For letting DS walk to and from school alone?

[IHaveBeenFallingFor30Minutes]

DS is 11 and in year 7. We live 0.6 miles from the school and DS knows the route. He also walks with a friend who lives 4 doors up.

AIBU for allowing him to walk to and from school alone? 95% of the time we are home when he is so he is not alone.

I am asking because his arsehole father has raised concerns about this and him being home alone as we are going through court at the moment.... this is one thing in a long list of concerns which keep being dismissed so he finds more!

My year 7 walks further than that, I've never walked any of the dc once they got to year 6.

What are those of us with dc at different schools supposed to do 🤣 I think the court will eye roll at him. I'm sure they see this all the time with difficult parents

I guess we are all terrible parents who neglect our DC

It’s all good OP: the more of this idiocy your ex displays the less credible he looks to the court.

You know perfectly well it’s OK for your Ds to walk home.

Round my way primary schools start encouraging the year 5s to walk to/from school on their own and by year 6 it’s the expected norm (fairly small catchment, obvs kids at wraparound care are more likely to need to be dropped and collected by parent en route to work).

The idea is to build some confidence and independence so that by the time they are at high school/year 7 (and likely need to travel a bit further) they already have some of the skills in the bag.

So not only is your ex wrong, he’s actually demonstrating his own ignorance re: normal child development milestones!
Turn it round against him!

Our local primary starts letting the children walk home by themselves in year 4. So we've started the process with our almost 9yo, by the start of year 5 he should be walking himself there and back. But his SEN 12yo brother can't even walk across the road to the shop on his own. So it really does depend on your child, but the vast majority of year 7s should be more than capable of walking to/from school and a couple hours at home by themselves.

Thanks all it makes me feel like less of a crap mum! This is just one of many spurious concerns that have been raised and then dismissed.

I should have said, no SEN issues. I appreciate this may have changed things if there were.

My DD has walked 20 minutes to school since year 6, your ex needs to get a grip!

DD walked a mile and a half to school and a mile and a half home from the age of 11 (no direct public transport) in all weathers, including heavy snow. She was also usually on her own too as she was bullied badly and had no friends. She was actually a late starter - most of the kids were walking to school a year or two earlier.

Mine both (thankfully) took themselves to school at Y7. They both walked at Y5 but primary school was a five min walk away.
They both got the bus to secondary school. Some of their friends had to get two buses to school as it's a grammar with a large catchment area.

I am an oldie and walked to school aged 5 with my big sister aged 6. Mind you nobody owned a car in our street.

My DS is in year 8. He has walked to school exactly the same distance as yours since year 7 and walks alone.

He has a key and let's himself in when he gets home, then my parents collect him from my house to have him until I get home. A couple of times a week he walks straight to their house (1.5 miles) but does this with a mate.

My arsehole ex also moaned about it. I ignored him. He has no concept of exercise as he's a great big fat fuck so I guess for him, it's practically child cruelty to make a child walk just over half a mile.

All the secondaries here require a bus, so the kids are off to the bus stop by themselves in y7. Both my dc, one of which has adhd, walked to primary by themselves in y5. So yeah, your ex is definitely off on one.

I had to collect dd (y8) from school for an appointment at the end of the day. I was told exactly where to wait, a good 5 minute walk from school, and not to come any closer or she would never speak to me again. Secondary kids just aren’t picked up from the door!

You are absolutely not unreasonable.

Good grief, no, it's normal for year 7s to make their own way to and from school. And for far greater distances than that.

Lol where i live the year 5s walk to school without parents!

Totally normal for year 7 kids to walk to and from school. Mine does, and has done since year 5. I'm increasing my hours at work soon, so she's also going to be letting herself in, and on her own after school for about an hour a couple of days a week.

Walking to school is very normal from year 5 and many year 7 children are home alone for two hours a day.

Tell his dad that he can be responsible for all drop offs and pick ups then if he has such an issue with it!

unless they have additional needs which mean they can’t then there is no reason why secondary pupils shouldn’t be able to travel independently. As a parent who has to pick up due to disabilities I wish more did travel independently would make it so much easier!

My 10 year old Y6 child walks home and is absolutely fine.

As per all the rest, mine have walked themselves from Y5. And from Y7 have spent up to 2 hours alone after coming in off the school bus (walk to primary, bus to secondary).

Oh no, dad can't possibly help with this, due to work.... and his very important job that meant he had to move 40 miles away in the first place apparently.... he's very important you see and knows everything despite never doing any proper parenting.

Totally normal.

Mine is Y6, has walked himself to and from school alone since early Y5. He loves it, feels comfortably grownup doing it. From Y7 I expect he'll come home to an empty house at least 2 days per week too.

@funtycucker what do you mean "just asking to be bullied"? This implies it's the victim's fault - bullying is never the fault of the victim!

It's fine ATM. I might worry if it was dark though in deep winter.

It's not exactly helping yourself though it it if you let your mum walk you to school.