Sorry I’m advance for long post and thanks to those who do read :)
Back ground - I have a very strange relationship with my dad. It’s very narcissistic and my mum left me and my 2 other siblings with him when I was 11. My dad has mental health issues and we all just have always hold him what he wants to hear. I have a chronic fear of conflict and have ever since I was young and will always shy away from it.
current issue.
mahout 3 months ago my dad adopted a rescue dog. I very rarely visit my dad because he’s not very nice to me but I took my 3 girls to visit him and the new dog. Kids are 3, 5 and 8. The dog was excited and jumped up and but my eldest girls t shirt. My girls and I were a bit shaken but my dad brushed it off and blamed it on my son For moving too quickly.
fast forward to 2 months later my dad had invited my family and brothers and sisters over for takeaway to celebrate being in his new home. I was nervous about the dog but husband agreed would be fine as he was coming too. We were having a good night and then my niece stood on the dogs tail and the dog nipped her on the leg (broke her skin) everyone down played it and my husband and I were saying it’s not acceptable (we should have left then) about 5 minutes later my dd3 went to check on my niece who at the point was crying in the other room with her step mum (my brother is useless with her and said it was her fault?!) my dd3 followed and next thing the dog is on top of and growling on my 3 year old. It was awful my husband has to get the dog off. I got the children outside and realised my youngest has been injured on his stomach and back. Children were hysterical. At this point the dog is up stairs (chased away by my husband and my dad is sitting in the lounge (apparently on shock) I took my children straight to the hospital. No word off my family for 4 hours only a reply from my dad when we text to ask the breed of the dog because the doctors needed to know for the report.
luckily dd3 didn’t need stitches and it could have been a lot of worse but it was horrendous and I will forever wish I’d asked for the dog to be moved away.
fast forward to the next day my dad text to see if the kids were okay. I face timed him thinking he’d want to see the kids but kept saying how he was I shock and not that bad as no stitches. He asked dd id he wanted to see the dog on the call (wtf?) she did not. I quickly ended the conversation and said he should consider if he should keep the dog at all by my kids would be going. Nowhere near it again.
a few days later I have a visit from the police (standard procedure) but I was shaken up. I messaged our family chat saying the police had been round and we will be staying away from dogs and just got a 👍🏻 from my dad. I was so upset at the time that no one has been to see me or the kids to check us and I felt let down and left the group chat.
I didn’t hear anything then from my dad for 4 weeks… and then it was a letter saying he was sorry and would leave it to me to contact him. I messaged to say I received the letter and wasn’t sure why he hasn’t been over to see us and that he’s more than welcome.
No reply again for 2 weeks.
His reply then was can he meet just me for a coffee on a weekday. I work full time and have a uni course and just dont have the time during the week so suggested a weekend to see us all, he replied and said he is busy weekends and would prefer to just see me.
IMO he doesn’t want to face my husband or kids and likes to get me on my own because he knows I don’t like conflicts and will be uncomfortable even though I know I have done nothing wrong. My child was attacked by his dog and he’s still not been to see her. Or asked if they kids have settled back to to school or anything ) it’s always on his terms. Weekday only because he’s apparently busy every weekend? Too busy to make the effort…?
my head is mashed and I just want to have a caring supportive family :( advise welcome and thank you for reading this is you read it all it’s very long!!)
(myself and my siblings have no contact with my mother at all)