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Original poster

To be this clueless about “Black Tie” dress code? Help needed!!

137 replies

EmptyHouse0822 · 26/09/2022 09:45

I’ve been invited to some big fancy awards night, it’s work related and the dress code is “Black Tie”.

I don’t know anyone else who is going and for various reasons I don’t want to tell any of my colleagues I have been nominated. There would be accusations of “showing off” as being the main one.

I have never been to a Black Tie event and the awards ceremony is a really big deal and somewhere extremely swanky so I don’t want to get it wrong.

Anyhow, I understand what “Black Tie” means for the men…..but what about women?

Do we have to wear black too? And do the dresses have to be floor length?

Im looking for dresses online and there are some really beautiful ones, but I don’t want to be either under dressed or over dressed.

Im not usually one for wearing black as I like a bit of colour, but if that’s a big no-no then I will have to suck it up.

And what about handbags and shoes - do they have to be completely black?

The event is in less than two weeks and I really need to sort this.

Help!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
40
Original poster
EmptyHouse0822 · 26/09/2022 10:42

What about these two??

To be this clueless about “Black Tie” dress code? Help needed!!
To be this clueless about “Black Tie” dress code? Help needed!!
OP posts:
Rosehugger · 26/09/2022 10:50

In my experience for black tie women wear either a long dress or a cocktail dress. Which is anything a little bit smarter than a day dress.To be on the safe side I'd go for a shorter dress as I know I'd feel more daft in a ballgown if everyone else was in short dresses. Or a smart dinner jacket type suit/all in one would also be acceptable, it doesn't have to be a dress. In fact if I were going to a do in winter I'd hire or buy myself a man's dinner suit as they are so comfortable, warm and flattering. Cummerbunds are fantastic! Our work do is in summer so I wear a dress.

Rosehugger · 26/09/2022 10:52

The best thing would be is if you could ask some other women going what they are wearing - my colleague and I always do this with one another just to see if the consensus is more for short or long dresses. But if you can't do this, you can hardly go wrong with a LBD (little black dress).

MsMarch · 26/09/2022 10:52

Both of your latest suggestions are fine but I'd go darker rather than light so prefer the black one.

Doesn't have to be black but forest green or sea green for example are better than a pale green.

ColeensBoot · 26/09/2022 10:52

Black tie is the dress code for men, you are correct.
I would go for a flattering colourful cocktail dress. No boobs on show, sensible length of skirt. Take photos in REALLY strong light, seen so many awards photos where the outfits looked awful in photos but probably looked fine in reality.

2bazookas · 26/09/2022 10:54

We only went to black tie events once a year (national TV awards with famous peeps, dinner and speeches, but not formal balls so cocktail length was perfectly acceptable) . I used to hire a different posh frock every time.

Hiring a high quality dress is economic compared with buying and cleaning one) and DH used to charge it to expenses along with travel and hotel.

Original poster
EmptyHouse0822 · 26/09/2022 10:58

Ebananascroogey · 26/09/2022 10:49

That’s really lovely!!

OP posts:
Original poster
EmptyHouse0822 · 26/09/2022 11:00

Are these a bit too casual?

Im loving the flowing and sparkles….

To be this clueless about “Black Tie” dress code? Help needed!!
To be this clueless about “Black Tie” dress code? Help needed!!
To be this clueless about “Black Tie” dress code? Help needed!!
To be this clueless about “Black Tie” dress code? Help needed!!
To be this clueless about “Black Tie” dress code? Help needed!!
OP posts:
PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 26/09/2022 11:04

Think Tess on Strictly. Grin

I'd wear floor length if there was no dancing.

If it's winter, I'd take the opportunity to wear a colour that you might not wear to a wedding if you see what I mean — a jewel colour maybe?

Rosehugger · 26/09/2022 11:06

Fabric is often what makes something look more formal. Satin, silk, velvet, damask or lace are almost always formal enough for black tie. The same dress in jersey cotton or linen make it look more like a day dress, as do small floral patterns. Polyester can be used in a formal outfit but it depends how it is finished.

Be careful with lighter colours as it can look a bit bridal/bridesmaid/mother of the bride - darker colours are safer if you aren't sure.

