To find parenting 1 year old rather boring

[jellytots5]

DS is almost 1, he is a relatively easy-going baby and never been clingy/needing constant interaction. I am back to work now, I work 3 days a week so we have an hour and a half together before bed time on those days and then the other 2 days we spend together. DP works away and is only home at weekends. I thought me going back to work would make me value our days off together more but being totally honest, I’m finding it very boring still. I love him so much, I really do, he is the best thing that has ever happened to us. But I am just finding it all rather dull lately. I look forward to nap times and bed times and when DP gets home on Friday’s to take over.

It’s mainly finding ways to ensure is stimulated and interact with him that I struggle with. I find baby games/playing very boring. There’s only so many times I can do peek-a-boos or sing baby sings before I lose the will. I do try and get out the house as much as possible but obviously there is periods where we stay at home. I put some toys out and let him play and often I will sit on the sofa and just watch/have TV on in the background. We go to the library often and I take books home for me to read to him to as this is something I genuinely like to do but he just wants to eat the book/pull the pages out. Sometimes I put cartoons on for him. DP is so much better at playing with him than me and is a lot more imaginative.

It is getting more clear that DP is the preferred parent despite him being away 4.5 days a week and this is probably because he engages with him a lot more. I would like to know how much other get down and play with their young children around this age and what kind of things you do at home? How often do I need to play alongside him rather than just leaving him to it? For the past few months I have been a little concerned that he is behind with his milestones and I feel like I could be the reason for this.

Not long now. Once he's stable on his feet and stuff you can just go the park and let him walk around. Or get him a little pushchair or scuttlebug and he'll just play on his own. DS is 16 months and is an absolute ball, you don't have to "stimulate" them constantly, they do it themselves.

I don't think you're alone, OP. I loved my DD when she was 1, but I found it pretty boring too! It really will get more fun when your baby is older and engages with the world in a different way.

It sounds like you're doing lots of good things (reading stories, playing at least a little bit of the games, getting out of the house) so maybe just try not to stress about it? Or do you feel a bit down/depressed or emotionally detached overall? It's possible you could be experiencing some depression ... or it could just be that this age is a long, boring slog for some of us.

Many kids hit milestones at different ages, unless your child is seriously behind that's probably also something not to stress over.

Yes I am looking forward to him walking for this reason. I enjoyed the newborn stage and I am looking forward to him getting a bit older and being able to do more activities with him but this stage we're in at the moment and have been for a while now just feels quite dull.

Sounds like you're doing just fine. Can you meet up with other parents so he can play with kids and it's less boring for you?

Not being favourite is probably nothing to do with the quality of your play - he just likes having you both around and maybe idolises his dad?

Could you go out more/meet people so it's fun for you both? For example join a class or go to a toddler group. Or meet friends for coffee (ideally at the park or in a place where he can have a bit of freedom rather than you worrying about keeping him still/entertained while you chat). He can play and you can chat with the mums, but you're still putting him in a stimulating environment. I understand, i find days at home alone with DD a bit dull. Agree with PP saying the older they get the more fun/easier it is though. They change fast!

Once he can talk it should be much more enjoyable. I loved it once I could hold a conversation with DS and toddlers are so funny. It really won’t be long until he starts to have some words and the mispronounciations as they learn are often brilliant.

Obligatory but true: enjoy the boredom while you can.

Some stages of babydom are really utterly dull and some of the suggestions on how to entertain / teach babies are quite pointless tbh. A lot of products are out there to be sold rather than because they’re actually needed, ie no one needs a special tummy time mat for their baby.

If yours isn’t crying then she’s probably absolutely fine doing what she’s doing and you can enjoy it. I found a box of kitchen equipment or a big tub of water and some bubbles ag that age kept them entertained for ages.

it’s also really important than they learn how to entertain themselves so you can just know you’re doing that!

Reading this with interest as although my DC is only a few weeks old, I 100% know I’m going to feel the same as you OP. I can’t abide ‘pretend play’ or constantly having to do dull, forced children’s activities, whereas DH LOVES all this stuff so I have a feeling he’ll be the preferred parent too 😔

I know I’ll have to g myself up to do lots of these things but I’m really not looking forward to it!

