you are really struggling even in this economy, a lot of it is due to mismanagement with your money?

OP posts:
ChilliBandit · 27/09/2022 07:47

@InThatCaseCanIHaveARaise - have a read of my post above, it will give you some idea. If I was mortgage and childcare cost free I’d be laughing

Doingmybest12 · 27/09/2022 07:54

What ever you think about struggling if you earn a decent wack then I think it is best to not moan unless you are safely in the company of people in the same circumstances. But of course people make choices about where they live, what cars they drive etc and so can feel they have less cash than others assume.

ChilliBandit · 27/09/2022 08:03

@Doingmybest12 - but it’s ok for someone on a lower wage who bought their house in the 90s and are now mortgage free, so have a much higher disposal income, to moan?

ChilliBandit · 27/09/2022 08:05

Unfortunately I didn’t make the choice to be born before the 90s to be able take advantage of much lower house prices and wage to house price disparity. Silly me eh.

Jmaho · 27/09/2022 08:05

BradPittsLeftTit · 26/09/2022 19:58

OP I trunk YABU and making sweeping generalisations that every high earner has massive mortgages, lives above their means and if they have to tighten their belt it's down to not being able to manage their money. Ridiculous and almost as bad as saying everyone in a low income and struggling should just get a better job and not buy luxuries.

Myself and DH are on £120k but have student loan repayments and high pension contributions so take home does not reflect this

We are in a 4 bed and mortgage is 15% of take home pay. We don't go abroad on holidays, don't have second home and could not afford to send children to private school if they were of age.

We did have savings for our planned second child which are being used for my maternity leave. When I go back to work our savings will be almost depleted

When I return to work there are significant changes to our outgoings that we could not have anticipated, along with some we knew
-childcare costs of 2x nursery fees (expected)
-council tax increase by £60 a month
-dog injury this year means pet insurance up by £70 a month
-expected fuel bill up £550 a month!!
-other insurances up £50 a month

We are able to cope with the above but will not be able to save and will be adjusting our outgoings massively

I am not comparing 'struggling' on £120k with struggling on £30k of course but I really don't understand why you can't see that the cost of living crisis affects us all and that it is not always large mortgages and poor money management.

How is your fuel bill up £550 a month? Have you fixed? We are on standard variable rate with Eon and had the email yesterday with the new cap prices and ours is going up to £350 a month (we pay the same every month) it was £168 a month until our fixed rate ended in May
Then we get the £67 a month knocked off this from the government assistance thing
This is based on the amount of gas and electricity we used last year and on the new price cap rates effective from 1st Oct
We are a family of 6, detached house both wfh. We use a lot of both

Meili04 · 27/09/2022 08:16

Definitely seeing this so many people spend the absolute maximum on houses and cars. Our house is worth 210k we have a joint income of 150k we have 1 child. I always wondered how can people who are less well off seem to have a shiny new build and 2 range rovers. We aren't struggling due to us choosing to be more frugal with the bigger purchases. We will upsize eventually one day but we will be ok we have the income to make cutbacks. Many people on higher incomes don't want to downgrade their lifestyle. Many people don't have that option to cutback who are already struggling.

Ugutff · 27/09/2022 08:21

@Meili04 But surely you appreciate that somewhere like London 200k houses haven't existed for decades. And that's where most of the people on 100k household live.

toomychtiss · 27/09/2022 08:27

@Meili04 surely you are aware that areas where pay is higher house prices tend to be higher?

Is 150k the norm for where you live?

toomychtiss · 27/09/2022 08:28

but it’s ok for someone on a lower wage who bought their house in the 90s and are now mortgage free, so have a much higher disposal income, to moan?

I think so

ChilliBandit · 27/09/2022 08:29

You could buy a run down 1 bed flat in my town for £200k.

InThatCaseCanIHaveARaise · 27/09/2022 08:35

ChilliBandit · 27/09/2022 07:47

@InThatCaseCanIHaveARaise - have a read of my post above, it will give you some idea. If I was mortgage and childcare cost free I’d be laughing

Our income is considerably less, we don’t have those outgoings now but we did, not to the same level but it’s all relative. All the outgoings were there the only difference is that our mortgage was £350 but that was what we could afford at the time and we’ve never moved. When I had my children I returned to work 2 days a week and when they were both in nursery for 2 days I earned about £50 of my salary as the rest would go to the nursery, I just saw it as the price to pay until they started school. If I had gone back full time I just would have been paying more fees, still coming out with hardly anything and not seeing the children so that’s why I worked 2 days. When they were both in school I changed jobs to work school hours and put by the money every month to build up so that I could afford the summer holiday childcare. Our joint income now is £40k (£18+£22) but then it was £28k (£10+£18) your mortgage payment would wipe us out even now. I’m not saying that we’re in a worse situation just that £75-100kpa seems like so much money. My brother earns over £75k and has had to begin again at 50 with a mortgage and debt from his divorce so we’ve probably more disposable income than him. Like I said previously it’s all relative.