There is a really wide range of things that are considered acceptable for women to wear at black tie events.

I have a full length version of this, but if you got a midi version (or something similar from elsewhere, this is just an example) it would still look formal enough with nice jewellery and shoes and you may be more likely to be able to recycle it for other events.

www.ghost.co.uk/grace-dress9-d04g010-j40

These dresses are beautifully made and cut though and will last for years. I washed mine on delicates in the machine and it looks just as good.

To be this clueless about “Black Tie” dress code? Help needed!!
MsMarch · 26/09/2022 11:07

I'm sending a trend in your picks. That last lot are all, in my opinion, completely inappropriate for a work black tie event, especially if taking place at this time of year when it's cold/dark.

GreenManalishi · 26/09/2022 11:08

Pastels are fine, but remember you will be in a sea of black and dark tones, you don't want to feel like a sparkly macaron

How about this? Dark green, sparkly, doesn't hit the floor so you won't trip up over it, hides your bra straps.

Dixiechickonhols · 26/09/2022 11:10

Are there pics from same event online even if it’s a few years ago. I wore a phase 8 midi dress to last black tie do with heels and it was perfect. Probably depends on industry mine was law so probably less glitzy than some dos.

Rosehugger · 26/09/2022 11:10

@EmptyHouse0822 Not too casual but wrong occasion. They are very "look at me" bridal or bridesmaid or prom dress and very flouncy and unprofessional. I'd avoid anything like that like the plague.

GreenManalishi · 26/09/2022 11:10

Or this is beautiful if its a higher end venue, way over budget but you might find something similar second hand.

Sd352 · 26/09/2022 11:11

The Vogue guide is pretty good although more focused on non-work black tie events:

www.vogue.co.uk/article/black-tie-dress-code

For work, would go for more of an elegant vibe than sexy and a ritzier cocktail dress is usually fine (provided worn with heels, nice clutch, statement jewellery etc)

blobby10 · 26/09/2022 11:11

Black tie for a work event would always mean the classic LBD style for me - not floor length and certainly not a ball gown! These days I think it means cocktail dresses for ladies rather than full length.

GreenManalishi · 26/09/2022 11:14

Something like this would be fail safe.

Rosehugger · 26/09/2022 11:15

This is an example of a darker coloured one more in the style you seem to like, OP. Definitely fine for black tie.

www.phase-eight.com/product/molly-sequin-midi-dress-221048032.html

To be this clueless about “Black Tie” dress code? Help needed!!
Rosehugger · 26/09/2022 11:17

@blobby10 There are a lot more full length dresses around these days IMO at the events I go to. But still, an LBD or dark coloured cocktail dress would not be out of place. The ones OP posted would be though.

Original poster
EmptyHouse0822 · 26/09/2022 11:18

I’ve got a headache 😂

I just hate looking plain and don’t want to look like everybody else.

I don’t want to stand out in a bad way, but nor do I just want to look like a clone of everyone else.

I just want something with a bit of an edge.

OP posts:
Dixiechickonhols · 26/09/2022 11:18

This was what I wore but I’m late 40s and it was black tie at a work conference in a non glam industry.

To be this clueless about “Black Tie” dress code? Help needed!!
Original poster
EmptyHouse0822 · 26/09/2022 11:19

Rosehugger · 26/09/2022 11:15

This is an example of a darker coloured one more in the style you seem to like, OP. Definitely fine for black tie.

www.phase-eight.com/product/molly-sequin-midi-dress-221048032.html

It’s very beautiful but about £100 over budget sadly 😂

OP posts:
Sd352 · 26/09/2022 11:20

Just saw your budget. Something like these could work:

www.johnlewis.com/chi-chi-london-one-shoulder-maxi-dress-blue/blue/p6262852

www.johnlewis.com/phase-eight-layla-wide-leg-jumpsuit-emerald/p6029943

I would be inclined to not wear black just because 80% of attendees would be wearing black so it can be nice to stand out (subtly).

This image gallery from a legal black tie awards function may also help (of course, law tends to be fairly conservative whereas your field may be more fashionable / adventurous):

www.event.law.com/legalweek-british-legal-awards/image-gallery