I don’t enjoy the newborn stage at all. My youngest is 10 months old and I mostly enjoy him sometimes I feel bored but I have a teenager as well so it’s easier for me to remember how fast they change and grow. At least at this age you can help them with their needs and fix their problems. He doesn’t get constant stimulation from me as I have other stuff to do, but babies don’t need constant stimulation from an adult. He needs time and space to explore and learn new skills.
Most Children will go through phases of preferring one parent over another.

You can still get rag books which are untearable. I used to point to the pictures and say 'apple' 'ball' 'cat'...... and they would start to copy me; wooden bricks were good to build towers.

Babies are boring, yes they are super cute, and adorable and grow into fun toddlers
and then as children they can be amazing
but they can be boring, sorry, but true!
you’re doing the correct things, put music, read to him
and also remember there’s a value on leaning to be bored, you don’t need to entertain 24/7
if your DH is “the favourite” maybe is because your baby sees him less / so novelty?
if you know other adults with babies, play dates? Yes they won’t play, but at least you get some adult conversation
many chance the library has book big sessions or check local museums
I found that doing one big activity per day was great for my baby (and my mental health) and also meant if the rest of the day was not that full hands on entering all the time, at least we already did something
sometimes finding something you enjoy, and baby comes along it’s also great, think a museum, you go to see what you want and the (not mobile yet) baby gets to see people, see the exhibits
go for a long walk (if you like that) again, baby will “learn” a lot by just looking at the plants, animals, other people in the walk - at that age they learn by just living
keep your energy for when they move - it’s way more fun, but then you need to make sure you keep them safe, and they will do anything to not be safe!

He is likely showing a preference for your DH when he sees him because he is a weekend novelty. I think it's pretty common. Soon he will change allegiances like the weather depending on who he feels will give the most favourable answer/result in any given situation 😬
I found the baby days very dull too. Toddlerhood was better, and now at 6 and 8yo they are a pleasure and much fun to hang out with. I have never done much of the sitting on the floor playing stuff, role playing, or sitting through endless plays - I try to play to my strengths! DH is much better at those things and quite enjoys it, so I let him crack on! At baby and toddler age I happily did messy play and read endless books. We spent our days at numerous playgroups, the odd soft play, the swimming pool, and I got membership to the local zoo. I encouraged independent play. Now they are older, I enjoy sharing facts and wonder, doing experiments, teaching them practical skills, and sharing books (both listening and reading to them). I'm also the parent who helps with homework and Scouting badges, and gets them to their activities on time. All things that I'm much better than DH at!

Can you get out more and get to know more parents? It is worth building a network now IMO, as it is likely you will see the same faces pop up again and again over the coming years at the school gates or various extracurricular activities.

It's fine to do things like housework while he plays - and you can talk to him while you do it. I used to give DD a running commentary as I hung up the washing, and I still remember when she took over, and started saying "Daddy's socks" as I hung them up - she was obviously listening and learning, even if it seemed like inane chatter.
Likewise, going shopping might seem like something really boring, but he'll find it interesting. Not everything has to be child-centred for them to be learning. (For a longer shopping trip, give him a chance to use some energy, too - stop in a park for a bit if he's walking; until then make use of the library for some crawling space.)

It's totally boring, don't feel guilty! I mean I wouldn't change it and she's a lovely sweet baby but the relentless toddler things they do - climbing the sofa and almost falling off, getting into the cupboards and clearing them out etc those are not v fun. Some shopping centres/coffee places have a little play corner (mine has a free soft play that's perfect for toddlers) that can kill a morning, you drink coffee while they play. Toddler groups are good too but annoying having to talk to other people

The five minute mum book is good for play ideas btw.

I have never been great at imaginative play. Even now DD1 is 7 and I would much rather read/do crafts/bake with her than play an imaginative game.
My DH is better at that stuff. Sometimes I feel guilty about it but mostly I remind myself that we bring different things to relationships and it's ok that I don't do as much of that stuff.

I was lucky with my 2nd son because I met a good friend at toddlers group so we both had babies the same age and built a great friendship until I moved house.