Meili04 · 27/09/2022 08:36

Ugutff · 27/09/2022 08:21

@Meili04 But surely you appreciate that somewhere like London 200k houses haven't existed for decades. And that's where most of the people on 100k household live.

Yep but many people will still borrow to the maximum they can even outside London and the South East. Many people have brand new luxury cars they are all over the roads it's not a rare thing to see anymore.

InThatCaseCanIHaveARaise · 27/09/2022 08:39

ChilliBandit · 27/09/2022 08:03

@Doingmybest12 - but it’s ok for someone on a lower wage who bought their house in the 90s and are now mortgage free, so have a much higher disposal income, to moan?

I don’t know if this is aimed at me because nowhere did I moan. I just pointed out that we have a lower income and £100k pa seems like a lot of money to me.

ChilliBandit · 27/09/2022 08:46

@InThatCaseCanIHaveARaise - it’s erm aimed at the poster I tagged?

Sickoffamilydrama · 27/09/2022 08:47

It's very easy to look at people and assume XYZ without really knowing their circumstances.

If you looked at us you'd think well off, which we are but not as well off as we should be on my salary because we are still recovering from the steps we took that got me to this place.

I dropped my salary retrained, DH had to quit work when I first got my new role (DS has SEN and childminder couldn't cope with him) . So 10 years after we started this I'm on a good salary we have a 80k joint income but we don't have much of a buffer.

The difficulty is no one could have predicted Brexit, Covid & a War 1 economic shock is normal but 3 in quick succession not so normal.

We will be fine but I can easily see how it will negatively affect everyone.

Oh and regarding Cars I have a nice EV car it's about 45-55k to buy new but it's not mine it's a company car, great perk but a bit frowned upon to sell if the going gets tough!!!

InThatCaseCanIHaveARaise · 27/09/2022 08:47

ChilliBandit · 27/09/2022 08:05

Unfortunately I didn’t make the choice to be born before the 90s to be able take advantage of much lower house prices and wage to house price disparity. Silly me eh.

And neither did I @ChilliBandit we just bought a house to have a family in. We didn’t buy multiple properties pushing prices up which is what some people did. When we bought it was a big commitment and we had no idea how the property market would change. But don’t worry the value in our home will probably go on care home fees for when my Parkinson’s takes hold fully.

Fairylightsandcinnamon · 27/09/2022 08:49

The fact is wages have not kept up with house price inflation at all. Houses could be bought with just one(low) salary 30-40 years ago. Even if interest rates were higher then, they were applied to a lower principal (borrowed amount). Nowadays, a big standard 3 bed terrace, no parking, along a busy road near me is selling for £450k ( I am in the south east). That is more than 15 times the median pay.it's ridiculous.

Dancingjane · 27/09/2022 08:52

Another 100k thread…

Fairylightsandcinnamon · 27/09/2022 08:52
  • bog standard, not big standard!

Also with the higher interest rates, applied to higher mortgage payments, mortgage bills will be even higher than before.

toomychtiss · 27/09/2022 08:52

Yep but many people will still borrow to the maximum they can even outside London and the South East.

Anyone buying after 08 will have been stress tested until very recently. And for many borrowing the maximum meant it was still more affordable then rent.

ChilliBandit · 27/09/2022 08:56

@toomychtiss - yes this, we bought with a 20% deposit in 2018. Our mortgage is £1,200 a month. Next door (exact same house) rents for £1,650 a month.

toomychtiss · 27/09/2022 08:58

People keep referring to borrowing loads, maxing themselves, overstretching but this was more of a thing pre 2008. And for many of those people it paid off.

Eastangular2000 · 27/09/2022 09:01

LetMeSpeak · 26/09/2022 17:27

But why would a mortgage get a family of 4 in such a bad financial situation. What type of houses are they buying?

i can understand if you are in London. But I’m from the north and people with 100k salaries and the averaged size family sometimes even smaller claiming their struggles are similar to others earning much less just doesn’t sit right with me. Buying a 5 bedroom house for a family of 4 isn’t “living within your means”. Why would you buy such a big house and then complain when it becomes difficult to pay for it.

AIBU to think that if you live in the north and are struggling financially... that's purely down to financial mismanagement?

Do you see how ridiculous that statement is? About as ridiculous as yours!

Sickoffamilydrama · 27/09/2022 09:39

Just a thought but if the bigger earners only spent as if they were an average earner and saved/invested the rest would that not screw our economy wouldn't it be better to encourage them to spend?

I know economics is more complex than that before anyone jumps on me!

toomychtiss · 27/09/2022 09:40

Yes you want people spending particularly when you have a service economy.